Top 10 Video Game Dumbasses

Credits: Dan Paradis Dave Thibault
Script Written by Alex Crilly McKean They can be annoying or adorable, but every one of them is as thick as a brick. Join WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Video Game Dumbasses. For this list we are looking at the characters that are known across the gaming community as morons, regardless of their moral compass! We’re focusing on characters that were intentionally designed to be stupid, as opposed to those that were really poorly written, or are just hated by the internet as a whole. Special thanks to our user governmentfree for submitting the idea on our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest
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Transcript
Script Written by Alex Crilly McKean

Top 10 Video Game Dumbasses


They can be annoying or adorable, but every one of them is as thick as a brick. Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we are counting down the top ten video game dumbasses!

For this list we are looking at the characters that are known across the gaming community as morons, regardless of their moral compass! We’re focusing on characters that were intentionally designed to be stupid, as opposed to those that were really poorly written, or are just hated by the internet as a whole.

#10: Taokaka

“Blazblue” series (2008-)

She may not be the smartest kitten in the litter, but by god is she cute! As part of the Kaka Clan, this half-cat warrior only has one mission, to seek out the infamous criminal known as Ragna the Bloodedge and collect his astronomical bounty to find a better home for her people. The only problem is she doesn’t recognize him…despite the fact she often travels with him. She’s a lethal fighter and the cutest thing to ever wear a hood with kitty ears, but definitely not the brightest bulb.

#9: Big the Cat
“Sonic the Hedgehog” series (1998-)

One the new characters introduced in Sonic’s first big 3D outing, Big was designed to be this new lovable aloof. Problem is lovable he was not. When his best friend “Froggy” runs off, obviously Big’s first instinct is to impale his friend with a hook and fish him out of wherever he’s swimming and minding his own business. To be fair though, Big probably wouldn’t have garnered so much hate, if it weren’t for the fact that his fishing game caused much frustration amongst gamers, especially with incredible freak-out’s like this.

#8: Dan Hibiki

“Street Fighter” series (1987-)

…Oh Dan, you are so pathetically entertaining it’s a marvel to watch. A parody of the series iconic characters, Dan Hibiki believes himself to be the best fighter in the world and…he really, really isn’t. Arrogant and overconfident with a whole bunch of cowardice thrown in, you would think after getting his ass kicked so many times he would know when to quit. But his stupidity persists to the point where he even tried to open his own martial arts school. No surprise, it failed. Much like Dan himself.

#7: Conrad Verner

“Mass Effect” series (2007-)

Fanboys can range from humble to extreme, guess which category Conrad fits into. Commander Shepard’s biggest fan, who has a romanticized view of what being a Spectre can be, he asks Shepard to give him a helping hand. If the player is courteous to him, he’ll continue to show up in future games, continuing to impersonate a Spectre to an increasingly uncomfortable and annoying level, or the player can be dismissive of him by shooting him in the foot. But, if you are patient with Conrad and continue your interacts with him until the end of the trilogy he may just surprise.

#6: Dick Gumshoe

“Ace Attorney” series (2001-)

While we would be relieved to see Dan Hibiki retire, we can’t help but cheer for this goofball every time we see his happy mug and hope he never quits! A detective and ally of Phoenix Wright, while he may be lacking in grittiness, restraint and is ruled by his huge heart rather than logic, he’s an underdog that you can’t help but side with no matter how badly he messes up. Plus it makes the times he saves the day all the more spectacular! Hang in there you big, dumb bag of awesome!

#5: Junpei Iori

“Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3” (2006)

Yosuke may have been a contender, but our vote had to go to the loudmouth doofus who is holding a lot of pain inside. Prone to blurting out whatever comes into his head and being a little sleazy on the side, Junpei keeps his wisecracking attitude constant as to not expose both the anger and depression of having an alcoholic father. While in time he slowly starts to become more comfortable in his own skin, you can be sure when he opens his mouth a whole string of dumb outbursts are soon to follow.

#4: Johnny Sasaki

“Metal Gear Solid” series (1998)

In a future where modern soldiers are more machine than man, you have Johnny. Part of the team sent to help Snake in his mission to destroy the Patriots and Liquid Ocelot, this soldier is easily startled and prone to an upset stomach. And yes, he does crap himself during the mission. While he may have been dumb enough to not inject himself with nano-machines due to a fear of needles, he actually turns out to be a badass in disguise. Anyone who can take as many bullets as him and then go on to marry Meryl has to be given some props. Even if he’s still and joker and a dumbass at heart.

#3: Wheatley

“Portal 2” (2011)

Wheatley’s story is most certainly a sad one. Born to be nothing more than a robotic tumour so that the tyrannically twisted GLaDOS could be controlled, he was literally made to be the stupidest thing in existence. He certainly lives up to this due to the excellent dialogue performed by Stephen Merchant, and for the first half of the game it’s rather charming and funny. Until GLaDOS is dethroned and he end up taking control of the facility, which is when stupid becomes pretty damn dangerous!

#2: Brucie Kibbutz

“Grand Theft Auto IV” (2008)

It took a while but we finally reached one of the most famous of dumbasses, the fitness obsessed, steroid abusing, douche who lives to get laid. Except this one we sort of like just for how damn funny he is! Through Niko’s misadventures in Liberty City, Brucie is always there to remind us about his abs, sex life and just how much of a beast he is. Of course he owes the abs to steroid abuse and we’re pretty sure he’s dealing with some internal conflict when it comes to his sexuality. You can only argue with yourself for so long Brucie…

Before we reveal our number on dumbass here are few honourable mentions!

Groose
“The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword” (2011)

Papyrus
“Undertale” (2015)

Slippy the Toad
“Star Fox” series (1993-)

The Rabbids
“Raving Rabbids” series (2006-)

#1: Captain Qwark

“Ratchet and Clank” series (2002-)

He is considered the galaxy’s greatest hero, when he is actually the biggest idiot in it. With an ego that could fill a star system, Qwark will do anything for publicity and fame, and despite his legendary status and bravado, none are more cowardly than him. He can be funny in his utter idiocy, but what places him as our number one is how someone can be so stupid to switch alignments and even fake their own death without any thought of consequence. Love him for his buffoonery or hate him for his betrayals, Captain Qwark is the ultimate dumbass the universe could ever produce.

Do you agree with our list? Who is your favourite dumbass in video games? With new top tens published every day be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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