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Top 10 Musicians We Hope Never Make A Comeback

VO: Matt Campbell
Script written by George Pacheco Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it'll take a while before we feel very fond about these artists. Welcome to, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Musicians We Hope Never Make a Comeback.

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Top 10 Musicians We Hope Never Make a Comeback

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it'll take a while before we feel very fond about these artists. Welcome to, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Musicians We Hope Never Make a Comeback.
For this list, we'll be ranking the bands or artists who once saw chart success, but for one reason or another have since fallen out of favor with their audience. For the record, our intent isn't to be spiteful or mean with this list, but rather to take a lighthearted look at musicians who could be perceived as relics of their time, or one hit wonders.

#10: Lou Bega

You know it, your friends know it. Heck, even your mom knows it. It's Mambo #5," a 1999 hit from the German born pop artist Lou Bega. To be fair, the song's modern update of a Pérez Prado track from 1949 doesn't really sound like anything else released on the pop landscape during that time, and Lou Bega's performance was charismatic as hell on both the song itself as well as the accompanying video clip. Subsequent efforts failed to see comparable success to "Mambo #5," unfortunately, while many music fans simply see Lou Bega as too much of a one hit wonder to ever mount a substantial comeback onto the international scene.

 #9: Shaggy

Pop, reggae, seemed as if Shaggy could do no wrong back when he first burst onto the scene back in the nineties. The dark and handsome Jamaican with the gravelly voice may be best known for his "Boombastic" hit from 1995, but Shaggy also struck gold with his "Hot Shot" album in 2000, which featured such hit singles as "Angel," and "It Wasn't Me." Although the singer still writes, records and performs today, his profile has faded significantly in the years since his early success. Will audiences ever return to Shaggy's unique style of pop reggae fusion? Only time will tell.

#8: b4-4

Yikes, where do we start with this one? Maybe it's the cliché boy band arrangements, the ridiculous video clips like "Get Down" or those cringe-worthy clothes, haircuts and tan jobs which made b4-4 terrible. Or maybe it's the group's penchant for overblown production and studio magic that labels them a relic from the teen pop obsessed climate of the early millennium. Either way, this Canadian boy band was actually nominated for a Juno award back in 2001 in the "Best New Artist" category, so they were obviously doing something right. Fast forwarding to 2017, however? Well, some music is just better off left in the past.

#7: Ashlee Simpson

Poor Ashlee Simpson. It couldn't have been easy being caught lip-syncing on "Saturday Night Live”. Or being booed during a performance at the 2005 Orange Bowl. Or being married to Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz. Still, Jessica's little sister soldiered on in the years following some embarrassing public image snafus, even releasing a record in 2008, "Bittersweet World," which received some positive critical praise. Unfortunately, most Ashlee Simpson fans have probably left the building by this point in 2017, leaving little question as to whether there's any demand for her to mount any substantial comeback.

#6: Soulja Boy

Whether you call this next artist Soulja Boy, Young Draco or by the more unwieldy moniker of Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, there's no denying that DeAndre Cortez Way has struggled to mimic the early success he achieved after dropping his debut single, "Crank That (Soulja Boy)." Although Soulja initially found his audience thanks to some grass roots marketing on YouTube, this Chicago native hasn't exactly lit up the charts since then with any of his subsequent singles. Indeed, it was only Soulja Boy's debut LP, "" that made any marks at all upon the hip hop world, with Way's second and third album delivering comparatively dismal sales figures.

#5: Eiffel 65

Ah, trashy Europop, where would we be without you? This Italian techno act never shied away from such labels during their heyday, even choosing this term as the title for their breakthrough 1999 debut. There's not much substance to Eiffel 65's beat-driven electronic sound, with the group's music being designed primarily for the dance floor, not for pondering the meaning of life. Eiffel's 65's most recognizable hit was "Blue," a simple track which succeeded thanks mainly to its maddening earworm chorus and a bizarre, sci-fi themed music video. Eiffel 65 may still have fans in their native Italy, but we're skeptical as to whether or not the 2016 upload of new material will lead any sort of 90s techno revival.

#4: Limp Bizkit

Speaking of late 90s revivals, is there any demand for a Nu-Metal renaissance? We're not sure, but if there is, we hope Limp Bizkit arrives late to that party. This Floridian group were one of the defining artists of this 90s metal sound which embraced stripped down riffing and hip hop elements, as opposed to the genre's more traditional sounds. Time hasn't been kind to the band or their singer Fred Durst, however, with some fans seeing Limp Bizkit more as a relic than anything relevant to the metal scene of today. Sure, some younger metal bands may point to Durst and Co. as an influence, but the band's time in the spotlight seems to have come and gone.

#3: Paris Hilton

We know what you're thinking: "Wait, Paris Hilton was a musician?" And sure, we may be stretching that term a bit when discussing the famous heiress' musical career, but her single "Stars Are Blind" actually earned critical praise when it was released in 2006. Paris' decision to move into reggae, pop and R&B circles with her debut album led to it selling over 500,000 copies worldwide, a move that surprised many who thought the album was going to tank. Still, Paris hasn't exactly set the charts on fire in the years since its release making it highly unlikely she'll ever mount a musical comeback worthy of conversation.

#2: Crazy Town

Ok, we were wrong. Come back, Limp Bizkit! All is forgiven! It's hard to believe that this rap-rock act once performed on Ozzy Osbourne's successful OzzFest tour, but Crazy Town were indeed once darlings of the nineties Nu-Metal movement. This was thanks largely in part to their hit single "Butterfly," which, let's face it, isn't very heavy. Still, Crazy Town briefly managed to cross over into the heavy rock crowd before changing musical climates and the band's own personal demons took their toll. The band did return in 2015 with a new album, "The Brimstone Sluggers," but Crazy Town has yet to make standout tracks, or regain any major chart success.

Before we announce our number one pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case, dishonorable mentions!
Lindsay Lohan

Kevin Federline

Baha Men

#1: Creed

Millions of Creed fans can't be wrong, and indeed it seemed as if this heavy rock band could DO no wrong back in the late nineties. This was thanks to three multi-platinum selling LPs, sold out tours and tons of adoring fans. Nowadays, however, guitarist Mark Tremonti focuses more on his band Alter Bridge, while former vocalist Scott Stapp fronts the Art of Anarchy project This is probably for the best, as some fans view Creed as a somewhat embarrassing example of overly polished and produced hard rock just a few steps shy of where the genre would go in a few years time. Besides, does anyone really miss Stapp's on-the-nose Jesus pose? We didn't think so.

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