Top 10 SAVAGE Comebacks in Kids Shows
#10: The Wrong Thing
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“Victorious” (2010-13) Jade West might just be the most revered Nickelodeon tough girl. She’s constantly telling her classmates at Hollywood Arts High School exactly what she thinks, and we love her for it. Sinjin Van Cleef, on the other hand, is the classic kind of creepy weirdo. Put them together, add some accidental disco, and this classic line is what you get. Jade starts the scene already grumpy while she watches Beck play the love interest to her frenemy Tori in a theater rehearsal. Then Sinjin hits the wrong button on the console, triggering mood-killing disco music. For this mishap, he becomes the unlucky target of Jade’s rage. We’d almost feel bad for the poor geek… if he didn’t spend the rest of the episode defending disco.
#9: Cool Bike
“The Fairly OddParents” (2001-17) In anticipation of an upcoming father-son bike race, Timmy’s Dad, in his typical subpar fashion, makes his son a bike. This isn’t the sort of contraption that’s going to win races any time soon. The frame is made of wood. The seat is a literal bag of poop. The tires aren’t the same size and it's got fuzzy pink house shoes for pedals. Timmy, to say the least, is ready to wish for something better. Before he does, though, he complains that this bike just isn’t worthy of him. In response, Cosmo lets the kid know this bike actually fits him to a T.
#8: Like a Son
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“Phineas and Ferb” (2007-) “Phineas and Ferb” features a ton of unique, hilarious, and somewhat antagonistic duos. Baljeet and Buford, Agent P and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Suzy and Candace… But, Carl the Intern and Major Monogram’s unique combo of undying adoration versus total disregard is especially fun. In one scene, Carl’s a little too keen to be at the Major’s beck and call… and Monogram disappoints him severely and brutally. The unadulterated comedy of it all never fails to get us, but we still can’t help feeling just a little bit bad for Carl. Is there any recovering from this?
#7: Azula vs. Long Feng
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“Avatar: The Last Airbender” (2005-08) The Coup of Ba Sing Se from “Avatar: The Last Airbender” is one of those storylines that you can hardly believe is featured in a show for children. There’s political subterfuge and the deposing of a king. Long Feng, the Earth King’s right-hand man and the leader of the Dai Li – who are essentially the Earth Kingdom’s secret service – plans to take the throne. His mistake is partnering with Azula to do it. When he orders the Fire Princess’ arrest, the Dai Li don’t budge. They all watch as she takes the throne. The hard truth of her victory is delivered in the most satisfying, savage way. It’s an epic demonstration of her manipulative, power-hungry nature.
#6: Bad Birthday
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“Drake & Josh” (2004-07) “Drake & Josh” sets the kid show standard for odd bickering duos, with the stepbrothers always serving up wacky situations and hilarious conflicts. Josh’s reaction to Drake getting them stuck in a doorless treehouse is classic. However, a different incredible moment deserves the spot for this series' best clap back. First, it’s Josh’s birthday. He’s ecstatic, but nervous because he is meeting his hero, Oprah. Then he hits her with his car. Josh bemoans his ruined birthday, and Drake asks just about the dumbest question ever. The birthday boy sarcastically responds that the weather is the source of his sorrow. Then he makes it clear, of course, it's the Oprah thing.
#5: To Be Clear
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“Animaniacs” (1993-98) Snappy lines were one of the hallmarks of the 1990s comedy cartoon about the Warner Siblings. Each episode of “Animaniacs” was completely different and often put the characters in new settings. This moment has Yakko, Wakko, and Dot in the classroom. The teacher tries her best to be clear that the trio won’t get away with their normal shenanigans. The kids show her right from the get-go, by popping out of a box and bursting into song, that her warnings will be easier declared than actually put into practice. But the real shining moment of backtalk is this one: The Warners take their cartoon magic and show Miss Flamiel what “clear” really means. It’s no wonder they bring her to her wit's end.
#4: Who Put You on the Planet?
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“SpongeBob SquarePants” (1999-) There’s no way a list of the best kids show comebacks could leave out a moment from “SpongeBob SquarePants.” Picking just one was tough. The time when SpongeBob calls Patrick a stupid star is iconic. But we think the best comeback is a different SpongeBob line. When the goofball dances to music that's straight from his brain, grumpy Squidward makes his disdain known. SpongeBob gets him back with this simple, effective, and absolutely devastating response. And our hero spends the rest of the episode getting the last laugh, out-dancing Squidward at every turn.
#3: Not Auburn
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“The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” (2005-08) The trouble-making twins from “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” are constantly slamming each other, which makes for a lot of iconic one-liners. The quip from this moment, though, is definitely one of the show’s best. For context, Cody decides he is done with getting mistaken for his twin brother Zack. So, he comes up with some creative solutions, one of them being to dye his hair. Rather than a “honey mist auburn”, you’ll remember that Cody gets what is more of a bright red mess. Zack, ever the “encouraging” twin, has this hysterical witty comment to offer.
#2: Lonely Child
“Arthur” (1996-2022) PBS’s “Arthur” is a show with surprisingly sick burns. Arthur and the ever-sassy D.W.’s constant sibling squabbles mean nearly every episode has a great comeback or two. But, the most devastating verbal takedown doesn’t come from the show’s sass queen; it's from her older brother. There's a race at the Sibling Festival, and D.W., intentions in the right place, worries about only child Sue Ellen not getting to compete. The rest of the clip doesn’t even need an explanation: roll it! There’s zero returning from that, and it’s pretty satisfying to see D.W. get a taste of her own medicine for once.
#1: Best Man
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“iCarly” (2007-12) Sam from “iCarly” might be the champion of kids show clap backs. She’s definitely delivered some doozies over the show's run. This one unforgettable comeback goes for the jugular. It starts when the “iCarly” web show gets involved in a couple’s marriage proposal and eventual wedding. The groom randomly invites tech producer Freddie to be the best man. The show’s resident geek had just teased Carly and Sam about being bridesmaids and Sam fires back with this ridiculous burn. Ouch, that one hurts. Of course, she later briefly dates this not-so-best man. So here’s a lesson to be careful with your words, you just might end up eating them!
