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10 Hidden Jokes in Kids Movies That Will Ruin Your Childhood

VO: Phoebe de Jeu WRITTEN BY: Michael Wynands

We’re guessing that these went right over your head as a kid. Join as we count down our picks for the 10 Hidden Jokes in Kids Movies That Ruined Your Childhood. For this list, we’ll be looking at the most adult-oriented jokes in kids movies that, in hindsight, seem totally inappropriate.

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Script written by Michael Wynands

Top 10 Hidden Jokes in Kids Movies That Will Ruin Your Childhood

We’re guessing that these went right over your head as a kid. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the 10 Hidden Jokes in Kids Movies That Ruined Your Childhood.

For this list, we’ll be looking at the most adult-oriented jokes in kids movies that, in hindsight, seem totally inappropriate.

#10: A Castle That’s Compensating for Shortcomings
“Shrek” (2001)

Part of what’s made this beloved animated franchise so successful is its ability to balance kid-friendly jokes with adult-oriented references and knowing winks. With that being said, there are a few moments that might raise some eyebrows in hindsight. For example, there’s this scene that really makes it seem like Lord Farquaad is getting an erection while looking at Princess Fiona’s picture. Thankfully, viewers can’t see any movement in the sheets . . . so maybe Shrek wasn’t so far off the mark when he made his locker room joke about a big castle for a little man. It might have just been a jab at Farquaad’s height . . . but we doubt it.

#9: Evil Desires
“Hocus Pocus” (1993)

There are number of jokes meant for adults in this classic Halloween film, like references to Max’s virginity and Emily talking about Alison’s “yabbos”. But there’s no moment more inappropriate than when the witches announce their desire for children. To be clear, they want to kill them to steal their youth, but this horny bus driver just sees it an invitation to test his virility. A total horn dog, he makes it clear that he’s more than willing to oblige the strange trio. Having sex with three evil witches whose most recent medical checks - if any - predate the invention of penicillin? We think he’s risking more than child support. Good luck buddy!

#8: A House with a Vulva
“Monster House” (2006)

So … who thought it was a good idea to let “Rick and Morty” creator Dan Harmon co-write the screenplay for a kids film? To be fair, this was years before he created “Rick and Morty”, or even “Community” for that matter, but still, the man isn’t exactly the kind to play it safe. This is the sort of joke that’s guaranteed to go over the head of pretty much every kid in the audience, but we suspect the parents who caught it choked on their popcorn or soda. “Monster House” is a solid, fun and often intelligent film, but this reference to the female anatomy was a risky inclusion.

#7: Performance Issues
“Space Jam” (1996)

Apparently in the world of “Space Jam”, talent is like energy. It can’t just be created out of nothing. And so in order to win this epic high stakes basketball game, the Monstars steal the talent of professional b-ballers Charles Barkley, Shawn Bradley, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson and Muggsy Bogues. Suddenly without the skills that made them stars, the players undergo a battery of physical and mental exams in this funny montage. The filmmakers managed to slide an adult joke into the mix when one doctor asks a players if he’s had other performance issues. Not cool Doc!

#6: Mr. Potato Head Doesn’t Like to Share
“Toy Story 3” (2010)

Pixar has never shied away from slipping adult jokes into their films, and for the most part, they play well. This line however, is so crude that we really hope it was accidental. In the third Toy Story film, the villainous Lotso removes the mouth of an understandably angry Mrs. Potato Head. Jumping to his wife’s defense, Mr. Potato loudly declares that “nobody takes my wife’s mouth!” Nothing wrong with that, right? But then he follows it up with the words “except me”. Literally, he might just be saying that he steals his wife’s mouth to get some peace and quiet, but it also evokes another, pretty horrifying mental image.

#5: Sucked to Death
“The Brave Little Toaster” (1987)

This 1987 animated film had some heavy moments that likely left a lasting impression on you as a young child. The scene in the spare parts shop is horrific and the song “Worthless” comes paired with some similarly upsetting imagery. The clown ... was pure nightmare fuel. But nothing quite compares to the suicide of the air conditioner. While his explosive final moments are likely what stuck with you, he also says something rather provocative to the vacuum cleaner before making his exit. When Kirby confronts the aggressive appliance, the AC asks if Kirby is going to “suck [him] to death”. That’s an uncomfortable choice of words.

#4: The Chef with a Tiny Little . . . Something
“Ratatouille” (2007)

Another Pixar film, another joke that soars over the heads of younger viewers, while raising the eyebrows of their parents. When the bumbling and culinarily-challenged Linguini tries to come clean with Colette, he struggles to explain his situation with Remi the cooking rat. By his own admission, he’s not good with words, but boy does he ever misspeak here. He admits he has a “disturbing” secret, a “tiny little” . . . Before he can say “chef” Colette has already glanced straight down at his crotch. Owch. At least as embarrassing as the moment is, it’s not as gross as what Chef Skinner seems to be suggesting with this line about intimacy and vegetables.

#3: Diaper Humor
“The Rugrats Movie” (1998)

In a list of all the places we didn’t expect to come across a circumcision joke, the 1998 Rugrats movie would be pretty high up there. But there it is nonetheless. In this musical number, a newborn baby is disappointed and outraged that he’s had his umbilical cord cut . . . but another newborn in the room looks down his own diaper and tells the first baby to consider himself fortunate. There’s nothing subtle about this reference, and we can’t help but wonder what kids made of it when they watched the scene.

#2: Nice Headlights
“Cars” (2006)

Alright, we can see how this was a tempting joke to make . . . even though it’s totally inappropriate. After a big race, rookie Lightning McQueen is bathing in the attention of the fans and cameras, when two gushing young girl cars burst through the crowd and introduce themselves as Mia and Tia. They’re his biggest fans, so what do they do? Pop up their headlights - and FLASH him. Get it? The arrogant McQueen is in heaven . . . but we’re guessing this one might have elicited more groans from the parents than laughs.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions

Honeymoon Earthquake
“Aladdin and the King of Thieves” (1996)

A Leggy “Hooker” Toy
“Toy Story” (1995)

Pitching a Tent (so to speak)
“The Emperor's New Groove” (2000)

#1: Buzz Experiences Involuntary Wing Spring
“Toy Story 2” (1999)

There are lot of ways to show that characters in a kids’ movie are attracted to one another. After all, romance and attraction are perfectly natural. But this scene from the second Toy Story movie is more than a little brazen. When Buzz meets Jessie the Cowgirl, it’s clear that he’s into her, especially from the way he freezes when she puts her hand on his chest. But when he sees her in action, it proves too much and he “gets sprung” as shown by his wings popping out. It’s a strangely common trope in kids movies, also seen in “The Little Rascals” and arguably dating all the way back to 1942’s“Bambi”.

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