The 20 Most INAPPROPRIATE Moments in Kids Video Games
Pokemon’s Greatest Mystery
“Pokemon Black & White” (2013)
Some Trainers you come across will make the usual smacktalk, veiled threat, or random factoid about themselves. But one Trainer in “Black & White” makes a rather suggestive joke. When she challenges you, she’ll say, “If I’m wearing a bikini, where do I put my Pokeballs? Teehee - woman’s secret!” Kids will likely entertain the idea and maybe conclude with some “Looney Tunes” logic involving mallet space. As for adults, well, we gotta ask why she’s opting for more personal spaces instead of just buying a holster or belt to hold them.
A Personal Jab at Personal Time
“Jak 3” (2005)
Say what you will about “Jak 3”, but as far as punchlines go, this game has some of the best in the trilogy. Of course, some parents may have been alarmed hearing this bit in their kids’ seemingly family-friendly game. When first meeting Kliever, he’ll brag to Jak and Daxter about how great he is at his little turret game before asking them if they want to try and beat his score. Daxter quickly interrupts with an embarrassingly stupid innuendo. Leave it to the ottsel to make the easiest joke in the moment.
Pushing the Banana Peel
“Donkey Kong 64” (1999)
Nintendo has treated Candy Kong in a very weird manner similar to how Sony treated Tawna with “Crash Bandicoot”. Candy has popped up here and there, but it often feels like Nintendo wants to stay as far away from her as possible. Perhaps it has something to do with this scene in “Donkey Kong 64”. Upon arriving, Candy greets you with some swooning music before talking about how “she’s gonna make you feel real good.” It doesn’t help that she follows this up with, “For just a few little old coins, you can have my musical instruments and my melons, too.” Rare was on some stuff back in 1999. Don’t ask too many questions.
Overcooked Furball
“Maniac Mansion” (1987)
This moment actually caused quite a stir compared to our previous entries. Back in the days of the NES, it was pretty easy to sneak in inappropriate parts of a game and ship copies unnoticed. Though Nintendo remained somewhat strict on their guidelines, LucasArts and Realtime Associates tested the waters to see just how thorough their process was. The famous “exploding hamster” portion of “Maniac Mansion” was left in the NES version, which manager Douglas Crockford had anticipated given past times where Nintendo seemed to contradict their own criteria when it came to censorship. Once the scene was discovered, Nintendo manufactured a second wave of copies that had the hamster part completely removed. Gotta keep that squeaky-clean image for the families, you know?
Too “In the Moment”
“Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia” (2006)
This RPG makes its innuendos a little too on the nose for this to go completely unnoticed. “Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia” features a rather bizarre scene that is just constant innuendo after innuendo. This entire scene is nothing but referring to inserting a “life extending agent” into Aurica’s backside and talking about how painful this three-month-long process is for Aurica. Though the voice acting sounds somewhat innocent (and also just awful in terms of performance), this scene feels like we just watched a reenactment of an abysmal sci-fi romance fanfic. Please, let’s just move on before I have to talk about this any further…
Sneaky, Dirty Pages
“Secret of Mana” (1993)
Now, this one is admittedly a bit easy to miss, especially if you were playing this on a CRT like most of us were back in the 90’s. When you use the spellbook, the book will play an animation before showing runes and text glowing and, sometimes, a cute face. But there is a rare chance for the book to show something more...explicit. Every so often, you may catch the book accidentally flipping to a page showing a naked woman with a heart on it. Before you ask, no, it is not in the remake.
Peach’s Peachy Toy
“Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars” (1996)
Of course, the lewdness does not end here. We’re far from done with these kinds of moments. Shockingly, Nintendo and Square Enix took part in the cheeky behavior with “Super Mario RPG”. While Peach is in there, intrude and begin rummaging around her room. Check next to the fireplace to find an item called “Peach’s ???”. You will then be scolded by the princess herself and told to put the item back. We’d say what item we suspect it is, but Big Daddy YouTube wouldn’t be super happy with us.
Baz Would Be Proud
“Crash TwinSanity” (2004)
“Crash TwinSanity” definitely has some unhinged jokes for better and for worse. There are plenty of instances that are hilarious like when Crash gets the idea to use Cortex for a snowboard. But then, you have moments like what happens afterwards midway into said level. Crash and Cortex manage to make their way into a random nightclub called “Moulin Cortex”. This is a reference to the 2001 musical romance movie “Moulin Rouge”, which is known to be a very sexual and flirtatious film. Not exactly a family-friendly movie to reference here.
SnakeBot’s Guilty Pleasure
“Astro Bot” (2024)
We all know that “Astro Bot” is supposed to be this massive 3D platformer that celebrates PlayStation history, both first-party and third-party. However, not every bot is as innocent and wholesome as our beloved Astro. When you’ve saved the “Metal Gear Solid” version of Snake and unlocked his cardboard box, go visit him and smack him. He’ll have different animations for getting him out of his box. But every once in a while, you’ll catch him gushing over a magazine featuring a bot in a bikini. Not so adorable now, are they?
Questionable Crossovers
“Fortnite” (2017)
There is no denying that “Fortnite” has become the ultimate hub for casual fans of pop culture. Unfortunately, this is something that’s been continuing to bug us in recent years. “Fortnite” has a playerbase consisting of all ages, primarily youngin’s. That said, why are we inserting characters from very graphic IPs like “Terrifier”, “The Witcher”, “Family Guy”, “Rick & Morty”, and “Evil Dead”? As for celebrities, should we really be putting in profane music artists like Eminem, Travis Scott, Doja Cat, and Snoop Dogg? We understand there are adults who play “Fortnite”, but is it worth exposing kids to these explicit products when we know their curiosity is going to lead them to this way too early in their lives?
