Top 10 Best Monty Python One Liners
#10: He’s Not the Messiah
“Monty Python’s Life of Brian” (1979)
We’re starting things off with a line so iconic it became the name of an oratorio written by Eric Idle. In just one line, it encapsulates the film’s core themes. The film is, of course, a satire of religion, with this phrase poking fun at herd mentality and how people can blindly follow leaders. Decades later, and it still feels relevant. It’s delivered by Terry Jones in the role of Mandy, Brian’s mother. It’s tough to pick Jones’ best performance, but if we had to, Mandy would be at the top of our list.
#9: She Turned Me Into a Newt!
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)
It’s almost impossible to forget the hilarious witch trial from their medieval adventure. Basically every line from this sketch could justify being on here, but our favorite is when John Cleese claims he was turned into a salamander. Another especially memorable moment is when Cleese takes an unusually long time to say his line, which, as any Python super fan will tell you, was unscripted. It was so funny that it made its way into the final film, plus you can even see Eric Idle start chewing on his knife to stifle a giggle.
#8: You’re All Individuals
“Monty Python’s Life of Brian” (1979)
The fact that two lines from the same scene have made it on here goes to show how high-quality a moment it is. A few seconds after Mandy told Brian’s followers to buzz off, the naughty boy tries sorting it out himself. Unfortunately, they’re not more inclined to listen to him, despite him being their messiah. The comedic timing of the “I’m not” in this scene is flawless. This makes it surprising when you learn that it was actually improvised. Supposedly, some extra impulsively decided to shout it. They found it so funny that it was left in, and he was promoted to a speaking role.
#7: House?
“The Secret Policeman’s Ball” (1979)
You would be forgiven for believing the Four Yorkshiremen sketch is originally from a Monty Python production. In actuality, it originates from “At Last the 1948 Show”, which was created by Cleese and Chapman. Since then, it’s been performed at a bunch of Monty Python live shows. It’s pretty challenging to pick just one line as our favorite, with the characters constantly one-upping each other for how horrible their childhoods were. Our favorite performance was the one featuring Rowan Atkinson, a comedian we wish collaborated with the Pythons way more than he did.
#6: Wait ‘Til Biggus Dickus Hears of This
“Monty Python’s Life of Brian” (1979)
When it comes to Roman commanders, if you said your favorite was Biggus Dickus, you’re probably Michael Palin’s rendition of Pontius Pilate. The scene where his guards are desperately trying to keep their cool after mentioning his friend’s name is potentially the peak of Python. The story goes that when filming, an extra accidentally chuckled at Palin’s dialogue. Rather than cutting, he improvised, playing with the actors as Pilate and forcing them to hold back their laughter. Contrary to popular belief, it’s unlikely they were told they wouldn’t be paid if they laughed. It ended up becoming maybe the greatest piece of improv in Monty Python history.
#5: Strange Women Lying in Ponds
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)
Next, we’re going back to the Middle Ages, where King Arthur met a peasant comically well-educated on modern-day political theory. The juxtaposition between the class-conscious peasant and the king’s feudal beliefs led to pure hilarity. You may assume a peasant with ideas like this isn’t historically accurate, and to an extent, it is. Lordless communes weren’t uncommon in medieval England. Plus, in the Peasants' Revolt of 1381, some scholars criticised their era’s feudal systems. Still, they wouldn’t have used the language shown here, but it’s still interesting how much truth there is to this whimsical sketch.
#4: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” (1969-74)
As much as we’d like to make the most obvious joke imaginable, even the most casual Python fans would’ve seen this coming. It’s a recurring sketch that often sees the crew pop out of nowhere, dressed like the Spanish Inquisition. Their defining line has since become ingrained in British culture, which has been referenced in countless pieces of media since. It might be their most widely known line, as it’s sort of become an idiom in its own right. It’s so prominent online that there’s a high chance many people familiar with it have no clue who Monty Python is.
#3: It’s Just a Flesh Wound
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)
Out of all the action scenes from this classic comedy, our favorite has to be when King Arthur takes on the dreaded Black Knight. The knight guards a tiny bridge and will give his life to defend it. Well, if he could give his life, it’s implied he’s immortal, on account of dismissing losing limbs as just flesh wounds. It could easily be considered the Python’s most hilarious fight scene. You may be surprised to learn it’s based on a real medieval practice, called the passage of arms. This was where a knight blocks a path and won’t let anyone pass without a battle. Thankfully, these trends died down centuries ago. If they hadn’t, doing your weekly shop would be a nightmare.
#2: This Parrot Is No More
“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” (1969-74)
The most iconic sketch featuring no one other than Cleese and Chapman is easily the pair’s most famous. It’s been performed countless times over the years, at live shows and in their 1971 movie, “And Now for Something Completely Different.” It’s so beloved by fans and Pythons alike that Cleese referenced the sketch in a eulogy to Graham Chapman. The story behind it is also pretty interesting. It was based on a real experience between Palin and a car salesman, which then inspired a joke in the movie “How to Irritate People,” which in turn inspired this piece of comedy gold.
#1: Your Mother Was a Hamster
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)
You’re probably not a Python fan if you’ve never used this side-splitting insult yourself. Don’t give it a try when you’re genuinely angry, though, or you’ll sound like a fool. Cleese does a superb job at playing a condescending Frenchman, who has some of the funniest insults in cinema history. Turns out, it’s based on a true story. King William laid siege to the city of Exeter after his conquest in 1068, and according to historian William of Malmesbury, one of the defenders literally did fart in his general direction. Unfortunately for them, it didn’t lift the siege. Maybe if they’d catapulted more livestock over the walls, Exeter would have remained free from Norman rule.
Does one Monty Python joke stick out as your favorite, and did we include it on our list? Let us know in the comments section!
