Top 30 Worst AS SEEN ON TV Items Ever

Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for those as-seen-on-TV items that nobody needs, nobody wants, or don’t even work once you get them. Admit it, you own at least one ridiculous as-seen-on-tv item. Let us know in the comments below.

#30: Pajama Jeans

Pajamas are super comfortable but you can’t wear them in public. Jeans look good in public but they aren’t that comfy. Allow us to introduce you to the Reese’s of clothing… Pajama Jeans. Just like the aforementioned candy brings together chocolate and peanut butter, Pajama Jeans bring you all the comfort of pajama bottoms with the stylish look of jeans (or at least that’s what the infomercial tells us). And for more weird wearables - get a load of the wearable towel. Because why just dry yourself off when you can wear your towel like some kind of terrycloth toga?

#29: EZ Butter

You know how annoying it is to open your butter dish, take some butter with a knife, and spread it on your toast? Ya, neither do we. And yet, that’s basically the problem EZ Butter decided to solve with this handheld dispenser. However, it’s not like the thing also spreads the butter for you. It just drops a pat of butter on your food and then you still have to do the rest. How much EZer is that really? The fact that the product no longer exists seems to imply that it was EZ for people not to buy it.

#28: Doc Bottoms Aspray

With a name like “Doc Bottoms” and “Aspray” - pronounced A-spray, but easily misread as “asspray” - you’d think this product would be ripe for a parody. And it would be if the product wasn’t actually deodorant for your butt. But it isn’t just for your butt, it’s also for your armpits, feet, and - we’re not kidding - your privates. Anywhere that can get stinky - just spray the Aspray and, as they say, it “Literally Stops Odors before they Start.” Given what they’re selling, we appreciate that the infomercial doesn’t take itself too seriously. But we can’t take the product seriously either.

#27: Brush Buddies Singing Toothbrush

Wanna listen to One Direction or Justin Bieber while you brush your teeth? Just take out your phone, go to your Spotify account, and play the song. What you don’t need to do is buy a Brush Buddies Singing Toothbrush. However, if it really does make your tooth-brushing experience as amazing as it does for the girl in the infomercial, then we take it all back. While we’re on this dental care kick - if squeezing toothpaste onto your toothbrush is as harrowing an experience as it is in the Press2Paste infomercial, we guess the product would have value. Otherwise, allow us to ask…. why?

#26: Talking TP

The name of this one is a little misleading. This isn’t talking toilet paper - because that would be dumb right? No, this is the toilet paper roll that talks. Yes, it’s a real thing. Just record a message on the roll and whenever the toilet paper gets pulled the message will play. Prank your friend or - as the example on the packaging suggests - ask your girlfriend to marry you. We’re not here to hand out relationship advice but… Don’t ask your girlfriend to marry you via a talking toilet paper roll! The best thing the roll could say would be to admonish you for having bought the stupid thing in the first place.

#25: AIR Curler

We all know how labor-intensive and time-consuming curling your hair is. Well, not anymore - if the AIR Curler is to be believed. Just stick the big bucket thing to the end of your hair dryer, put a chunk of hair in said bucket, and let ‘er rip. According to the product description, what you should end up with are, “soft, tangle-free, long-lasting curls.” However, that doesn’t always seem to be the case in real life. What many women get is kinda wavy hair or maybe scraggly curls - and be careful, it gets really hot.

#24: Dump Dinners

As Timon said in “The Lion King,” “what’s in a name?” Well, in this case… everything. There’s nothing wrong with the product itself. It's a cookbook filled with easy and nutritious recipes you can make in under 15 minutes - who doesn’t like that? But oh that name. Yes, we get it. They call them “Dump Dinners” because you “just dump in all the ingredients and bake.” But come on! They couldn’t come up with a name for the recipes that didn’t also bring to mind where the meals would end up after passing through our intestinal tract? Do they not own a thesaurus? There’s gotta be at least one or two better words. And speaking of number 2…. Sorry, we couldn’t help it.

#23: Booty Pop

While it sounds like an NSYNC parody song, Booty Pop is actually underwear with padding. Say bye, bye, bye to your flat rear, and say hello to your brag-worthy bubble butt in seconds with these transformational panties. It looks like we found out where all the shoulder pads went when they went out of style in jackets at the end of the 80s. The problem is that, while it does seem to work with certain outfits and certain types of clothing - other times you can see the outline of the padding through the clothes. And, at least according to a few real women who’ve tried it, it isn’t very comfortable either.

#22: The Broccoli Wad

We’re all familiar with how Mafia men use rubber bands from broccoli bunches to hold their money instead of wallets, right? Well, how would you like to pay for a manufactured version of those bands to hold your money - instead of getting one for free off of an actual wad of broccoli? Ya, we wouldn’t either. But that didn’t stop Johnny Gennaro from creating The Broccoli Wad money band and pitching it on “Shark Tank” back in season two. While he did make a deal on the show, it never actually materialized - and within a year or so the Broccoli Wad was swimming with the fishes.

