Top 10 Reasons Patrick Star is the WORST Neighbor Ever
#10: Garden Thief
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“SpongeBob, You’re Fired” Both SpongeBob and Squidward would avoid plenty of trouble without Patrick’s negative influence. After Mr. Krabs’ nickel-pinching tendencies cost SpongeBob his job, the perpetually unemployed Patrick introduces him to the wonders of “fun-employment.” But it starts with an act of petty theft. Patrick brings SpongeBob over to Squidward’s garden and shows him how to get free food in a rather deceptive way. We know Squidward can be a little uptight, but he has every right to be angry at Patrick here. He probably wishes there was some “starfish repellent” that he could spray on his plants and vegetables.
#9: Opening SpongeBob’s Mail
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“Big Pink Loser” We’ll cut Patrick some slack for this, since the mail carrier delivering this package clearly wasn’t paying attention when he pushed it into the starfish’s yawning mouth. But Patrick looks at the box long enough that, if there is a mailing address on it, he should realize it’s not for him. After opening it and discovering an award, he rushes over to SpongeBob’s to share the good news. Of course, that’s who the award actually belongs to. At the end of that episode, Patrick gets a prize that’s rightfully his, albeit for a dubious accomplishment.
#8: Golfing in Squidward’s House
“A Friendly Game” Golf is usually considered a sophisticated sport. But that’s not the case when Patrick is playing it. In this episode, he and SpongeBob golf inside of SpongeBob's house, much to the annoyance of their neighbor. While they're both responsible for hitting balls through Squidward's window, Patrick ignores the sponge’s suggestion to stop there. The game continues, moving into the octopus’ house. Eventually, Squidward is screaming, denture-less, and his home is wrecked. When it comes to being a good and considerate neighbor, Patrick is decidedly under par. As we’ll discuss later, it’s not the first time Squidward gets his house destroyed by his neighbors.
#7: Body Odor
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“The Ballad of Filthy Muck” Smelling bad isn’t a morality issue, but it can make it hard to be around someone – especially if they live next to you. While Patrick doesn’t have the best hygiene, this episode puts his stench into a disgusting new context. It starts with him emitting visible green stink lines. His odor is so intense, it prompts a passerby to stuff worms into her nostrils and melts his rock. Things get even worse when he goes to the Krusty Krab. Patrick embraces his odorous identity at first – and even SpongeBob briefly gets involved – but we later learn the starfish went home to shower. We’re not sure where his bathtub is located, but for his neighbors’ sake, we hope he uses it more than the episode implies.
#6: Ruining Squidward’s Sculpture
“Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost” This one is a bit of a team effort. SpongeBob throws a shell into Patrick’s stomach, which he then launches right into Squidward’s open window, hitting and ruining a sculpture the octopus made of himself. It’s an accident, but Patrick’s unawareness of the damage he’s caused is pretty remarkable. Of course, he and SpongeBob think the sculpture is actually Squidward, leading to them ruining it further in an attempt to “save him.” And they get a hilarious experience with the not-so-supernatural, as the living Squidward convinces them he’s a ghost. The moral of the story: don’t play around open windows, and respect your neighbors’ property. Sadly though, this isn’t the only example of Patrick ruining Squidward’s artwork.
#5: Stealing Squidward’s Food
“Patrick’s Staycation” Patrick is known for having a rather large appetite. But it’s not quite clear where he gets his food budget from, considering he has no apparent source of income. The proof is that he doesn’t have any money to afford a standard vacation. So SpongeBob persuades him to opt for a "staycation," instead. But after taking issue with his friend’s extensive hospitality, Patrick ventures over to a new resort - Squidward’s house, where he is not welcomed. And he eats the food that most certainly is not for him. Not only that, he also treats Squidward like a waiter in his own home. We don’t think he left a tip, either. It’s all wildly rude and disrespectful. With a neighbor like that, who needs enemies, right!?
#4: Very Loud
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Various We have to admit that one of the funniest things about Patrick is his incredibly loud scream. But we’re just watching him, not living near him. And if he's not awake and screaming, he's probably asleep and snoring. Either way, it's going to be a sound for sore ears. He’s not alone in being a sound nuisance, however. At one point, his and SpongeBob’s noisiness becomes so much for Squidward that he threatens to call the police on them. If there was ever a person/starfish who needed to come with their own mute button, it’s definitely Patrick.
#3: Flooding SpongeBob’s House
“Pet Sitter Pat” Patrick doesn’t know the meaning of the word “responsibility.” So, he’s the last person you’d want looking after your house, or your pet. But SpongeBob trusts him with the task, and it results in the house being filled with water, turning it into an ocean within the ocean. Patrick, being Patrick, initially sleeps through much of this and doesn’t seem to recognize that it’s fault. We get that the starfish and Gary end up enjoying themselves, but can you imagine coming home to such a mess? We hope SpongeBob has good flood insurance to help deal with all this water damage. And no, we don’t quite understand the logistics of an underwater house becoming flooded – but we do understand good neighbor etiquette, unlike Patrick.
#2: Terrible Pet Sitter “Pet Sitter Pat” Even without the house flooding, Patrick still does a terrible job of looking after Gary. It starts with him holding the schedule SpongeBob made wrong, and getting rid of it as a result. Then, he eats Gary's food. He does try to wash the snail, but this involves using a flamethrower. Meanwhile, SpongeBob, away at his grandma’s birthday celebration, becomes rightfully stressed imagining all the chaos his friend and neighbor could be causing. Flooded house aside, things mostly end up okay, but SpongeBob probably should've just brought Gary with him. We hope he wasn't paying Patrick too much.
#1: Vandalizing/Destroying Squidward’s House
Various Depending on how you look at it, Squidward is either the unluckiest or luckiest person in Bikini Bottom. His house regularly gets destroyed or otherwise ruined, and Patrick and SpongeBob are often involved. But by the very next episode, it’s usually all better. Oftentimes, his neighbors aren’t trying to wreck anything, but regardless of their intentions, they still end up turning Squidward’s house to dust. To play devil’s advocate, we think the place might need an upgrade or two. After all, something’s terribly wrong if your home can explode from bubbles alone. Still, while it’s terribly funny for us, having Patrick (and SpongeBob) next door seems like a nightmare for our favorite grouchy octopus.
