Top 10 Nostalgic British TV Adverts

#10: Sheilas’ Wheels

If there’s one thing the Aussies do well, it’s car insurance. Well, that’s the impression you get from these ads, anyway, taking advantage of Brits’ love of our neighbours Down Under. You just can’t help but trust that the Sheilas really ARE giving you a great deal. For years, they marketed exclusively to women, giving them better premiums than men – until the EU got involved and passed some new laws about gender discrimination. Sheilas’ Wheels hasn’t died, though; you won’t pay more on insurance if you’re a man, but their aggressively pink marketing has ensured they still have hundreds of thousands of female customers. And if you don’t drive, don’t worry! They do home insurance, too.

#9: Cillit Bang

He’s still flogging Cillit Bang to this day, but this campaign began in the noughties as one of the most memorable cleaning ads of all time. Fronted by Barry Scott – who’s actually a character played by actor Neil Burgess – he tells you everything you need to know about the awesome power of Cillit Bang, which will eradicate limescale from your home. He does it all while shouting and then demonstrates his famous “penny test”, cleaning a copper penny of grime in just fifteen seconds. However, it’s bad news for Barry: the Advertising Standards Authority later ruled that the “penny test” was misleading, and it actually can’t do that. But now how are we supposed to clean our dirty old pennies!?

#8: Scary Mary

We’ve all been there, paying too much on a phone contract for bells and whistles we probably don’t need and not knowing what to do about it. Never fear, because Phones 4u is on the case, though we think the complicated hand gesture is a bit more memorable than any actual deals. Unfortunately, these deals are all dead and gone; Phones 4u went out of business in 2014, with its physical shops divided between EE and Vodafone. That’s fitting, considering in the last few years of the brand’s life, all of its ads were about ghosts and zombies. But arguably, it IS harder to get a solid deal on phones now all the providers have merged together.

#7: Autoglass

Unsurprisingly, Autoglass still uses this iconic jingle in its ads, but it first emerged back in the 2000s. This classic ad features Gavin, an Autoglass technician from Birmingham, warning us that we shouldn’t let chips in our windscreen languish because they’re only going to get worse. Better yet, if you call Autoglass, they’ll usually fix the chip for free, WITHOUT losing your no claims bonus! One thing’s for sure, though: if you do end up with a chip, you’ll definitely be hearing the tagline in your head. And if you’re from Down Under, you’re probably also familiar, because there’s an almost identical Australian version.

#6: Go.Compare

The annoying ad to end annoying ads, it seems that nobody liked Gio Compario from the moment he burst onto screens in 2009. Focusing on two blokes just trying to catch up over coffee, they’re besieged by Gio as soon as the topic of car insurance comes up. There was a whole series of these ads, all playing on how even back then, people were annoyed by Gio. Then there was a new series, where celebrities, including Sue Barker, tried to assassinate him. In the battle of singing insurance mascots, we certainly prefer The Sheilas to Wynne Evans. Why haven’t THEY done “Strictly” yet?

#5: Crusha

Made by the same animator who did the Quiznos Spongmonkeys ads in the US – which means nothing to Brits because we don’t really have Quiznos here, but there you go – these surreal adverts show kittens in various situations. In the first one, we have an entire band of kittens playing musical instruments while singing about their love of Crusha, a milkshake syrup, in strong, Yorkshire accents. Later, there was one where they’re all in a gym. An internet rumour says that the advert was banned because somebody tried to replicate it with real cats, but we think this is an online hoax; if you know better, though, drop a comment.

#4: You Know When You’ve Been Tango’d

We’re reaching into the 90s now for the beginning of this iconic Tango campaign, which went on for years. The very first one actually WAS banned because it supposedly led to an increase in happy slapping at UK schools, with people “Tango’ing” their friends left, right, and centre. It wasn’t the end of the tagline, though, with the noughties seeing this even more bizarre ad for Apple Tango. There’s a man suspended from the ceiling about to drop into a bath full of Tango. It’s the only way to visually represent the tangy taste of Tango, apparently. But like other dangerous Tango adverts, don’t try this at home.

#3: We Buy Any Car

Another infuriating jingle, you’re probably glad you haven’t heard this in a while. Well, sorry for breaking your streak by showing you the original advert used to promote the website from its launch in 2006. If you’ve used the site, you’ll know that they’ve never even changed their logo other than dropping “dot com”. They’ll also buy your damaged car – even write-offs, so they claim. The song certainly guarantees that if you’re in a hurry to try and sell your car, you WILL think of them first, whether you want to or not. And if you’re being honest, you probably don’t. It was such a ubiquitous ad that they parodied it on “Horrible Histories”.

#2: “Eyebrows”

Before Cadbury was acquired by the Americans, it was proper chocolate, with proper adverts, like whatever this is. Yes, in truth, Cadbury adverts were, for years, distinctly lacking in chocolate, getting by purely on you recognising the distinct shade of purple it uses in all of its branding. What eyebrows and balloons actually have to do with chocolate is anybody’s guess, but it did go as viral as something could back then. It seems to imply that if you eat Cadbury’s, you’ll be having as much fun as these two – but they do have awfully flat expressions, eyebrows notwithstanding. The gorilla at the drum kit was definitely enjoying himself more.

#1: “Cake”

Far from being memorable because it’s irritating, this Skoda Fabia advert is genuinely inventive – arguably art in marketing. Featuring the vocals of Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music”, we see an army of artisanal bakers put together a cake creation like no other. The first time you see it, you don’t realise until at least halfway in that they’re trying to sell you a car rather than a cake, and it might still leave you craving something sweet before you go out and buy yourself a Fabia. Maybe it’ll make you want to rewatch “The Sound of Music”, too. Still, it’s bold of them to not even show you the actual car, just the cake version – apparently it DID improve sales, though.

Let us know your favourite ads from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and whether you want to see us do some follow-ups!