#21: The Tush Turner

As-seen-on-TV items seem to spend a lot of time focused on people's rear ends - from making them look better to helping them smell better. But with the Tush Turner now your butt can… turn better? Ya, like you know how awful it is getting in and out of a car? Well, stop turning your body to get in and out all by yourself, and start letting the seat cushion help out a little. The Tush Turner is a seat cushion that rotates to supposedly make it easier and less strenuous on your body to enter and exit a vehicle. Honestly, we'd like to tell the people who invented this ridiculous thing to do a different kind of sitting and rotating.

#20: PooTrap

Though dog waste might seem like little more than an inconvenience, it can contain bacteria and parasites, which if exposed to the eyes, can result in blindness. Meaning that when you don’t pick up after your dog, you expose others to more than just some poop on their shoes. PooTrap is a product with good intentions, but an incredibly bizarre execution: it’s a brightly-colored harness you strap onto your dog’s rear with a tiny bag attached, so that when they squat to do their business the poo will – in theory - go straight into the bag without you having to actually pick it up, nice and simple! But unfortunately… it’s simply too odd for most people (and probably dogs as well).

#19: Potty Putter

If the talking toilet paper wasn’t enough ridiculousness for your bathroom, you can now buy your own very miniature golf set to put on the floor in front of you. This is advertised as being a way to help you practice your putting and uses the same fake green as real golf courses do - though on a real golf course you probably won’t be trying to use the bathroom at the same time! Unfortunately, the Potty Putter raises more problems than it solves, mainly the question of whether you set it up permanently or do you only take it out whenever you need to go.

#18: Skinnies Instant Arm Lift

In what is perhaps the most insulting item on this list, the instant arm lift is used to get rid of unwanted flab by literally taping the flab to the back of your arm! It’s advertised to make “sagging arms appear tight and firm,” and we couldn't think of a more degrading and useless product. The tape is also extremely hard to apply and is quite painful to take off, like slowly peeling off a Band-Aid. Agonizing, undignified, and hopelessly impractical, this item ticks all the boxes of a dumb product.

#17: GLH-9

That’s Great Looking Hair Formula #9, and it’s hair in a can – at least, you baldies wish it were. Ron Popeil is the king of infomercials: if you were homesick in the ‘90s, you can bet your ass you were begging your parents for a food dehydrator or a pasta maker the minute they walked in the door. But the most ridiculous Ronco product was GLH-9. Think the before-and-afters would be as effective in HD?

#16: Fat Magnet

Eating healthy is something we all want to do. But unhealthy food just tastes so good! Well, the Fat Magnet claims to be the perfect solution. You hover it over your food, and the excess fat on greasy foods gets sucked up by magnets, or something like that. Truth is, we don’t really know how it works, mainly because it doesn’t. Seeing this product endorsed on “The Dr. Oz Show” is just painfully awkward, and it should be apparent to anyone watching that it is nothing but a cash grab. Maybe just buy a salad instead.

#15: Hawaii Chair

Where do we start with this one? You can’t take the work out of your workout – that’s kinda the point. But for argument’s sake, let’s ignore that: can you imagine your colleagues sitting idly by if you were doing this at work? It’s a chair with a motor and a tropical gimmick, and it’s supposed to give you abs, but apparently all it does it make your butt hot.

#14: Facial Flex

This device looks more like it belongs in a dental clinic than as part of your daily beauty/fitness regime. Advertised as a product that gives you a “natural face lift”, the Facial Flex is almost as odd as the reactions of the woman trying it out in the infomercial. And yet, there are reportedly many people who swear by the Facial Flex’s positive results. A similar device is the Neckline Slimmer, a very unusual gadget promising to tighten your jawline, eliminate your double chin, and take years off your appearance by having you repeatedly push your head against it. They say that beauty is pain, but this stuff looks like downright torture.

#13: Rejuvenique

Younger-looking skin is only one terrifying mask-wear away! Just get into your silk pyjamas, sit in your favorite fireside chair and enjoy facial toning sessions that send “impulses” from a nine-volt battery directly into your 12 facial zones! And whatever you do, don’t forget your lube. Does this sound to anyone else like shock therapy? Side effects may include redness, burning, memory loss and violent horror film-inspired nightmares.

#12: Kush Support

No, this is not a support to house your marijuana. It's even worse. The product is basically a piece of foam or plastic that goes in between a woman’s breasts as she sleeps to support them during the night. It's impossible to look at this thing in action and not laugh in embarrassment at the sight of it. If that wasn't bad enough, a vast number of consumers complain that it doesn't stay in place due to the poor, slippery quality of the material. Sorry C-cuppers, but you'll have to find relief elsewhere.

