20 Executed Criminals Last Words
“Shoot Straight”
Harry ‘Breaker’ Harbord Morant Born in 1864, Breaker Morant served as an Anglo-Australian military officer. After fighting in the Anglo-Boer War, Morant was eventually court-martialed for war crimes. This sort of prosecution was unheard of at the time, but having committed the revenge killings of Prisoners of War and innocent civilians, he was convicted of murder in 1902. And Morant’s no-nonsense final choice of words likely elicited a small chuckle or smirk from those on the firing squad with a dark sense of humor: “Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it!” And that... was that.
“He Just Lost My Vote”
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Christopher Scott Emmett One fateful night in 2001, this Virginia-based roofer found himself sharing a motel room with a co-worker. After grilling and playing cards together, Emmett beat the man to death and stole his wallet to buy drugs. Although his final words start out as you might expect - “Tell my family and friends I love them” - they quickly take an odd turn. Emmett managed to sneak in a jab at the government and make light of his fate before the lethal injection did him in - “Tell the governor he just lost my vote. Y’all hurry this along, I’m dying to get out of here.”
“I’d Rather Be Fishing”
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Jimmy L. Glass Here’s yet another criminal with a seriously morbid funny streak. In 1982, Glass was serving a sentence in a Louisiana jail, when he escaped with a fellow inmate. While on the run, they murdered a husband and wife, and were soon after sentenced to death by electric chair. Glass gained national attention when he petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court claiming the chair was “cruel and unusual punishment,” but his plea was eventually shot down with a vote of 5-4. What followed was a set of final words that would fit better on a coffee mug: “I’d rather be fishing.”
“Keep the Faith”
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Richard Zeitvogel Similar to Glass, Zeitvogel was already serving time when he committed the crime that earned him the death penalty. Unlike Glass however, he never left prison to commit it. Zeitvogel was arrested for robbery and sexual assault in 1974. Ten years later, he made the decision to murder his cellmate; with prosecutors contending Zeitvogel did this because he wanted to be on death row with fellow inmate Frank Guinan. As shocking and deranged as this sequence of events was, his zen and laid back final words are even more baffling: sounding like he was on the way to a rock concert and not his execution, Zeitvogel said “Keep the faith, and rock on.”
“I Just Want Everyone to Know…”
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Edward Anthony Ellis After being fired from his job as a maintenance worker in an apartment building, Ellis was convicted of strangling and killing 74-year-old resident Bertie Eakens in 1983, with eyewitness accounts and fingerprints corroborating his involvement in her murder. In the days before his execution, Ellis’ lawyer produced a confession letter allegedly written by another individual. At the time, Texas had the highest number of capital punishments in any state, and this new evidence did little to sway the court. Unsurprisingly, Ellis was unhappy with the verdict, and made those sentiments known with his final words: “I just want everyone to know that the prosecutor and Bill Scott are sorry sons of bitches.”
“This Is Not an Execution”
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Bennie Demps In 1976, Demps was five years into a double life sentence for a double homicide in Lake County, Florida. An alleged snitch was discovered by Demps and a fellow inmate, and they stabbed him to death with a homemade knife. Unlike some others on this list, there was nothing humorous about Demps’ final words, which generated much controversy. He complained about painful injuries allegedly sustained while technicians struggled to insert the intravenous drip used to deliver the lethal injection. His last words were called out to Demps’ lawyer, and added flame to the debate surrounding the treatment of death row inmates: “This is not an execution, it is murder.”
“I Think That the Governor’s Phone Is Broke”
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Jeffrey David Matthews Matthews was yet another criminal who landed on death row for some truly horrifying acts. Along with accomplice Tracy Dyer, Matthews robbed his great aunt and uncle, resulting in both an attempted murder and a murder respectively. After downing a meat lover’s deep-dish pizza, fried shrimp and hush puppies as a final meal, Matthews gave a sentimental sendoff, telling his loved ones how much he cared for them. Having already received three stays of execution courtesy of Gov. Brad Henry, he went out with a humorous nod to the man, saying “I think that governor’s phone is broke. He hadn’t called yet.”
“My Trial Attorney”
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George Bernard Harris It all started with a run of good luck at the casino. Harris won a considerable sum of money at the craps table on a winter’s day in 1989, and decided that purchasing two machine guns, an Uzi and a .45 caliber Thompson automatic, would be a wise investment. To no one’s surprise, it wasn’t, and a heated argument with the friend tasked with hiding the guns resulted in Harris murdering said friend. He was arrested just days later for armed robbery, and subsequently convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Harris’ last words were brash, startling and memorable to say the least: “Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney.”
“Hoka Hey”
Clarence Ray Allen Allen’s story is perhaps the darkest on our list. Beginning in 1974, he robbed a local market with his son. They pulled off the job successfully, but then the son’s 17-year-old girlfriend snitched on them. Allen subsequently ordered a hit on her, resulting in a life sentence in prison. While behind bars, Allen solicited help from a soon-to-be-released inmate to murder eight prosecution witnesses, to help ensure a shorter term when his case was appealed. It’s clear how unhinged Clarence Ray was, and this second hit resulted in three more murders. In the minutes preceding lethal injection, Allen proclaimed, “Hoka hey, it’s a good day to die.” Hoka hey, an expression sometimes used by Western Sioux Indigenous peoples, means “hurry hurry.”
