Top 10 Video Games You Can't Play In Public
#10: “Yakuza” series (2006-)
The 10 BEST Yakuza Side Quests
On the surface level, the “Yakuza” games would seem like the least offensive game to play in public. For the most part, you see goodhearted folks getting tangled with different yakuza clans in dramatic and well-written stories. Nothing super alarming aside from some occasional graphic violence. However, it’s the substories that might cause some to silently judge you as they tend to get weirdly absurd. Investigating cults, bizarre boss fights, teaching a woman how to be a dominatrix - it all looks strange when viewed out of context. So, this would be a “play at your own risk” when sitting on a bus or train.
#9: “The Binding of Isaac” (2011)
10 Video Games Almost NO ONE Plays Correctly
“The Binding of Isaac” is a roguelike dungeon-crawler that tells the story of a young boy being abused by his overly religious mother. But even with the disgusting and difficult boss fights, your Average Joe might not understand that. Most folks would probably focus on the grotesque characters and the fact that many of the levels are littered with poo. They might also find it weird that the main character is fighting off horrendous creatures by crying. You might not be judged too harshly for playing such a game, but those unfamiliar may choose not to sit too close to you.
#8: “Senran Kagura” series (2011-)
One could argue that just about any video game with an anime appearance would get you weird looks regardless of how many people might be in the room with you. In some cases, that may be true, but we really have to point out the “Senran Kagura” series. It isn’t just about the occasional flashes of self-censored nudity either. The skimpy outfits and boob physics would make anyone think you might have problems, and they wouldn’t care if you were playing for the fighting game mechanics, the third-person shooter gameplay, or, heaven forbid, the story. We aren’t condemning folks for playing the “Senran Kagura” games, but if you’re gaming outside of your home, maybe avoid booting this one up if you don’t want bystanders judging.
#7: “Dante’s Inferno” (2010)
Devil May Cry: Dante's Origin
Much like “The Binding of Isaac”, “Dante’s Inferno” holds some religious overtones. Unlike “The Binding of Isaac”, it holds a lot of graphic violence and imagery. Now, considering how big Sony’s “God of War” has become (which is the kind of game “Dante’s Inferno” somewhat copies), the ultra-violence wouldn’t cause anyone to really bat an eye. Although, there are two specific moments in the game where you’ll hope wandering eyes aren’t around you. One shows a nude woman under a blanket while another shows a rather revealing depiction of Satan. Those who have played will know what we’re talking about.
#6: “Catherine” (2011)
In general, “Catherine” was yet another homerun delivered unto us by “Shin Megami Tensei” developer Atlus. A man finds himself trapped in a love triangle, struggling to choose between his terrible fiance and a deadly succubus disguised as an alluring young lady. He begins experiencing nightmares that cause him to suffer from paranoia and delusions. It's horrific, yes, but it also boasts an extremely well-written cast. To someone who has never heard of “Catherine”, though, none of that matters - it’s a game with hearts and sexual overtones, and you’re a perv for simply wanting challenging puzzles and an excellent story.
#5: “Doki Doki Literature Club!” (2017)
Speaking of everything pink and heart-shaped, “Doki Doki Literature Club” has become notorious for its lengthy facade. For a while, you’re led to believe it’s a dating sim until it begins showing disturbing text and imagery, thrusting you into a horrific tale. There’s simply no convincing a total stranger that you’re not an oddball. Whether you’re caught looking at a suggestive image of one of the characters being super close to you or witnessing one of their terrifying deaths, chances are you will be seen as a creep. With the expanded version on the Nintendo Switch, you might not want to play this on the go.
#4: “Dead Or Alive” series (1996-)
Dead or Alive Retrospective
Even the most hardcore fans will admit that no one really plays the “Dead Or Alive” games for the story. No, you play it for the tight controls, unique mechanics, and insane combos! …Wait, the characters can wear skimpy outfits in these fights?? You know, this entire time we’ve played “Dead Or Alive”, we never even noticed! We swear! There’s really an interesting system in place where you have to focus on your opponent’s movements–NOT THOSE KINDS OF MOVEMENTS!! Ugh, forget it, no regular schmoe will ever understand it's really about the ever-inflating action, the beautiful stages filled with hills and valleys, and bouncing between characters to learn their movesets.
#3: “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” (2001)
Conker's Bad Fur Day Retro Review
“Conker’s Bad Fur Day” is, in a sense, one of the earliest games that unintentionally tricked parents into letting kids play the game. With more people knowing about the game today, anyone would judge you for playing it in a public setting. The censored swear words, bizarre cast, and violence might be fine for most. What would really get you mislabeled are a handful of highly suggestive scenes. There’s the curvy sunflower at the barnyard, the caveman leader whose weakness is his falling undergarments, the living furnace with brass balls polished to the nth degree…need we go on?
#2: “South Park: The Stick of Truth” (2014) & “South Park: The Fractured But Whole” (2017)
The 10 BEST Boss Fights in South Park Video Games
Look, “South Park” has become so big that it’s almost impossible to find someone who has never heard of it or even seen the show in some way, shape, or form. That being said, we should ALL know why “Stick of Truth” and “Fractured But Whole” should never be played in public! Even watching one episode of the show will tell you how cheeky, overt, exaggerated, violent, and obscene “South Park” can get. So, imagine how far the IP can go when it isn’t tied behind TV censors and is given the power to make players interact with the world. It ain’t rated M for just the jokes and language!
#1: “Bayonetta” series (2009-14)
Kratos vs. Bayonetta: God Slayer Duel
“Bayonetta” is absolutely the game where a parent might call the police on you if you were to play it in a public setting. A passing glance might not register much - it’s a game where a woman is beating the snot out of some demons and there’s a lot of ridiculous action going on, whatever, no biggie. Should a bystander stick around long enough, and they’ll soon realize that our titular protagonist gets more revealing as she uses more devastating attacks. And that goes without mentioning some suggestive shots in the cutscenes. There’s just no way to explain yourself out of it.
