Another Top 10 Stupidest Horror Movie Characters

10: The Tyler Family

Also in:

Top 20 Stupidest Horror Movie Characters

“Us” (2019) Jordan Peele’s second groundbreaking venture into horror follows the Wilson family, who make smart decisions and work together to survive. But on the flip side of the coin, you have their friends, the Tylers. Even before the mayhem begins, the Tylers are shown as completely vapid and utterly self-absorbed. Parents Kitty and Josh are more concerned with getting drunk than spending time with their daughters. It isn’t too often that a character’s behavior is so succinctly summed up in one scene that the audience thinks, “Yep, they’re as good as dead.” So when Josh ignores strange sounds coming from outside, the family comes to their natural conclusion.

“Tucker and Dale vs. Evil” (2010) Making a dumb decision against an obviously malevolent force that gets you killed is one thing. But rushing headfirst into a situation before fully understanding it, and still getting yourself killed? Well, that’s something else entirely. This horror comedy focuses on two redneck friends who kindly nurse an injured Allison back to health. But, assuming they’re backwoods murderers out of a standard scary movie, her friends attempt to rescue her. This leads to their violent yet accidental deaths, each more hilarious than the last. If they had only attempted to talk to Tucker and Dale, rather than judge them on appearance, they would have lived. But then we wouldn’t have this modern genre classic.

“House of Wax” (2005) In fairness, none of the characters in this formulaic slasher are that smart. But none of them make such a profoundly large amount of bad decisions in such a small span as Dalton does. After the friends stumble upon a small town with the most dangerous wax museum of all time, Dalton goes off alone. Bad decision #1. He then attempts to free his friend, who’s encased in wax. But peeling it off means peeling off the skin, which he stupidly continues to do. Bad decision #2. #3 comes when he yells, “Hold on!” to the masked killer chasing him. And #4 comes when he doesn’t continue running away after falling down some stairs. Come on, are you even trying?

#7: Nancy Adams

Also in:

Top 10 Greatest Nancy Meyers Movies

“The Shallows” (2016) Surfing, like any sport, comes with certain safety precautions. For example, don’t go surfing at a secluded beach alone where no one can find you. And if a shark does attack, maybe don’t take refuge on a giant whale carcass i.e. the reason the shark is there in the first place. One could chalk that decision up to the chaos of the moment, but Nancy makes other poor decisions. She tries setting fire to the shark via the whale’s oil and a flare gun. But as it’s literally surrounded by water, that only manages to piss it off. Plus, doesn’t every surfer know you should poke a shark in the eyes or gills? That would’ve solved your entire problem.

#6: Everyone

Also in:

Top 10 Hottest Male Horror Movie Characters

“Alien: Covenant” (2017) In “Alien,” the xenomorph was so terrifying because it could out-think a group of capable astronauts. Fast forward to 2017, however, and its intelligence doesn’t seem that impressive. But that’s because the crew of the Covenant make terrible decisions before even coming into contact with it. What scientist would get on an unfamiliar planet without a helmet on, just in case? Or mess with some of its plant life without knowing what it is? Most of the characters are just fodder for cool death scenes, though it never feels like those scenes are earned, writing-wise. The top dumb prize has to go to Captain Oram, who’s manipulated towards his own death by David despite knowing he’s responsible for everything.

#5: Mark

Also in:

Top 10 Best Mark Hamill Characters

“Midsommar” Many horror movies have comedic relief characters. But in the case of Mark, his off-color personality directly leads to him being killed. After being invited to a special festival in Sweden, a group of friends begin to notice strange occurrences. If Mark were smart, he may have tried to play it safe in the presence of what is clearly a cult. But after several people go missing, he just keeps being his rude, sex-obsessed self. He even urinates on a sacred, ceremonial tree instead. It’s a mistake, of course, but come on. Maybe act a little more civilized in the face of danger. Fellow victim Josh also breaks some commune rules, but at least he tries to be sneaky.

“Aliens” (1986) James Cameron’s sequel is a monumental entry to the sci-fi/horror franchise. But not all of the characters are created equal, as Lieutenant Gorman can attest to. He is by far the most negligent, unprepared character in the movie. He convinces the newly awakened Ripley to help him secure a xenomorph-infested colony site. He leads her to believe he’s prepared when he’s only been on one combat drop. He panics under stress and constantly makes poor decisions that Ripley has to rectify. If he had been upfront from the start and not been following Burke’s lead, he wouldn’t have gotten so far in over his head. And many characters would have been spared horrible deaths.

“Night of the Living Dead” (1968) It seems that ever since the dawn of zombie movies, characters have been making stupid decisions. Take Barbra for example. At the onset, she’s clearly a burden on every other character. She must be saved by her brother, who she watches die instead of helping. She then crashes her car without any obstacle in her way. And this is all while dealing with only ONE zombie. She refuses to believe her brother isn’t alive and it’s her arrival that brings the onslaught of undead on the safe house. If she didn’t stupidly get herself killed when she sees her zombified brother later, we’d think she was the actual antagonist of the movie.

“The Thing” (1982) We can understand making some mistakes while dealing with an alien that can resemble any living creature. But this member of the doomed research team is just simple-minded. Clark spends most of the movie with a blank stare on his face, but it’s arguably his fault any of his colleagues die. After putting the then-dog-shaped alien with the other sled dogs, it quickly assimilates into them. And this is the moment where things go horribly wrong. Not only does he inadvertently causes the deaths of others, but he also gets himself killed. When MacReady tries to test his blood later in the movie, Clark tries to stab him and gets himself shot. And he wasn’t even an alien. Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: Louis Creed “Pet Sematary” (1989) Billy Peltzer “Gremlins” (1984) The I.S.S. Astronauts “Life” (2017) Mom “The Visit” (2015) Poolside Negotiator “A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge” (1985)

#1: Tatum Riley

Also in:

Channing Tatum Biography (UPDATE)

“Scream” (1996) This 1996 slasher classic is all about what not to do in order to survive a horror movie. And Sidney’s BFF Tatum provides a perfect lesson. When the teens throw a party during the film’s climax, it offers the killer ample opportunity to up the body count. After being cornered in the garage, Tatum actually does a decent job fighting him off. But that’s what makes her decision to attempt escape through a tiny doggy door so baffling. Anyone could tell there’s no way she’d be able to fit. It’s undoubtedly the dumbest thing she could think to do in that moment. She essentially throws her life away and she’s more than deserving of the top spot because of it.