10 Red Flags About Aidan We Overlooked in Sex and the City

10 Red Flags About Aidan That We Overlooked in Sex and the City

Welcome to MsMojo, and today were counting down the times Aidan, the so-called nice guy of Sex and the City, wasnt as nice as we let ourselves believe.

#10: He Couldve Handled the Whole Buying Carries Apartment Thing Better

When Aidan offered to help Carrie buy her apartment to get her out of a sticky situation, he was genuinely trying to be a good boyfriend, at least thats how it came across. And honestly, we agree with Miranda, it was totally reasonable for him to offer to sell it back to her after they broke up. However, did he really need to add the additional time limit? He remembers why he offered to buy it in the first place, right? Surely he didnt think Carrie scraped together the cash that fast after they split. If you ask us, that felt like his way of twisting the knife just a little.

#9: He Could Be Judgmental

It wasnt great of Carrie to betray Mirandas confidence by telling Aidan about her pregnancy, and even worse that the father is his buddy. Sure, this puts Aidan in an awkward spot, but that doesnt excuse how little thought he gives to what this means for Miranda. Hes only focused on Steve. Honestly, you can see why Carrie hesitated to share her own abortion story. Not that Aidan was entitled to every detail of her past, but if she couldnt trust him with something like this, what does that say about their relationship? That said, we will admit, he handled Carries story with far more understanding than he did Mirandas.

#8: He Wasnt Always As Supportive As He Couldve Been

Carrie basically gives up smoking for Aidan, which, sure, might be better for her health in the long run. But anyone whos ever had a dependency knows how tough it is to quit. Now, Aidan was already in a petulant mood thanks to Bigs ill-timed phone call that morning. And look, were not saying he had to just get over it, but he did choose to get back together with Carrie. So taking his rage out on her morning breath was petty, but going after her nicotine patch was so many levels of wrong. Also, the fact that he doesnt apologize tells us it shouldve been over before it began. Or began again.

#7: He Seems to Be Okay with Cheating on His Terms

Lets just say it now, nothing on this list excuses Carries cheating. But Aidans not quite as morally superior as he made himself out to be. When he crosses that line, suddenly things get very morally grey. First, theres that kiss with Carrie in the second movie, even though both of them are married. Was it revenge on Big? Maybe. But what did Aidans wife and kids do to deserve that? And in ...And Just Like That, he reveals he cheated on Carrie with his ex-wife and seems more upset that Carrie is understanding. What does he expect her to do? Passive-aggressively slap a nicotine patch on him this time?

#6: He Didnt Really Accept Carrie for Who She Is

They say opposites attract, but Carrie and Aidan might be the exception. Shes a city girl through and through; give her a night on the town or brunch with the girls, and shes happy. Aidan, on the other hand, is a homebody who thrives out in the country with his best girl by his side. Now, relationships are about compromise, and sometimes that means making room for your partners hobbies and lifestyle. But in this case, Aidan either misses or flat-out ignores the signs that Carries not built for country living. It almost feels like hes trying to mould her into his ideal partner instead of accepting her as she is.

#5: His Conflict Resolution Skills Could Use Some Work

Dont get us wrong, Carrie inviting Big to Aidans cabin was not her finest moment. But Aidan didnt exactly come off as the bigger man here either. Big knows hes the last person Aidan wants to see, but he still tries to make the best of an awkward situation, at the very least for Carries sake. Aidan, meanwhile, chooses a very different route. Neither guy is winning any awards for maturity here, but lets not forget who threw the first muddy ball. Yeah, were with Carrie on this one: not how middle-aged men should be handling conflict. More importantly, not how fully evolved adult humans should be handling it, either.

#4: He Had a Vengeful Side

Sometimes we wonder why Aidan ever got back together with Carrie after her Big affair. He clearly wasnt over it, so what was the idea here? Reignite the flame just so he could burn her with it? Case in point: when Carrie drops by Scout to see Aidan, she finds that the boys night hed told her about was cancelled, but hes made a new friend. He doesnt come home that night, and when she sees him next, hes still flirting with the bartender. Considering this was all after Big's phone call, were sure he knew exactly what he was doing. Its petty, its manipulative, and since when do two wrongs make a right?

#3: Hes Not a Great Communicator

Given everything weve covered so far, it probably wont shock you that Aidan also has some pretty terrible communication skills. Weve already talked about his behavior in the Time and Punishment episode, where he spends the entire time passive-aggressively sulking like a man-child. And well say it again for the folks in the back: no one forced him to get back together with Carrie. Yet once they do, he keeps her on a knife's edge when actually a little healthy communication couldve gone a long way. 20ish later, he's still pretty bad. He lets Carrie give up her apartment before speaking up like he shouldve in the first place.

#2: He Could Be Quite Controlling

Its probably not a great sign when your relationship starts with lies and ultimatumsred flags all around! And look, we all have dealbreakers, but those are our boundaries to uphold, not things we force other people to bend to. Then theres the time he tells Carrie he doesnt want her talking to Big anymore. Sure, the distrust is understandable given their history, but once again, its a clear ultimatum, and it wouldnt be the last. We wish we could say hed grown out of that by the time they reunited in ...And Just Like That, but his controlling behaviour drives a wedge between him and Carrie once again.

#1: He Tried to Force Carrie into Marriage

This might be Aidan at his absolute worst. After Carrie has a panic attack trying on a wedding dress, she realizes shes not ready to get married. While Aidan initially suggests they slow down, it turns out he doesnt really mean it. As they walk home, he suddenly hits fast-forward on the wedding plans. What might seem like a grand romantic cant live without you gesture quickly reveals itself to be about something else entirely. What did he think, married people dont cheat? He did know Big was married, right? Regardless, this is Aidan at his most controlling, possessive, and insecure. And unlike his suit, its not a good look on him.

What do you think was Aidans biggest red flag? Let us know in the comments