Top 10 Red Dwarf One Liners

#10: Dumplings

The early seasons were substantially lower budget than the later ones, but that didn’t stop them from being loaded with quality jokes. One of our favorites from season 2 comes from the episode “Better Than Life.” It begins with Rimmer bragging about his culinary talents, prompting this hilarious comeback from Lister. It’s a hilarious way to start an episode, plus it highlights the show finally finding its feet after its slightly rocky first season. The rest of the episode is just as memorable, with the crew getting themselves mixed up in virtual reality. It was so beloved that it later became the basis for a “Red Dwarf” novel.

#9: Holly's IQ

It’s impossible not to love Holly, the personification of Red Dwarf’s computer. For most of the series, it was played by Norman Lovett, but he was swapped for Hattie for a few seasons. In the second episode, we get an iconic line from the comically dry computer. If you’re a P.E. teacher, there’s a chance you’ll disagree with this entry. It’s far from the only side-splitting joke about Holly’s IQ; we get another in the series 2 episode “Queeg,” hinting that he may have been lying about his IQ. He probably wasn’t about the P.E. teacher part, though.

#8: Rimmer's Gone

One of the core conflicts of Rimmer’s character is his struggle with being a hologram. This is explored in the series 5 episode “Holoship,” where he’s captured by a holographic vessel. Rimmer is delighted with this development, as he can feel physical objects as much as his heart desires. Right at the moment he’s taken, we get this uproarious interaction between Cat and Kryten. In the end, Rimmer manages to make it back, but it’s mainly his own decision, much to the Cat’s dismay. We also get to briefly see an intelligent Rimmer after getting a mind patch, but thankfully, he’s back to his old self in almost no time.

#7: Cat's Brain

In our current era, a cat’s brain is roughly the size of a walnut, which is slightly bigger than grapes. Interestingly, they have brains more similar to ours than dogs do, being roughly 90% identical to a human mind. This makes the idea of cats’ evolution sound a bit more convincing, but even less so after this insult from Kryten. We’re probably reading too much into the joke, but Cat’s intelligence is pretty impressive given his brain size. Either that, or the rest of the crew are so lacking in brains that he looks smart by comparison.

#6: Albanian Washing Machines

Now, we’re going to the series 6 episode “Legion,” where the crew gets pulled aboard a mysterious space station. There, they meet an intelligent lifeform called Legion, who is almost a god compared to the crew. This leads to this iconic interaction between Kryten and Lister. It’s a phrase Kryten seems to utter tons of times throughout the series, but when you think about it, it’s a bit perplexing. The crew left Earth millions of years ago, surely it would be more surprising if the technology wasn’t more advanced than their own?

#5: Ace Rimmer's Kipper

While the show probably wouldn’t work without Rim mer, most fans admit he’s not even the best Rimmer in “Red Dwarf.” This title is instead given to Ace Rimmer, a far more charismatic version from a parallel universe. To many, he’s the best character in the show’s history, with his stylish outfits and inspiring personality; it’s tough not to love him. That’s why his defining catchphrase has earned itself a spot on our list. He’s in less than a handful of episodes, another testament to the character’s brilliance, since characters with way more screen time get far less praise.

#4: Insult

Another remarkable highlight of series 6 is the episode “Gunmen of the Apocalypse.” It was so adored that it even won an International Emmy Award. The plotline is centred around Kryten’s wild west hallucination. He’s the sheriff of a town, but he’s not a good one, as it’s being terrorised by cowboy Bear Strangler McGee, whom Kryten struggles to stand up to. Rimmer, on the other hand, is less frightened, leading to this sidesplitting exchange. In the end, McGee wasn’t the town’s main foe, it wa s instead the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and it was all just part of Kryten’s fever dream.

#3: Pot Noodle

Lister has a bunch of recurring jokes, like his love for tikka masala or his hatred of pot noodles. It’s never specified why he hates them, but he’d sooner eat dog food. This leads to one joke in the episode “Demons & Angels,” where the crew is transported to a utopian version of Red Dwarf. To test the ship’s standards, he orders himself a Pot Noodle. To his surprise, both he and the Cat manage to actually eat it. This utopian version of Red Dwarf doesn’t last, as they travel to an evil version, where the more positive versions of the crew are killed. This means it’s not only the first edible Pot Noodle, but the last too, at least by Lister’s standards.

#2: No Flapjacks

One extremely irritating side character is Talkie Toaster, the almost sentient toaster that Lister brought from Miranda, a moon of Uranus, the same place he bought his cat. Canonically, it’s smarter than Holly, except all it cares about is breakfast. This ends up irritating the rest of the crew immensely, leading to this hilarious grilling from Lister. If you’re a fan of Talkie Toaster, check out the novels where he appears a bunch more times. Don’t expect an interesting character arc or any development, though, but you can expect some cracking jokes about toast.

#1: Red Alert

The episode “Legion” is so high-quality that it’s appearing on our list twice. This time, for the early joke about the ship's alert system. It goes from yellow to blue to red, where yellow means they’re not in danger, but another ship could be. Blue means there could be danger, then red is for worst-case scenarios. Although the red alert is rarely seen, not because danger never comes, but because they’re too lazy to change the bulb. It’s subtle, but it works so well that it’s remained fondly in our memories for years. The entire scene is amazing, doing a superb job at highlighting all the things we love about the Red Dwarf crew.

What’s your favorite “Red Dwarf” bit, and did it make it onto our top 10? Let us know in the comments below!