“Where’s My Stunt Double”
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Vincent Gutierrez It seems that many of these criminals would’ve made great standup comedians in a different life. Gutierrez joined two friends in the carjacking of U.S. Air Force Captain Jose Cobo one morning in 1997. It went horribly wrong, and Cobo was shot and killed. In 2007, Vincent was executed by lethal injection, but before dying, he made a wisecrack that likely left onlookers unsure how to respond. He asked, quite simply, while laughing: “Where’s a stunt double when you need one?” This is a textbook example of “gallows humor,” and it just goes to show that some people are able to find something to laugh about even in the darkest of moments.
“Pleasure to End All Pleasures”
Peter Kürten The shadowy creep in the acclaimed 1931 film by Fritz Lang entitled “M” was purportedly inspired by Peter Kürten – though the director denies this. Nicknamed The Vampire of Dusseldorf, Kürten terrorized that German city in 1929 and 1930, being charged with nine murders and seven attempted murders. He was sentenced to death via guillotine, an experience that he seemed disturbingly excited about, as in his last moments he asked whether he’d be able to hear the aftermath of this particularly gruesome form of execution.
“Bloody Babs”
Barbara Graham Oakland native and Hollywood sex worker Barbara Graham was only the third California female to meet her maker by way of gas execution. Graham found herself in such a predicament for her role in the vicious 1953 murder of an elderly Burbank woman. Despite her rather positive portrayal in the 1958 flick “I Want to Live!”, Graham was allegedly THE murderer. Nicknamed Bloody Babs, she had a brief moment of clarity as the curtains closed, curiously acknowledging that “good people are always so sure they're right.”
Bogus Journey
Robert Alton Harris His was the first execution in California in a quarter of a century – and after a series of appeals and stays of execution, Robert Alton Harris met the end of his life with a misquotation from the 2nd “Bill & Ted” movie – that being, “You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everybody dances with the grim reaper.” Indeed, in 1992, the North Carolina native lived out his final moments in San Quentin State Prison’s gas chamber after he was convicted of two murders in the late 1970s. Meanwhile, his younger brother and accomplice Daniel Harris was given a 6-year sentence after being convicted of kidnapping.
“Sailing with the Rock”
Aileen Wuornos In the early ‘90s, a Florida sex worker killed seven men, allegedly in self-defense, yet the judicial system didn’t quite buy the story of one Aileen Wuornos. In fact, the state of Florida handed down six death sentences, and as you might’ve already guessed, it was inevitable that Wuornos would receive that fateful injection. But before the injection, Wuornos left a memorable message: “Yes, I would just like to say I'm sailing with the rock, and I'll be back, like ‘Independence Day,’ with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I'll be back, I'll be back.”
Personal Branding
Gary Gilmore Notorious for his unusual demand that his death sentence be carried out by firing squad, Gary Gilmore faced such a squad in Utah just six months after he murdered two men. Based on new regulations, the execution marked the first in nearly 10 years within the United States judicial system. Oddly enough, his final words inspired the catchphrase for one of the world’s most successful sporting brands. Facing five volunteer gunmen, Gilmore spouted the infamous final phrase “Let’s do it” on January 17th, 1977. A little over a decade later, stars like Michael Jordan were selling sneakers through a campaign with a similar slogan.
SpaghettiO Fail
Thomas J. Grasso In the hours before his execution, the murderer of two elderly victims released a string of cryptic statements to the press, channeling the likes of T.S. Elliot and even dropping his own poem. When it came time for Thomas J. Grasso to punch his one-way ticket, though, it was SpaghettiOs that engulfed his mind. Ordering a variety of foods for his final meal, ranging from Burger King to pumpkin pie, Grasso let it be known that “I did not get my SpaghettiOs, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” It was certainly a major blow to spaghetti…
“Baked Appel”
George Appel Not to be confused with noted Australian politician John George Appel, the Big Apple cop killer named George Appel kept it light in the face of certain death. Appel found humor in his own name, his imminent death and perhaps even in the city itself. Strapped to an electric chair in 1928, Mr. Appel delivered a well-timed pun by stating “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.” It was as though he’d been preparing the punchline for years.
Gallows Epiphany
Westley Allan Dodd It’s never certain how a killer will react in court, but Westley Allan Dodd actually requested his own hanging, a method he used in his own criminal acts. He seemingly tried to become famous for his crimes, boasting to the media and supposedly helping parents by writing prevention material during his trial. However, in the end, Westley Allan Dodd did afford the victims’ families at least a bit of solace by noting “I was once asked by somebody, I don’t remember who, if there was any way sex offenders could be stopped. I said ‘No.’ I was wrong. I was wrong when I said there was no hope, no peace. There is hope. There is peace. I found both in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Look to the Lord, and you will find peace.”
“Hoosier Bastard”
Carl Panzram Mistreated by corrections officers as an adolescent, Carl Panzram unsurprisingly went on to live a troubled life. This ultimately led to a 1920 killing spree in New Haven, Connecticut that claimed dozens of victims. Like most killers, Panzram was known to inflate the numbers of his crimes and refused to apologize all the way up to his 1930 hanging. Even at the end, he continued to boast by hollering out “Yes, hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could kill a dozen men while you're screwing around!”
“French Fries”
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James French The only U.S. criminal executed for his crimes in 1966, James French was the last man executed prior to the case “Furman v. Georgia,” which temporarily suspended executions in the U.S. He pushed the process along by adding his cellmate to his list of victims, as French was apparently scared to take his own life. French had some odd yet revealing words once his death by electric chair came calling, and appeared to anticipate the headlines of the next day’s morning news by uttering: “How's this for your headline? 'French Fries.'“ A well thought-out joke, but one he’d probably been waiting to deliver since his first brush with the law.
