Top 10 Childhood Insults You Forgot About

Yes, this is the original comeback. If told something offensive by a fellow child, you could easily retaliate by using this rhyming insult, indicating that whatever verbal abuse had been directed your way was now applied to the original insulter. Since hearing it at the playground, we’ve no doubt heard this witty little expression everywhere, from Molly Shannon’s bullied schoolgirl in 1999’s “Superstar” to Ross Geller’s verbal sparring with a child in “Friends.” However, we think that the most inventive version of this insult belongs to Sheldon Cooper in a pretty legendary episode of “The Big Bang Theory.”

Usually in this traditional game played by schoolchildren, one will declare that the day is “Opposite Day,” and that whatever is said actually means the opposite thing. The idea is actually pretty funny and has often been portrayed quite comically, particularly in web series like “The Cyanide & Happiness Show” and “Jake and Amir.” Usually not much more than a fun mental exercise, the game can quickly become mean-spirited when played by kids who are more than happy to use the day to say nice things to each other...or is it rude things?

Although it’s similar to terms like “chicken” or “baby,” we had to give the number eight spot to this iconic insult. The expression can be traced back as far as 1906, although an earlier version seems to be the term “fraidy-cat.” Thought to be taken from cats’ tendencies to be easily startled or frightened, this was the resounding call of groups of kids everywhere egging their timid peers on. Though the phrase is most often used by children, it is still very much used by adults to describe anyone who scares easily or has nervous tendencies.

There’s just something about mothers. Known officially as a maternal insult, the basis of the offense lies in the natural tendency for people to love their moms. This is why, in almost every culture around the world, offensive remarks targeting mums are guaranteed to incite anger. Although most trace back “your mom” jokes to the writings of William Shakespeare, some say that they go back to Biblical times. As the story goes, when King Jehoram was approached by the rebel Jehu and asked if his visit meant peace, Jehu retorted: “What peace, so long as the prostitution of your mother Jezebel and her witchcraft abound?” The rest, as they say, is history.

Just when you think things are going your way . . . there’s a twist. The implications of this insult are that everything the person just told you is a lie and was purely said to mess with you, similar to insults featuring the Opposite Day joke. A more dated version of the same term is the beloved 90’s expression: “Sike!” You can literally tell the person that they are pretty, or smart, or talented, and just when they feel good about themselves, you can take it all away...Yep, we’re obviously still not over it.

It has been called the ultimate comeback: “In your face!” This expression most likely originated in the 1970’s as an insult in the world of basketball. Used to show dominance or to put down the opposing players, that expression is still used today in sports and in popular culture. However, it appears to have also led to the abbreviation “your face,” which has since become a way to mildly insult someone in almost any situation. Although not very witty or intellectually-stimulating, it is undeniably addictive to use.

This is a classic recursive comeback, a version of expressions including “the pot calling the kettle black” or the even older “it takes a thief to catch a thief.” No matter what ways it’s used, the insinuation of this reverse insult is that the person expressing an originating insult or criticism actually has the same characteristics as the one he or she is offending. Although the expression is more likely to have been used by schoolchildren of the past, even millenials will enjoy the expression while catching up with reruns on old TV shows, most famously by Homer Simpson in idiotic fashion.

You know an insult has reached the big leagues when it has its own Wikipedia article! The phrase can be said on its own, or completed with an ending such as: “ . . .because the face ain’t listening!” Though it’s exact origin is unknown, it was made famous by comedian Martin Lawrence in his sitcom “Martin.” Its meaning (usually said along with an outstretched palm in another’s face) is crystal clear: Shut up. Especially widespread in the 1990s and early 2000s, its popularity is obvious through its heavy use in mainstream films and songs of the time.

This is one of those insults that became so much more than a mere phrase. Perfect for mocking someone who innocently expresses how much they like someone or something, it’s been featured on everything from television dramas to sketch comedies and even commercials. When featured on TV, the phrase can be taken literally for great comedic effect, although the Doritos commercial from a few years ago may have taken things to a creepy new level. At any rate, when used in everyday life, it’s a great way to get your friend to shut up.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honourable mentions:

Take a Chill Pill

Tattletale

Teacher’s Pet

Was it ever going to be anything else? Easily the most pervasive, annoying, yet effective comeback of all time, it’s yet another great way to turn any insult around and back onto the person who insulted you first (Do we sense a trend?). Although it cannot be known exactly where the expression originated from, we can be sure that Pee-wee Herman was the one who made the phrase bigger than ever. Ever since the ‘80s, the mean quip has made its rounds in schools and TV shows across North America, and that is why we’ve listed it as our top childhood insult.