#11: Zoomies

If your goal is to look absolutely foolish while you're out in public, then Zoomies are for you! Zoomies are hands-free binoculars that sit on your head like a pair of glasses, so you can look at faraway objects without the annoying hassle of actually holding a pair of binoculars. Not only do you look ridiculous wearing them, but reviews also cite poor, blurry vision and weak magnification as deal breakers. We can imagine that even avid bird watchers passed on these, and we advise you to do the same.

#10: Cami Secret

This ad gets off to a seriously rocky start when a boss looks down his employee’s top, but having the narrator make it the woman’s fault is worse. But for a moment, let’s just pretend this was being marketed as your run-of-the-mill garment to be worn under plunging necklines. There are already so many comfortable, reasonable options out there! This ad is quick to diss the most popular one, a camisole, by dismissing it as uncomfortable. Okay… but then you can still go with a bandeau, or you know, a well-fitting camisole. Other options seem more comfortable, and are undeniably more aesthetically pleasing than the cami secret.

#9: Better Marriage Blanket

The fact that this is even on the market speaks volumes about our culture. We’re not going to sugarcoat this: the Better Marriage Blanket is a comforter that absorbs your spouse’s fart so that it doesn't stink up the bed. It's even advertised that the blanket uses the same fabric “used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.” Last we checked, humans farted methane, not VX. This probably started as a joke, but then some executive thought there was money in it, so here we are.

#8: UroClub

How does this stack up next to the Potty Putter? Invented by a urologist, it looks like your average club. But upon closer examination, golfers who can’t wait till the 18th hole will be relieved – pun intended – to find a hollow reservoir where they can discreetly empty their bladders. However, even with the attached towel, we still don’t think it’s that discreet. Think we’ll ever see this at the Masters?

#7: SlobStopper

Remember when we said that the “Broccoli Wad” would’ve been a strong contender for worst named as seen on TV products? We clearly didn't read this script far enough ahead! SlobStopper…. you feel dirty just saying it, which is ironic considering it’s essentially a baby-style bib for adults. The level of incompetence displayed by the characters in this ad is, quite frankly, astounding. So dudes, are you worried that a pretty lady won’t date you after you’ve spilled a coffee on your shirt? Well... if she ever finds out you wear a slobstopper, let us tell you this: it won't be stains that are keeping you single.

#6: The Back-Up

The Back-Up is a gun rack that is meant to house a gun beside your bed in order to shoot intruders without you even having to leave the comfort of the mattress. Not only is this one of the most puzzling and useless products ever, but it also holds the potential to be extremely dangerous. God help the spouse who sneaks back into the room from getting a drink. Terrible in all the wrong ways, The Back-Up is truly one of the most perplexing things we've ever seen.

#5: Long Reach Comfort Wipe

Though “As Seen on TV” items tend to be bad across the board, the worst of the lot was bound to be found in the bathroom. At least there’s no play on words - the “Long Reach Comfort Wipe” lets you know what it’s all about right from the get-go. It creates a degree of separation between your hands and the toilet paper when it comes time to wipe. While there’s no denying the fact that it could serve as a great tool for those with reduced mobility, the fact that this product markets itself as the next toilet paper innovation, poised to make traditional wiping a thing of the past, undermines any and all credibility.

#4: Perfect Polly

Honestly… there’s little fun to be had here. A motion-activated fake bird, Polly chirps, turns its head back and forth in a jarring, unnatural movement, and even moves its tail feathers ever so slightly. If this were being marketed as a toy for kids, it would just be an unremarkable, slightly boring product. But look at this commercial. It’s being advertised as a companion - as a legitimate stand-in for a real pet! Sure, caring for a real animal can be a lot of work – especially for the very young or the very old – but seeing an entire family fawn over this plastic bird is downright unnerving.

#3: TV Hat

For any sci-fi writers who predicted a dystopian future in which tv replaces social interaction, TV Hat was exactly the nightmare they were worried about. It’s a visor with a very long cap that you can put your phone inside, creating a portable movie theater perfect for blocking out the rest of the world. It even includes a custom lens to make the display bigger, and is shown as an alternative to the expensive VR gaming systems currently on the market. While watching things on your phone hands-free is a nice idea, anyone who actually wears a TV Hat will never live this down...

#2: Shake Weight

You know what else is a good arm workout? Actually, we’re not even gonna make the joke. Women are always trying to avoid the dreaded Oprah arms, and the Shake Weight is the revolutionary product that exercises your biceps and triceps, while making you look like a complete jackass! And, it’s not just for ladies. Obviously. In just six minutes a day, this little guy will work its magic.

#1: Sauna Pants

Similar to the more recent Portable Sauna, sauna pants promise to help you “sweat in the areas you need it most.” These are bulky, uncomfortable pants that heat up the lower half of your body in the hopes of making you sweat. They also need to be plugged in, meaning that you must be sitting within five feet of an outlet. So, probably on the floor. Another criticism is that they come in one size, so many report an uncomfortable fit, despite the fact that they’re adjustable. Needless to say, Sauna Pants are one of the dumbest products ever.