A Time to Celebrate
“Super Mario Kart” (1991)
Though much of the “Mario Kart” series is nothing but harmless fun (save for the times when someone rages after getting hit with a Blue Shell), there was a time when Mario and company were a little more adult. Well, at least in Japan. Both Peach and Bowser’s victory animations see them enjoying a bottle of champagne to celebrate their victory. These animations were removed from the North American release on account of drinking ages in the US and Canada, as well as Nintendo of America’s policy on featuring alcohol in their games. It wasn’t family-friendly for Western audiences, so it was removed from the game.
The “Grumpy” Old Man
“Pokemon Red & Blue” (1996)
When exploring Viridian City, players will find an old man sprawled in the middle of the walkway and are unable to walk past him. According to his grandson, grandpa has been grumpy because he hasn’t had his coffee yet. However, the Japanese version tells a different story. This time, we learn that the old man is completely drunk and needs coffee in order to sober up. Of course, we can understand why this change was made, and it was probably for the same reasons why “Super Mario Kart” had its champagne references removed.
The Toad & the Shower
“Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga” (2003)
The first game in the “Mario & Luigi” series starts off on a really adult note with its dark intro. It only gets more adult when the player gains control for the first time. As Toad, the player must explore Mario and Luigi’s house to find our plucky plumber. It isn’t until he approaches the shower when he hears Mario singing. Instead of, you know, knocking or yelling for Mario outside, Toad waltzes on him and freaks out from seeing Mushroom Kingdom’s hero in a not-so-heroic situation. Kids might laugh at Toad being disgusted by Mario’s chest hair, but older players know Toad was traumatized by something else.
The Western Ending
“Mario Party 2” (1999)
We have yet another regional difference between Japanese and Western versions, but this time, it’s in one of the classic “Mario Party” games. In “Mario Party 2”, players can compete in Western Land for the chance to take on the outlaw, Bowser the Brash. Western audiences saw Bowser and the winner dueling with pop guns and shooting corks at each other. The Japanese version, on the other hand, had the characters use actual revolvers. Would Western audiences have liked seeing Mario and the gang literally putting a bullet in Bowser? Probably not then, but today’s audience would probably find it hilarious. I mean, NO, we must think of the children!
Red Canyon 2
“Kirby’s Dream Land 2” (1995)
It’s time we realize that Kirby isn’t the insanely cute and innocent little puyo we’ve been led to believe. We only need one shred of evidence to prove that notion! Exhibit A - “Kirby’s Dream Land 2”!! In the final level of Red Canyon, Kirby will enter a room where the blocks are arranged in a very particular order. Of course, it doesn’t look like much with the Game Boy’s screen, but when the room is fully assembled and scaled, it reveals the true pattern - a smiling naked lady. How this got past even Nintendo of America’s censors is beyond us!
A Roll in the Tub
“Mega Man Legends” (1998)
Let’s take a break from Nintendo games for a brief moment. Some PlayStation games aren’t any better at hiding adult jokes in E-rated games. Take Capcom’s “Mega Man Legends”. There is a moment where Volnutt can enter Roll’s room while she’s taking a bath. While we don’t ever see her, it’s not this bit that we’re concerned about - it’s the aftermath. Roll gives Volnutt an earful and yells at him to leave. Sure, Volnutt looks ashamed and embarrassed, but when he finally leaves, the little delinquent does a quick fist pump like he just achieved something! The sheer audacity!! That was no “accident”!!
The Infamous Waluigi Chop
“Super Mario Strikers” (2005)
One of the bits that made “Super Mario Strikers” so memorable was the change in tone compared to most Mario games. This one had some grit and attitude behind it! For parents, there may have been a bit too much grit and attitude, especially when our lord and savior Waluigi was onscreen. When scoring a goal, Waluigi will sometimes get carried away and celebrate with a crotch chop. Yeah, that was not a sight we were anticipating, and the pelvic thrusting certainly doesn’t help us forget the image. We’re sure the internet doesn’t mind it, though.
The Bone in TerrydactylLand
“Banjo-Tooie” (2001)
This one is a bit more explicit than the other Nintendo games. Kids may not put two and two together, but the adults will see it and can never unsee it. While exploring the prehistoric environments of TerrydactylLand, players will come across a small, swampy area with a narrow path of rocks going down the middle. Only thing is that this path of rocks looks a little bulbous and flaccid, don’t you think? Like we said, you will never unsee it. Hey, what else would you expect from a series known for the occasional innuendo?
A Peachy Shower
“Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door” (2004)
Speaking of steamy moments in Nintendo games, the “Paper Mario” series is blushing in the corner as we speak. We know exactly why, too. “The Thousand-Year Door” shows a scene where Peach is exploring the rooms of the place where she’s being held captive. One of these rooms holds a shower and is interactive. Kids will most likely think nothing of it, it’s just someone taking a bath or a shower. For an adult passing by, though? Censors are most likely kicking into overdrive. (Man, the Mushroom Kingdom will shower through any crisis, huh?)
Starlene’s Glitch
“Ratchet & Clank” (2002)
Granted, “Ratchet & Clank” isn’t exactly a kids game as it is rated T for Teen, but any normal parent would flip if this appeared on their kid’s screen, regardless of age. In the original “Ratchet & Clank” for PlayStation 2, there’s a really weird glitch that, for some reason, affects Starlene. Just start flip-jumping around her like a madman while strafing and her cleavage will grow…somehow. Yeah, video game logic. Also, yes, this is possible in the PS3 HD port. Why this happens is a mystery to everyone including the developers themselves.
