Top 10 Hilarious Ned's Declassified Running Gags
#10: “You’re FIRED!!”
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While he’s mostly a walking “Miami Vice” spoof, Vice Principal Crubbs is still a man who demands respect; and if you don’t give it to him- you're fired. the students. Every now and then, Crubbs uses these two little words as a warning to keep others in line – whether they are his fellow staff members or even the students. What makes this threat so funny is how exaggerated Crubbs shouts it out, and just the fact that he rarely ever means it – seriously, if he actually followed through with his bluff, Gordy would’ve been laid off ages ago. Nevertheless, the students and faculty know that it’s better to stay on Crubbs’ good side – just in case he ever IS serious.
#9: Gordy’s Laziness
Almost every day, we see Gordy the Janitor doing anything he can to avoid doing any actual janitorial work – sleeping during the day, hiding from Crubbs, and putting in as little effort to clean as possible. Whenever there’s a big mess that needs cleaning, Gordy’s go-to response is usually that he’ll let the night guy take care of it – that poor night guy’s working so much overtime. Yet, despite his laziness, there’s a reason Gordy still has a job at Polk: he looks out for the students, especially our main trio, and knows that their well-being is more important than a few spills. So don’t expect him to clean up his act – or the school – anytime soon.
#8: Abraham Lincoln
After using one of Cookie’s inventions for too long in Season One, Ned starts having recurring hallucinations of Abraham Lincoln throughout the rest of the series. Every now and then, whenever Ned is stumped with a problem or needs a guiding light, Honest Abe will show up in some form or another to steer Ned in the right direction. Also now and again, Benedict Arnold – famous historical traitor – will pop up to antagonize Mr. Lincoln and try to steer Ned down the wrong path. Not only is it funny watching Lincoln and Arnold’s back-and-forth, but they also make the perfect shoulder angel and devil for our young protagonist – thankfully, he’s always in favor of Honest Abe’s guidance.
#7: Moze & Ned Hints
Deep down, a lot of people saw this coming. Ned and Moze have been best friends for years, and yet every now and then, there have been a few subtle hints that there’s something more between them. At first, it’s mostly just rumors and teasing since both of their hearts laid elsewhere. However, as the series progressed, it becomes a bit more obvious that they both secretly harbor feelings for each other – but neither wants to admit it. Young love – especially for middle school students – is a confusing thing; but in the end, the hints actually pay off when the two finally come together in the series finale with one cathartic kiss.
#6: Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer
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Meet Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer – the students’ go-to attorney. Whenever she meets with a potential client, she always hands them a business card and states her name and occupation – even if they’ve known her since Pre-K. If her fellow students need a consultant or any legal advice, she’s usually the one they call upon – though sometimes, she’ll show up even if they don’t really need her… or at least they don’t think they do. Regardless of her unpredictable timing, they can’t deny that Claire has the know-how to strike a deal or get them out of any legal jam, so it’s a safe bet that she’s got a successful career ahead of her.
#5: Poor Coconut Head
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Unfortunately, every great comedy has to have at least one butt monkey; for “Ned’s Declassified”, it’s usually Coconut Head. Along with his embarrassing haircut, this poor kid has some of the worst luck in the show. He gets tossed around by bullies, something frequently scares him or makes him cry, he often gets hurt by accident, and, to top it all, no one seems to know his real name. And yet, through it all, Coconut Head still tries to maintain a positive attitude because he knows that something good is bound to happen – and in some rare cases like dealing with bullies, he doesn’t mind the attention.
#4: Timmy Toot-Toot
There is a silent-but-deadly force within Polk Middle School, and his name is Timmy Toot-Toot. Whenever he utters his catchphrase “Toot-Toot”, he unleashes a devastating fart – the impact of the stench repelling any poor soul caught in its path. Most kids would be embarrassed by such a disgusting habit, but Timmy sees it as a superpower – he doesn’t have to wait in lines, he sits where he wants, and he can knock out his enemies with one blast. He’s also very protective of his title as the ‘master blaster’ and won’t let anyone steal his thunder – which is a relief since we’re not sure Polk can handle TWO Timmy Toot-Toots.
#3: “You Kids Have Hall Passes?”
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Every now and then, if kids are seen outside of class in the hallways, a random teacher will stroll by and ask “do you kids have hall passes?” and miraculously, they always do. What makes this running gag funny is that the students could be engaged in some risqué activity such as a hostage negotiation or even a brawl, and the teachers don’t seem to notice or care as long as they have their passes. It’s a funny way to lampshade the classic “shouldn’t you be in school” trope that shows that as long as you have your permits, you can get away with pretty much anything.
#2: The Girl’s Bathroom
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Face it, we’ve all done some embarrassing things when we were kids… but Ned’s blunder takes the cake. When he was 5-years-old, Ned mistakenly ran into the girl’s bathroom, and he instantly became a laughing stock – especially from bullies. Unfortunately, his mistake ends up haunting him for many years, and he somehow ends up back in the girl’s room again and again. It’s frustrating and humiliating, but if Ned never slipped up, he never would’ve started the Guidebook to helping other students survive middle school. In a way, it was a blessing in disguise… but if only Ned would learn not to keep making the same mistake again. Before we unveil our number one pick, here are a few recurring honorable mentions. Ventilation Misdirection Rambling Martin Qwerly Buzz NEVER talks Simone Crony’s ‘NOT’ in the Sewing Club
#1: Gordy vs. the Weasel
For years, a wild weasel has been on the loose in Polk Middle School, and Gordy has made it his life’s mission to catch it once and for all. Unfortunately, the weasel is way too cunning and slick to be caught and even if Gordy gets close, his conscious usually makes him let the slippery critter go. While it’s frustrating for Gordy, it’s hysterical for us – watching him constantly try and fail to catch his furry foe is like something straight out of “Looney Tunes” – with enough slapstick and harebrained schemes to keep us chuckling. Thankfully, the longest-lasting conflict in the series comes to a satisfying conclusion in the finale – in a way that NOBODY sees coming.
