Top 10 Terrible Relationship Lessons We Learned from movies

Rom-coms usually provide the WORST relationship lessons ever. You’d think otherwise, but nope. Many rom-coms tell you that all you need to fix the problems in your relationship is through grand gestures, that you have to hate each other first to actually fall in love, that men and women can’t be friends, that all love begins with huge lies and that stalking people is actually quite romantic!

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Top 10 Terrible Relationship Lessons We Learned From Movies.

Romantic movies may be fun, but be careful about taking them too seriously. Welcome to MsMojo and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Terrible Relationship Lessons We Learned From Movies.

For this list, we’re looking at some of the absolute worst sex and dating advice that we got from our favorite films.

#10: A Guy Who's Afraid of Commitment Just Needs to Meet the Right Girl

This lesson is one that has existed in movies for decades. A woman falls for an emotionally unavailable guy or a womanizer, but after an appropriate number of months of fawning over him, he finally realizes that she is what he was waiting for all along. This trope is so common that they even made a whole movie about it: “He’s Just Not That Into You”. This idea goes hand in hand with the idea that a guy who treats you like crap – for example, stands you up - is a guy worth lusting after. The genders involved in this trope are sometimes inverted, such as in “Runaway Bride” when it's Julia Roberts’ character is the one who is afraid to commit.

#9: High School Sweethearts Are the Only True Love

Most people would agree that high school was the low point of their lives in terms of relationship and social interactions in general. But if we were to believe what we saw in the movies, we’d think that young love is the only kind that truly lasts forever. There’s something kind of questionable about the idea that you could meet your one true love in your grade of a hundred students (or less). But what’s even more romantic than ending up with your high school sweetheart? Ending up with your childhood sweetheart, of course!

#8: One of You Needs to Be Saved

If there’s one stereotype that just won’t die no matter how advanced feminism gets, it’s the damsel in distress. Women’s rights may have come a long way, but movies still show us that all a girl wants is to have a knight in shining armor swoop in and save her. Whether it’s being woken from a cursed slumber, being pushed out of oncoming traffic or being saved from some evil dude, there are countless dangerous scenarios for a lady to meet her leading man. In some more modern films - like “The Hunger Games” - this idea is reversed, with the man playing the “damsel”, but examples are still few and far between.

#7: Grand Gestures Fix Everything

The grand gesture is usually brought into the film when everything else has gone wrong and one of the lovers has been revealed to have done something awful in the eyes of the other. The gesture itself can range from running through an airport to catch someone moments before their flight, to delivering an absurd amount of flowers to someone’s office. The object of the gesture is always convinced to take the person back, no matter how much they’ve erred. Sometimes these gestures are totally misguided - and even kind of creepy - like in “Love Actually” when Mark professes his love for his best friend’s wife in this much-mocked famous scene.

#6: You Have to Hate Each Other First to Actually Fall in Love

If you only learned about relationships from movies, you’d probably think that the hottest way to get with someone was to spend a few months hating each other’s guts and treating one another like garbage first. Isn’t the height of romance slinging insults at the one you love? This scenario usually plays out with the two parties sparring throughout the whole film only to realize that their conflicted nature is actually suppressed attraction in disguise. This idea is often played along with the concept that “opposites attract”.

#5: Stalking People Is Very Romantic

This idea may be the most disturbing one for filmmakers to put out into the universe. It’s all too common for a guy in a movie to be seen watching a girl change through her window or following her while she goes about her day. The biggest problem is that instead of these dudes being called out for being total creeps, the girls in question often end up thinking the whole thing is charming. Revolutionary idea, boys: when you like a girl, just tell her! Outside of the movies, being stalked is not attractive.

#4: Cheating Is Fine as Long as It’s with Your Soulmate

Cheating is typically portrayed in film as the absolute worst thing one partner can do to the other - an act typically reserved for characters that you’re supposed to hate. There’s one notable exception to this though. If one of the romantic leads happens to be having an affair with the person that they’re “obviously supposed to end up with,” then their boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancée or spouse is just out of luck. Sometimes these partners are sympathetic characters like in “The Notebook,” but sometimes they’re portrayed as a bad guy or gal that deserves no pity from the audience whatsoever, like Billy Zane's character in “Titanic”.

#3: All True Love Begins with Huge Lies

Here’s how it typically plays out: the leading lady or man has to pretend they’re someone they’re not in order to “get” their romantic conquest. Alternately, someone -usually the guy- is only spending time with the girl because of some sort of game or bet. Usually, it’s one of the partners lying to the other, but in films like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” both of the main characters enter into the relationship with a lie. Inevitably, the two parties offer forgiveness, sometimes after an epic grand gesture is performed to win them back.

#2: Men & Women Can’t Be Friends

As the famous plotline of the romantic comedy that started it all, Harry and Sally disagree on whether it’s possible for men and women to be friends without any sexual tension getting in the way. Of course for these two, their contentious friendship ends up evolving into something more. The question has been posed in films time and time again, with the answer always ending up being a resounding “no”. In more modern movies like “Friends with Benefits”, the idea is changed to ask whether people can have casual sexual relationships without falling in love and again, the answer is “nope, definitely not.”

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honourable, or in this case dishonorable mentions:

One of You Must Give Up Your Dream Life For the Person You Love

Pretending to Be Someone Else Is a Guaranteed Way to Land a Guy

#1: All You Have to Do Is Get a Makeover to Find Love

Of course all you need to do is let down your hair, take off your glasses and throw on some makeup for the man of your dreams to realize what a hottie you really are. Sadly, this one is almost always played out with a woman needing a makeover and not a man. This is an awful message, especially for impressionable young girls who will grow up thinking that it’s their looks that matter the most. Sometimes this trope is even worse, implying that you have to change who you fundamentally are in order to be attractive, as in “Grease”.


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