Top 10 Most Inappropriate KidzBop Songs

Top 10 Most Inappropriate Kidz Bop Songs

Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Most Inappropriate Kidz Bop Songs

For this list, we’ll be looking at songs featured on this kid-friendly album with subject matter that might be deemed… Well, not kid-friendly.

Which Kidz Bop lyric rewriter do you find the funniest? Let us know in the comments.

#10: “Cake by the Ocean” (2015)
DNCE

Sorry to disappoint the sweet tooths among us, but just in case you hadn’t heard, this song isn’t actually about enjoying dessert while looking out to sea. Rather, it’s about sex on the beach. DNCE didn’t clarify whether they’re singing about the cocktail or getting down to business. Although if you listen to the words, then it’s very likely that it’s the latter. Either way with expletives, alcohol references, and some pretty explicit imagery, we imagine that some parents might not approve of their offspring singing along. If so, they might prefer the“Kidz Bop” version, which offers a more literal translation of the title.

#9: “New Rules” (2017)
Dua Lipa

Considering that this song is about moving on from a relationship, we’re not sure how many “Kidz Bop” fans can really relate. To be fair, Lipa’s advice seems pretty sound and it’s never too early to teach kids how to stay away from unhealthy relationships. Even so, the content of the song is perhaps a tad premature for little ears. Any mention of drinking had been removed entirely as has a reference to waking up your ex’s bed. Nevertheless, it’s still definitely a break-up anthem. You might want to wait until after their first heartbreak before playing this track to your little ones.

#8: “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)” (2021)
Lil Nas X

We understand that “Kidz Bop” wants to make pop music more accessible for kids. However, if a song is explicitly about sex, does it really have a place on a children’s album? Not to mention the lyrics about drink and drugs. Not only that, but their version erases any gay reference. Instead, this is now essentially a song about chilling on a Hawaiian beach. Fans were understandably angered by the LGBTQ+ censorship and started a petition to pull the album altogether. The changes didn’t go unnoticed by the artist either, who shared the new lyrics on Twitter, much to the amusement of his fans.

#7: “Timber” (2013)
Pitbull feat. Kesha

There are several interpretations of what’s “going down” in this song. But with mentions of drinking a lot, partying hard, and various states of undress, none of them are particularly kid-friendly. The chorus literally suggests drinking so much that you blackout. Naturally, “Kidz Bop” removed those lyrics and replaced them with ones about dancing instead. Even so, we’re not sure just how wild they think a children’s dance party can get. Admittedly, this song is a bop and definitely one that would send you to the dance floor. Maybe they should have included lyrics about staying hydrated at these apparent crazy kid parties instead.

#6: “Love Me Harder” (2014)
Ariana Grande feat. The Weeknd

Who saw the title of this song and thought it was the right choice for a “Kidz Bop” album? The name alone gives it away. Ariana is known for expressing her sexuality through her music and this one is on the more explicit side. As far-fetched as it sounds, the kiddie version is now about singing. Someone behind the scenes worked extremely hard to censor the song’s mature nature and it’s actually kind of hilarious. It’s been edited so much that it could essentially be a brand new track. If only they’d thought to change the repetitive “Love Me Harder” part as well.

#5: “Lose My Breath” (2004)
Destiny’s Child

Admittedly, we also jammed out to songs just like this when we were younger in total blissful ignorance. Evidently, whoever deemed this song appropriate also thought that the lyrics were PG enough too. The major difference is the chorus of children who interject every now and again. We can only assume that they decided that Destiny’s Child was urging the “baby boy” to “keep up” on the dance floor. Somehow they’ve overlooked the actual meaning behind the breathy sounds between the lyrics. Do you want to tell them that it’s not the sound of someone going too hard on the dance floor or should we?

#4: “Toxic” (2004)
Britney Spears

With lyrics like “With a taste of your lips, I’m on a ride,” we’re not really sure what it was about this particular song that screamed ideal for children. As we’ve already seen, “Kidz Bop” loves exchanging suggestive lyrics for ones about dance. Yet, someone still scanned Britney’s “In The Zone” album, straight past “Me Against the Music” and settled on “Toxic.” Sure, it’s one of her most famous songs but hearing kids sing those evocative words is still a bit weird. We guess that someone at “Kidz Bop” didn’t get the memo about Britney’s “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” phase.

#3: “Love on the Brain” (2016)
Rihanna

Oh to be a fly on the wall, when this song was finalized for the “Kidz Bop 35” album. Rihanna’s songs are quite racy at the best of times but this one especially has no business being on a playlist aimed at children. She sings about being consumed by her love for a man that she knows is bad for her. To make matters worse, some believed that it hinted at her past relationship with Chris Brown. Even their attempts at creating more family-friendly lyrics fall short if you ask us. In fact, their edits are only marginally less explicit than the original.

#2: “Closer” (2016)
The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey

Just because this song was everywhere in the summer of 2016, it doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate for every setting. Considering that the song is about two people hooking up, it needed quite heavy editing to make it more family-friendly. As a result some of the lyrics no longer make sense and are actually quite absurd. Among the funniest is the way that they’ve reimagined bed sheets as sheets of paper. It probably would have just been better to skip this song altogether. Also if you have to rewrite the entire chorus then you might want to rethink its place on your album.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

“Follow Me” (2000), Uncle Kracker
This Song Is About a Married Woman Having an Affair

“Savage Love” (2020), Jason Derulo & Jawsh 685
The Lyrics in This Track Certainly Aren’t Kid-Friendly

“Paparazzi” (2009), Lady Gaga
She’s Literally Singing about a Stalker

“Lips of an Angel” (2006), Hinder
Did They Miss All the Double Entendres in This Song?

#1: “That’s What I Like” (2017)
Bruno Mars

Someone took a look at this song and thought, well let’s just change it to stuff that kids like. So, they came up with strawberry milkshakes, hanging out in your jammies, and hanging by the fire. But we all know that this isn’t what Bruno’s singing about at all. His lyrics describe a more adult kind of evening. Look, credit where credit’s due, their rewrites are pretty inventive and much of it is hilarious. They’ve even changed lines about owning a condo in Manhattan and renting a beach house in Miami. After all, we all know how particular kids can get about property management.