Top 5 Myths About Masturbation

Top 5 Myths About Masturbation

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Please keep both hands on the keyboard for the duration of this video. Welcome to WatchMojo’s Top 5 Myths, the series that finds the biggest myths people actually believe and dispels them one by one. In this installment, we’ll be looking at 5 myths about wanking that had us Beating our mea---uhh---myths?

If these Wives’ Tales permeated by parents and religious officials were true, the overwhelming majority of us would be blind, and have hairy palms akin to that of a wolf man. Dispelling this myth may come as no surprise to any viewer with an elementary knowledge of human biology, nonetheless, it’s fascinating to explore its origins. There was a strong push against self-pleasure in the 1700s with many so-called scientists advertising untrue yet terrifying adverse effects. Author Joseph Cam for example wrote in his 1729 book that masturbating causes “The appetite to fail, legs swell, and blindness to ensue.” Miscommunication also aided in its creation; with the bible stating that “When your heart is not pure, and you turn in on yourself and will be unable to see God or grace in your life. Consequently, you will become spiritually blind.” Miscommunication, hyperbole, and fear tactics together resulted in countless terrified teenagers just seeking a safe passage through puberty.

Careful how many times you crank one out fellas; there’s only a limited supply of ammo before the chamber runs out. Right? On the contrary, there is absolutely no science behind this myth that conversely may have those looking to start a family “saving up” for the big event. The life span of sperm in a man’s unmentionables is about 74 days. Whether it is expelled or not, these eager little reproductive cells will cease to be useful upon reaching their expiration date. Another way of looking at this is comparing sperm reproduction to hair follicles. Men will oftentimes experience baldness at a point in their lives, but until then, no amount of trips to the barbershop will limit hair regrowth. In short, don’t let sperm count be a factor in whether or not you decide to tame the serpent.

#3: Everybody Masturbates

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The old adage that 98% of people masturbate and the other 2% are lying may in fact be misleading. A 2007 study found that 61% of men ages 18 to 60 had masturbated in the past year while a 2010 study suggested those numbers should be somewhere in between the 70 to 80 percentile range. Countless studies such as these have been done; many with varying results. Response bias, embarrassment, and guilt all factor in, as well as the perceived social norm for different demographics. There’s still no way to be certain that a stranger’s hand is sterile when they go in for a shake, but hey… your chances may be better than you think.

Despite nicknames like beating the meat and flogging the dolphin, masturbating the correct way shouldn’t negatively affect an individual’s genitals in the long run. Those among us who are well-versed in Urban Dictionary may be familiar with a phenomenon known as Death Grip Syndrome; “a condition in which frequent masturbation by hand desensitizes the nerves in the penis, thus lessening the pleasure of jerking off.” Rest assured, this is not a thing! Keep in mind if you were to eat chocolate sundaes three times a day, the enjoyment of each helping would marginally decrease as time went on. The same applies here; just wait a few weeks before eating chocolate sundaes again and it will once again taste wonderful! The jury’s still out on “Wanker’s Cramp” but we thank Urban Dictionary for keeping us up to date on the hard pressing medical issues of our time.

There’s no shortage of standup comedians and on-screen performances depicting a teenage or 20-something male spankin’ the monkey, but lo and behold, this is a habit fit for all sorts of demographics. One study suggests that 40% of men in relationships still masturbate. Let’s not forget about the ladies either; with one study estimating that over half of women in their mid to late twenties have masturbated in the past month. There’s one demographic we’ve yet to acknowledge, but we’ll assume you have the stomach for since you’ve kept with us thus far; the elderly. Masturbation is still quite prominent up through an individual’s late 50s, but more surprisingly; research suggests that 14% of men and 5% of women over 70 still masturbate weekly. We apologize for the mental image; just make sure to knock next time you visit the retirement home. So how many of these myths did you believe? This is what Google searchers look for when whacking the willy. Does masturbation cause hair loss? does masturbating kill brain cells? Why masturbation is wrong? For more meat beating top 10s and muffin buffin’ Top 5s, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.