Top 10 Unintentionally Funny Twilight Quotes
#10: “Stop Trying to Take Your Clothes Off” “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (2010)
Bella wants Edward to turn her into a vampire, which he’ll only do if they get married. While in his room, she decides to add a new, more intimate, layer to the potential compromise. Things get steamy, until he protests in the most serious yet hilarious of ways, though she doesn’t actually understand what he’s saying. We’re mortified for Bella, but also can’t help but chuckle at the admittedly serious moment. And the laughs don’t stop there, as we’re then treated to Edward’s very intense explanation. Look, we’re certainly not here to judge his values. We’re just saying that he’s a 100+ year old man dating a teenager, so it’s amusing to see him draw the line here.
#9: “Is She Even Italian?” “Twilight” (2008)
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Meeting your boyfriend’s family can be stressful under the simplest of circumstances. Luckily for Bella, most of the Cullens are eager to make a good impression. They’re even shown cooking for her. Rosalie, however, is less than enthusiastic about the whole affair. She questions the choice of cuisine, prompting a deadpan reply from Emmett. If you were to read this interaction on a page, you might think it’s meant to be a joke. Yet the scene is incredibly tense, and sounds more like a budding argument than anything else. You can tell Rosalie’s in a mood, and Emmett really believes in his own reasoning, which makes the whole thing extra entertaining.
#8: “So the Lion Fell in Love With the Lamb” “Twilight” (2008)
It’s safe to say that nowadays, many of us see “The Twilight Saga” in a different light, finding humor in new places. But when the first film was released in 2008, a sort of frenzy washed over audiences, and many became instantly enamored with Edward and Bella’s relationship. Perhaps no quote was more beloved by fans than this one. The metaphor, of course, is supposed to represent the vastly different worlds the pair come from. He’s a strong vampire, while she’s an awkward teenage girl. It’s intended to be a deep, romantic statement, but it’s really more absurd than anything else. You know what they say, hindsight is 20/20…
#7: “Say It. Out Loud” “Twilight” (2008)
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Leave it to Edward and Bella to take a moment that’s supposed to be climactic and accidentally make it laughable. They duo are standing in the woods, and the vibe is supposed to be super ominous and spooky. Bella proceeds to describe Edward’s unusual attributes and asks him about his age, before shakily claiming that she’s figured him out. He insists on hearing her proclaim it, and she obliges. In this case, it’s not so much what Edward says, but rather how vehemently he says it. Bella’s nervous delivery of the “v” word is pretty humorous, too. It’s all insanely over-the-top, and we can’t take it seriously. Judging by all those Internet parodies, we’re not the only ones.
#6: “About Three Things I Was Absolutely Positive…” “Twilight” (2008)
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Bella never really seems to care about the fact that Edward Cullen is quite literally capable of killing her. It’s basically a non-issue for her, which yields some pretty comical results. The most revealing — and farcical – quote comes in the shape of one of her voice overs. We just have one very important question for her: how do numbers one and two not cancel number three out?! You have to admire her commitment to pretending like what she’s saying isn’t completely off the wall. But we simply have to laugh at how illogical she’s being, because otherwise we’ll have no choice but to cry!
#5: “You Better Hold on Tight, Spider Monkey” “Twilight” (2008)
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After Edward and Bella start dating, he takes her to his house. We’ve touched on the familial side of it, but the couple’s private moments are no less noteworthy. They head to his room, after which he decides to take her on a little ride into the trees, vampire style. Before beginning the climb, he utters these now infamous words. This is supposed to be a flirty line. But unlike Bella, we’re not giggling because it’s endearing. We’re wheezing because Edward somehow thinks it’s cute to call his girlfriend that. He’s not the only one with a penchant for the creatures, either. We’re not sure what that’s about, but we’ll happily take the chuckles these nicknames so generously provide!
#4: “But It’s You, Your Scent…” “Twilight” (2008)
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We all remember how Edward reacted when Bella first walked into that classroom. And as he explains his family’s unique dietary habits, we gain some insight into why exactly his face did, well, whatever that was. Bella’s scent isn’t just good – no, it’s much more addictive than that. This is such an oddly specific statement, and an absolutely unhinged thing to say to anyone, let alone somebody you have feelings for. We’re honestly not sure how she doesn’t immediately start giggling! We certainly do everytime we hear him utter the words. You could even say it’s like our own “personal brand” of humor.
#3: “This Is the Skin of a Killer” “Twilight” (2008)
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They say actions speak louder than words, and we see how true that is when Edward shows Bella what being a vampire entails. From the way he insists on showing her what effect sunlight has on his people, you’d expect him to turn into a monster. But it’s quite the opposite. As he sparkles, he insists that it’s an appalling sight. We’re sorry, we know he means it. But he’s so shiny and pretty that it’s impossible not to burst out laughing. And he just keeps trying to convince Bella that he’s dangerous. Who could resist the urge to chortle at this not-so-humble brag? Edward’s desperately trying to convey how terrifying vampires are, but we’re starting to think he should be a stand-up comic.
#2: “You Nicknamed My Daughter After the Loch Ness Monster?!” “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” (2012)
Though Bella’s journey to becoming a vampire isn’t easy or straightforward by any means, the final “Twilight” film sees her finally transformed. And now, she has a daughter named Renesmee, too. It’s all going swimmingly, until she finds out that Jacob imprinted on her child. Naturally, she’s furious. But as if that wasn’t bad enough on its own, she then learns that he has a rather special nickname for the baby. Let’s just say she’s not a fan. The absurd content and fuming delivery of this quote come together perfectly, and the result is side-splittingly funny. It’s a priceless piece of pure comedy that simply never gets old. It’s no wonder “Twilight” fans know the moment by heart!
#1: “Bella! Where the Hell Have You Been, Loca?” “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (2009)
If you’ve been on social media these days, you probably know exactly what this line is all about. The moment is quick, and really shouldn’t be anything memorable. After all, it’s just Jacob welcoming Bella. Yet it has emerged as one of the funniest quotes in the whole series, which is really saying something. Why call her loca?! Why say any of it, especially with that inflection? Of all the different greetings out there, Jacob picks the wildest one. We get that he’s excited, but he could have just said “hi” like a normal person. We’re really glad he didn’t though, because now we can watch the hysterical moment on a loop and cackle whenever we’re feeling down!
