Top 10 Naughty But Nice Christmas Songs
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Top 10 Naughty But Nice Christmas Songs

Script written by Aaron Cameron

Top 10 Naughty But Nice Christmas Songs
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These beloved Christmas songs may play at your family gatherings every year, but they're actually pretty naughty! Just the titles alone should make you think twice. “Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney”? What Chimney… “Trim Your Tree”? Hmm, maybe it is the literal Christmas tree being talked about in the song or maybe something dirtier. How about “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin” by Albert King? What kind of lovin, Santa?! In this countdown we take a look at the Top 10 Naughty but Nice Christmas Songs!

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Top 10 Naughty but Nice Christmas Songs

Sometimes being bad is the only way to be good. Welcome to MsMojo and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the top 10 Naughty but Nice Christmas Songs.
For this list, we’re looking at those Christmas songs that may not be as G-rated as some of the more traditional holiday tunes.

#10: “All I Want for Christmas is You” (1994)
Mariah Carey

Mariah doesn't want much for Christmas, and with the 50 mil this classic has earned in the decades since its release she certainly got a lot more than she asked for. Coy, sweet, sultry, and making good use of her five octave range, Mariah just wants you for Christmas. Sure, she probably had a particular “you” in mind, but what is Christmas if not a time to dream? Carey has revisited the song a couple times since 1994, most notably a remix in 2000 and a 2011 duet with Justin Bieber but it's the original that has us hanging our stockings by the mantle with care. Although seen as a risky release by her label, the track has gone down as an instant Christmas classic, in large part due to Mariah's saucy but not too saucy wish list.

#9: “Merry Christmas Baby” (1947)
Johnny Moore's Three Blazers

First written, recorded, and released by Johnny Moore, “Merry Christmas Baby” has been a naughty alternative to “Silent Night” since 1947. It’s been covered by everyone from the likes of Bruce Springsteen to Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson to Elvis Presley, but regardless of who sings it “Merry Christmas Baby” is bound to give you a tingle in the tinsel. Ditching the milk and cookies for more grown-up festivities, our narrator plans to make full and proper use of company and mistletoe. Pick your favourite version, dim the lights and you have the perfect Christmas soundtrack for an intimate sleigh ride for two.

#8: “Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney” (1950)
Ella Fitzgerald

Just how racy is this Christmas ditty? It's so racy that the Queen of Jazz herself prevented it from ever being reissued during her life time. Recorded on a Tuesday in September, 1950 and released on 78 rpm single for Christmas that year “Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney” was notably absent from Fitzgerald's 1960 album Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas and only saw a re-release after her death in 1996. But why? Well, it's quite possible it wasn't a “chimney” his roly-poly-fat-and-roundness was stuck in... Ella's reservations aside, it's a cute and flirty little thing with just the right amount of sugar and spice.

#7: “Santa Claus is Back in Town” (1957)
Elvis Presley

Well aren't you in a festive mood, Mr Presley! Coming off the imaginatively titled Elvis' Christmas Album- the biggest selling Christmas album of all time, mind you- “Santa Claus is Back in Town” may very well be the most sexually charged song to be released to the 1950s mainstream. Sure, it mentions all your traditional holiday touchstones- snow, reindeer, sleighs- but whatever Elvis has in mind you can rest assured it isn't season's greetings and eggnog. When the King croons to “hang up your pretty stockings and turn off the light” you know it won't be your sock that gets stuffed, and as for your chimney... just pray he doesn't get stuck.

#6: “Trim Your Tree” (1954)
Jimmy Butler

Released by Jimmy Butler in 1954, this jump blues take on Christmas leaves very little to the imagination. Okay, sure, at first glance maybe Jimmy just wants to decorate your tree, and sure it's possible his “hatchet” is just a small axe, butwhat about his “beautiful Christmas balls”? Or when he hangs mistletoe on your wall... okay, fair enough that's probably just mistletoe, but when he sprinkles snow up on your tree? Just be happy it wasn't down your chimney... for once.

#5: “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'” (1974)
Albert King

Unlike some of the carollers on our list today, Albert King straight up tells us what he's looking for. But what King lacks in sly metaphor he more than makes up for with slick and sweaty guitar work and a swanky, greasy, pulsing band that somehow makes sleigh bells sound suggestive. In a move that separates him from the pack, King does seem to be putting others first and even acknowledges that Christmas is for the kids but he's just too tempted by what Mrs Claus has got going on in the kitchen to focus on bicycle assembly. Oh yeah, and while we’re still on the topic, can George Clooney get some lovin’ too?

#4: “I'll Be Your Santa, Baby” (1973)
Rufus Thomas

Eventually included on the same Stax compilation album as Albert King's “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'” “I'll Be Your Santa, Baby” is just as swanky and offers a bit more of the Yuletide play-by-play. Known as the world's oldest teenager, Thomas lays out all his juvenile urges but sells it with his ultra-confidant delivery. Don't expect him to throw out the tree on January 5th though as Rufus plans to not only keep Christmas going well into the New Year but all the way 'til 1984, which, seeing as this song came out in 1973, is impressive to say the least.

#3: “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” (1952)
Jimmy Boyd

First recorded by 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd this is either the tale of a very happy marriage or one in serious trouble. Written for a Saks Fifth Avenue ad campaign, most adults see past the faux-adultery and voyeurism and settle on the cuteness... but that didn't stop the Catholic Church from condemning the song when it was first released. Santa or not, the church didn't approve of Christmas mixed in with something as scandalous as locking lips. Later covered by the likes of the Ronettes, the Jackson 5, and John Mellencamp, it's usually the John Mellencamp version rather than Little Jimmy Boyd's that comes to mind for most- perhaps because the song's subdued sexuality is a whole lot less icky coming from a grown man.

#2: “Baby, It's Cold Outside” (1949)
The Neptune's Daughter Soundtrack

Okay... so this song probably sends a… different vibe today than it was meant to. Written in 1944 by Frank Loesser as a party piece for he and his wife, Lynn Garland, the song first hit the masses in 1949 when it was featured prominently in the film “Neptune's Daughter”. There it was performed not once but twice- first with Esther Williams and Ricardo Montalban and again- with a gender reversal- by Red Skelton and Betty Garrett, which netted it an Oscar. Typically, although not always, presented as a man trying to convince his date to stay the night, the song is a ready to go template of steamy flirtations for the oddest pairing of singers- from Michael Buble and Idina Menzel to... Michael Buble and Anne Murray.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honourable mentions.

“The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)” (1995)
Luther Vandross

“Christmas Tree” (2008)
Lady Gaga feat. Space Cowboy

“Let it Snow” (1993)
Boyz II Men feat. Brian McKnight

#1: “Santa Baby” (1953)
Eartha Kitt

Written by Joan Javits and recorded by Eartha Kitt in 1953 and '63, “Santa Baby” sees a much needed shift in the gender power balance. Rather than Santa arriving and announcing his needs, our heroine steps up with a big-ticket wish list of her own. From furs and rings to yachts, a new house, and a convertible, Christmas Eve with Mrs Kitt seems like it's sure to break the bank but it's actually a trade off for a year's worth of loyalty and best behaviour, and after all, you can't put a price on devotion. Delivered in her breathy and flirty style Kitt's version has pretty tall heels to fill, although many- from Madonna to Kylie Minogue- have tried.

Do you agree with our list? What’s your favourite Naughty but Nice Christmas Songs? For more tinsel-lating Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to MsMojo.