Batman Vs. Spider-Man

Round 1: Origin

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Let’s begin with their origins, both of which have seen several retellings, but remain relatively consistent: For Bruce Wayne, his life was defined by the murder of his parents by a mugger when he was a boy. Luckily he had a sweet inheritance to back up his urge to fight crime and make sure such things would never happen again. As for Parker, that orphan was raised by his aunt and uncle after his parents died in a plane crash. After being bestowed with incredible powers from a radioactive spider bite, his uncle was killed by a burglar that Peter had previously chosen not to stop. Batman may have originally helped craft the tragic superhero archetype, but Spiderman gave the genre a unique spin by being motivated not just by tragedy and revenge, but also by personal guilt. SCORE: Batman 0, Spider-man 1

Round 2: Powers and Accessories

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Batman wears the bat suit, a regularly modified and upgraded piece of armor meant to strike fear into the hearts of evildoers. With no real superpowers, he instead exploits martial arts, forensics and tools, which include his batarang, grappling gun, cape, smoke bombs, and sweet rides. He also has a roomy bat cave bustling with futuristic tech and cable TV. Poor Spidey…literally…he’s got no money. Thankfully he knows how to sow! That’s worth an A+ in Home Ec! Peter Parker also uses his intellect to craft a more modest set devices, such as his patented web shooters and spider-tracers. His powers include his spider-sense, agility, ability to climb walls and super strength. No lair though, just an apartment with a busted door… Despite Spidey’s thrilling powers, we’re going to have to give this round to Batman. SCORE: Batman 1, Spider-man 1

Round 3: Alter Ego

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Batman is a stoic hero who shares two things in common with the joke slinging Spider-Man: both have been labeled a vigilante menace by the media and both have made a stalwart pledge to never kill. In terms of their alter egos, Bruce Wayne is a resourceful billionaire that pretends to be a notorious playboy as to avoid rousing suspicion….while Peter Parker is a genius high school student who is shy, geeky and works as a freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle. We’re going to have to side with unassuming Peter on this one, because Bruce stands out as an obvious Batman suspect. He is the richest man in Gotham and owns an empire that produces advanced technology! And everyone can always see his chin! SCORE: Batman 1, Spider-man 2

Their mere existence has spawned a new breed of criminal, and both have the best rogues galleries from DC and Marvel, so this will be a tough call, which we’ll happily make anyway: Spidey has many countless memorable villains that always provide a solid fight, including Doc Oc, The Green Goblin, Sandman, Venom, The Lizard and Rhino. These animal themed psychopaths always provide for quite a lot of fun and high-octane clashes, which Spidey takes on alone. However, Batman’s villains have always seemed much more iconic and deadly. When compared side by side, we have to give this point to the Dark Knight for having to deal with such psychotics as the Joker, Two Face, Riddler, Penguin, Catwoman and Bane. Plus, Batman has help in the form of Commissioner Gordon, his trusty butler Alfred, techie Lucius Fox and Robin…. we don’t hold his affinity for young boys against him… SCORE: Batman 2, Spider-man 2

We’re not going to say which comic series is better…we love them both. Instead, we’re going to break the tie by seeing which has been done better off the page: Batman’s had a campy 60s series starring Adam West, two Tim Burton’s films, two Joel Shoemaker nightmares and his own award winning animated series. Sure “Batman & Robin” put the franchise on ice for years…but Christopher Nolan’s epic trilogy redeemed it. In terms of video games, Batman: Arkham! Nuff said! Spidey? Well, the first two films by Sam Raimi were fantastic…then it got all emo. He got his own Broadway play, several entertaining cartoons and video games, but you know where this is going… SCORE: Batman 3, Spider-man 2

Verdict:

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By a score of 3 to 2, it seems that Spider-man got squashed under Batman boot. At least Spidey retains his lighter and more comedic tone, and doesn’t imitate Batman’s darker and grittier …oh…um…nevermind… Agree with our judgment? Are you infuriated by our sweeping generalizations? Be sure to comment, subscribe and visit us at WatchMojo.com.