Top 10 Best The Office One Liners

#10: If You Like Top Trumps, You Should Come To Me

In series 2, Wernham Hogg hosts a party for Trudy’s birthday. This leads to an onslaught of awkward moments, especially when Gareth and Tim are competing for Rachel’s affections. Well, it’s mainly when Gareth gets involved that things get painful, especially when he brings up Top Trumps. It’s a bit on the long side for a one-liner, but Gareth’s excessively long explanation is the main reason it’s so funny. If you ever worry you’re not great at flirting, just compare yourself to Gareth, and you’ll look like the Fonzie, as long as you didn’t spend ages bragging about your Top Trumps skills.

#9: Morale

Every interaction between David and Jennifer is as cringeworthy as they are funny. In the second episode, he lies to his staff about the likelihood of redundancies. When Jennifer hears this, she’s understandably perplexed, as they will be laying off a few staff members. In David’s defence, he thinks it’s good for morale, but Jennifer argues otherwise. His final line of reasoning is one of many examples of why David is such an incompetent boss. To the surprise of no one, the staff do remember, making for a riotous conclusion when it all blows up in his face.

#8: There’s Your Racist For You

Series 2 kicks off with an episode that’s comedy gold, with the Swindon and Slough branches of Wernham Hogg getting merged. The new staff have a difficult time settling in, mainly on account of David being as painfully awkward as always. Things grow tense when he makes a fairly racist joke, but it gets even worse when he’s criticised for it. To save face, he goes on a long-winded rant to defend himself, which only digs himself deeper into the hole. It concludes with him dropping this amazingly out of touch line, then walking away proudly as if he’d just given the most progressive speech since Martin Luther King Jr.

#7: Slough's A Big Place

David Brent has an ego so big we wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he ruled the world. Despite his self-proclaimed talents, he’s stuck in Swindon working for a stationery company. You might think this isn’t what he dreamed of, but this quote proves otherwise. It also shows us he thinks he’s huge outside of Slough, but his world only seems to extend to a few towns west of London. As you can expect, this is definitely an exaggeration, as proven by his disastrous escapades in the later movie, “Life on the Road.”

#6: If I Crash-Land In A Jungle, Will I Be Able To Eat My Shoes?

For many people, the show peaks every time Tim and Dawn decide to take the mick out of Gareth. It’s tough to pick just one prank as our favourite, ranking them all could justify its own video. One of the greatest comes when Tim tries to guess what Gareth is thinking. While his guesses are fantastic, it’s what Gareth is truly thinking that takes the cake. Over two decades later, we’re sad to say that the answer will probably always be no. Hopefully, the reverse never comes true either, because a shark that can run faster than a human would be horrifying.

#5: Dolly Parton

In series 2, the episode “Motivation” centres around David Brent being hired as a motivational speaker. It’s a beyond bizarre decision, as proven by how disastrously it goes. A couple of episodes later, we get even more evidence for why that was a bad idea. Brent makes a marginally profound philosophical quote, then makes himself look foolish by revealing his source. Well, we’re being a bit too harsh there, as it’s one of the most intelligent things he’s said. That’s likely because he chats so much rubbish that the bar isn’t even above sea level.

#4: Fanny Packs

It’s tough to pick one favourite “The Office” character, but for many fans, Keith stands out the most. He doesn’t say much, but when he does it’s comedy gold. Most of his defining moments take place in the break room, where he’s often munching on scotch eggs and making terrible small talk with Dawn or Tim. In the episode “Charity”, he discusses Dawn’s holiday to America with her, then gives her this piece of random advice, and then tops it off with this classic line. Also, the fact that he’s dressed like Ali G makes it even harder to watch while keeping a straight face.

#3: John Lennon

We’ve finally made it to a quote from Tim, played by the talented Martin Freeman. It comes from the final episode of series one, “Judgement.” With redundancies looming, Tim doesn’t seem too upset at the idea of losing his job. Instead, he’s eager to get away from the soul-sucking stationary company. He tries to comfort himself with this profound John Lennon quote, but instantly fails at making himself happier. It’s a perfect example of why Tim is so beloved; he tries his best to be optimistic, but the monotony of the working world keeps getting in the way, something most of us can relate to.

#2: Gareth's Not Homophobic

We have a love-hate relationship with Gareth’s bizarre, often unusually offensive, tangents. The humour primarily comes from the exceedingly cringe moments, and Gareth is arguably the peak of cringe comedy, up there with David. One of his most infamous moments is his long winded way of defending himself from being homophobic. While his heart was mostly in the right place, he tops it off by using a slur to refer to all his favorite LGBTQ+ artists. Like all of his military quotes, they become even funnier when you remember he was only in the Territorial Army, but acts like he wasn’t.

#1: Under Weaknesses - You've Put Eczema...

Taking our top spot is a line from what we consider to be the greatest Keith scene in the entire series. In the series 2 episode “Appraisals”, he fills out a form for David explaining why he should keep his job. It’s one of the funniest moments in not only the whole show, but in the history of British comedy. It wouldn’t have worked so well if not for the talents of Keith’s actor, Ewan MacIntosh. Sadly, the TV legend passed away in 2024, but his contributions to comedy will be fondly remembered by us all forever.

What’s your favourite line from the British “The Office”, and did it make it into our top 10? Let us know in the comments below!