Top 10 CRAZIEST Florida Man Stories
#10: Throwing a Hot Dog at a Police Officer
So, it turns out that throwing a hot dog at an officer can land you in some serious trouble. It was around 12 a.m. on Saturday, July 2, 2022, when hot dog vendor Jason Stoll was approached by a police officer. He was accused of “violating a city ordinance,” as his street closure permit had expired. Stoll became agitated and threw one of his hot dogs at the officer, resulting in his arrest and a charge of battery on a law enforcement officer. That type of crime could land Stoll in prison for at least three years.
#9: Trapped In an Unlocked Closet
What Would Happen If You Were Trapped In A Submarine? | Unveiled
In January of 2015, John Arwood and Amber Campbell broke into Daytona State College's Marine and Environmental Science Center. According to the duo, someone chased them into a closet, and it was there they remained for the next two days. Believing that they were locked inside, the pair were forced to do their business in the cramped closet. Finally having enough and risking the punishment, Arwood called 911 and reported that the duo was stuck inside the school. When cops arrived, they simply opened the closet door, finding that it was never locked in the first place. Arwood and Campbell were promptly arrested for trespassing.
#8: Florida Man Needs a Ride
Dispatchers received a call from a frantic man named Jonathan Hinkle. The agitated man told police that his grandmother was suffering a stroke at a nearby Hooters and that he needed a ride to be with her. Rather than just sending an ambulance, the cops agreed. They picked Hinkle up at a 7/11 and drove him to the Hooters. But when they arrived, Hinkle simply sprinted out of the car and ran across the parking lot. Turns out, his grandmother was never sick. Hinkle simply needed a ride, and he had the bright idea of tricking the police to get it. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Hinkle was promptly found and charged with misusing 911.
#7: Man Cartwheels Away From Cops
Top 10 Craziest Stories Ever Told on the Joe Rogan Experience
Oh, the things that police see. In July of 2020, Orlando police responded to an incident involving 40-year-old Gianfranco Fernandez. Fernandez was blocking a truck by standing in its path and doing a number of amateur gymnastics stunts. When police came to arrest him, he wriggled out of their grasp and quite literally cartwheeled away. Unfortunately for Fernandez, cartwheeling isn’t the most efficient method of making a quick getaway and he was captured again. This would be the last time, as the Florida man was cuffed and charged with both resisting arrest and battery on a law enforcement officer. But, you know, cool cartwheels.
#6: No Cats Allowed
Top 10 Craziest True Stories Behind Memes
A man named Everett Lages walked up to Murdock’s Emerald City Gentlemen's Club holding a kitten. As adorable as the kitten was, the club refused to let it in and asked Lages repeatedly to leave. He did - to the nearby curb. Where he called 911. Responding deputies found Lages both intoxicated and belligerent, and he refused to enter the taxi that they had called for him. Not only that, he continued to fight with the officers and even called 911 again to get some more. Needless to say, they did not send more. Rather, the deputies that were already there arrested Lages on a number of charges, including misuse of 911 and trespassing after warning.
#5: Fake Cop Pulls Over Real Cop
Top 10 Biggest Fake News Stories
On the night of July 4, 2019, Barry Hastings, Jr. was driving down Florida’s I-4 in a customized vehicle that was tricked out to resemble a police cruiser. The black Crown Victoria was outfitted with flashing lights, a siren, and a CB radio. Hastings found a victim and pulled them over, only to quickly realize that he targeted the wrong guy. The man he pulled over was a real, off-duty sheriff's deputy, who asked to see Hastings’ credentials. Hastings told the man that they were in his office and that he could take him to the “station” to get them. Instead, the deputy called 911, prompting Hastings to flee. Luckily, he was quickly pulled over himself and arrested.
#4: Throwing an Alligator Into a Wendy’s
The following is a very famous Florida Man story, even reaching news outlets like Time and The Washington Post. Around 1:30 a.m. on October 11, 2015, a driver named Joshua James ordered a large drink at a Loxahatchee Wendy’s. After pulling up, he tossed a three-and-a-half-foot alligator through the open window. Luckily, nobody was hurt in the incident, and the alligator was safely captured and released into a canal. After James was arrested, he revealed that he got the alligator from the side of the road. He was charged with numerous crimes, including assault with a deadly weapon and unlawful possession of an alligator.
#3: Is That a Chainsaw In Your Pocket?
Top 20 Craziest Ways People Quit Their Jobs
It’s amazing how many weird things get stuffed down people’s pants in Florida. In January of 2018, Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez was caught smuggling a full rack of ribs out of a Rines Market IGA. But that’s not the worst of it. Far from it. Years earlier, a man named Anthony Ballard stole a chainsaw from Port Saint Lucie’s Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment by shoving it down his shorts. Not surprisingly, employees immediately noticed that this man was waddling out of the store with a chainsaw between his legs and gave chase. Ballard ditched the chainsaw in the woods and got away. But in another baffling decision, he actually returned for the discarded tool. Unfortunately for the thief, the cops were there waiting for him.
#2: Man Attempts to Time Travel & Crashes Into a Strip Mall
Remember in “Back to the Future” when Marty drives the car so fast that it goes back in time? Well, that doesn’t actually happen. Not only is time travel impossible, but Marty had a fancy gadget that helped him go back to the ‘50s. This man did not. The Pensacola driver was attempting to time travel when he rammed his Dodge Challenger straight into a strip mall. Luckily, the driver was not injured and the business was empty at the time. The man was taken in for evaluation, and he simply told the investigators that he was attempting to time travel.
#1: The Impending War Between Aliens & Dragons
4 Alien Stories That Will Make You Question Reality | Unveiled
The thing about alien warnings is that we never take them seriously! We’ll pay for that one day. In July of 2022, Corey Johnson drove a stolen F-150 to Florida’s Patrick Space Force Base. When confronted by military officials, Johnson told them that he was on a mission telepathically given to him by President Biden. He was to tell those at the Space Force Base that a secret war was currently being waged between aliens and Chinese dragons. He was promptly arrested and thrown in jail for stealing the truck. So, you know, they didn’t believe him. The joke will be on us when dragons emerge from the sky and burn us all. Which of these Florida Man stories did you find the funniest (or the creepiest)? Let us know in the comments below!
