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Top 10 Worst Movies of 2018

VO: Phoebe de Jeu WRITTEN BY: Michael Wynands
First of all, don't make the mistake of pitying or defending these movies. We're not even disappointed at this point. These movies just plain sucked. Slender Man? Father of the Year? The Cloverfield Paradox? The 15:17 to Paris? I mean, perhaps these bad movies could've been good movies in a different world where people's taste in cinema was different. But alas.

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What a bunch of stinkers. Welcome to, and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Worst Movies of 2018.

For this list, we’ll be looking at the most disappointing or just downright wretched films of 2018.

#10: “Slender Man” (2018)

Wow… talk about being late on the draw. If you’re going to make a horror film based on an online urban legend, you’ve really got to rush it into production, striking while the topic is hot. The Internet moves quickly, and Slender Man did NOT feel relevant in 2018. You’d think that, at the very least, the creative team behind this film would have put those years to good use crafting a film worthy of the iconic creepypasta, but apparently not! Talented actors are given thinly-sketched characters (oh, the irony) and the scares are bargain bin at best. Slender Man is supposedly unstoppable, but this movie sure feels like a deathblow to the character’s appeal.

#9: “Terminal” (2018)

Margot Robbie has more than proven herself as an actor. She wows in great films like “I, Tonya” and manages to uplift weaker ones like “Suicide Squad”. Unfortunately, not even her acting ability can save this weird movie from itself. “Terminal” is a neo-noir film with an eyebrow-raising cast that includes Simon Pegg and Mike Myers. Robbie’s starring performance was favorably singled out by critics, but the movie was otherwise dismissed as being all style and no substance. It features a convoluted plot, rife with twists and turns, but ultimately lacks originality or any cause for emotional investment. It’s a mess and unfortunately, a joyless one.

#8: “I Feel Pretty” (2018)

Ugh… the margin by which this film missed its mark is, quite frankly, staggering. Amy Schumer is an undeniably talented comedic actor and as “Trainwreck” proved, she’s more than capable of carrying a film. We just wish she’d star in better ones. The premise of “I Feel Pretty” is solid: a woman with a poor body image and low self-confidence wakes up after an accident and suddenly sees herself as beautiful. Fun, right? Unfortunately, from there it totally misses its own point, ultimately offending rather than empowering, often treating Schumer’s character as the butt of the joke.

#7: “Father of the Year” (2018)

This groan-inducing David Spade Netflix comedy makes “Joe Dirt” look like a classic in hindsight, and that’s really saying something. In “Father of the Year”, Spade trades in his white trash, mullet-wearing janitor for an unemployed, deadbeat alcoholic dad. The plot? Spade’s character, Wayne, tries to win his son’s affection and respect by . .. beating up the son’s friend’s dad, played by Nat Faxon. It’s crass, it’s dull and it received 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Honestly, we would have given this film a higher spot on our list if people had actually paid any attention to it whatsoever.

#6: “The Cloverfield Paradox” (2018)

“Cloverfield” may not have been a masterpiece, but when it comes to found footage horror flicks, it’s a close second to “The Blair Witch Project”, and it’s one that gave birth to a shared universe. “10 Cloverfield Lane” was a sharp left turn, but a critically-acclaimed one that, like original “Cloverfield”, succeeded by being unafraid to get creative. So what the heck happened with “The Cloverfield Paradox”? It came armed with a solid ensemble cast and seemingly promised answers to long-burning Cloverfield-related questions. Instead, it taught us nothing, spinning its wheels in a swamp of sci-fi trappings, totally bogged down by its own bad science, expository dialogue and just generally clunky plot.

#5: “The 15:17 to Paris” (2018)

Even if Clint Eastwood were to produce nothing but duds for the rest of his life, his legacy is established and secure. With that being said, let’s dive into this massive misstep from the usually excellent director. Eastwood is unabashedly patriotic and big on American heroes, so we can understand his desire to pay tribute to Spencer Stone, Anthony Sadler, and Alek Skarlatos for their role in thwarting a train attack. Casting the real-life heroes as themselves however? Not so much. The non-actors do their best, but their inexperience sinks a film already struggling with pacing and script problems.

#4: “Truth or Dare” (2018)

Armed with teen drama darlings Lucy Hale, of “Pretty Little Liars” fame and “Teen Wolf’s” Tyler Posey, this film was guaranteed to be a financial homerun. Sure enough, on a budget of under $4 million, “Truth or Dare” generated nearly $100 million at the box office. But, given that both of those stars come from fairly well-regarded shows, we kind of expected a better quality horror flick for our money. We weren’t asking for a masterpiece you know, just something halfway decent. But it’s a cliche-ridden story that fails deliver the requisite scares or even creative character deaths. It’s a paint by numbers horror flick, and the end result is a thoroughly boring picture.

#3: “Show Dogs” (2018)

Talking animals movies are rarely good, but even in a genre defined by low standards, “Show Dogs” is particularly bad. Starring Will Arnett and Ludacris, “Show Dogs” centers on a eye-rolling premise about undercover cops (both human and canine) at a dog show. Not only is the film not funny, it also bears the unfortunate distinction of having originally been accused by parents’ organizations of containing a scene normalizing “child grooming” for abuse. The studio actually apologized, pulled the movie from theaters, then re-edited and re-released it. Congratulations “Show Dogs”, you’ve earned the title of “Best in Show” at the “2018 Terrible Animal Movie Awards”, despite “A.X.L.” at your heels.

#2: “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018)

There’s actually one thing that most critics really appreciated about “Fifty Shades Freed” - that it’s the last film in the trilogy! The franchise raked in well over a billion dollars across the three instalments and we have no one but ourselves, as movie-watchers, to blame for the fact that they all got made. Like the two movies that preceded it, “Fifty Shades Freed” was mercilessly torn to shreds by critics while its makers laughed all the way to the bank. The thriller subplot does absolutely nothing to elevate the film, and really, they should have just focused on the erotica and sex the audience wanted to see.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions

“Death Wish” (2018)

“Sherlock Gnomes” (2018)

“Winchester” (2018)

“The Outsider” (2018)

#1: “Gotti” (2018)

Infamous New York mobster John Gotti deserves an epic big screen biopic. Sadly, this was definitely not that. With the likes of Barry Levinson and Al Pacino attached at one point, it could have been THE definitive Gotti film. Unfortunately, it languished in development hell for years and the finished product, well... it feels like it’s been through hell. What could have been a comeback for Travolta is instead just another chapter in a career gone askew. His performance is good, but not great, in an otherwise shockingly bad film; its 0% rating is well-deserved. Now excuse us while we go watch the 1996 made-for-TV “Gotti”, which now looks like a masterpiece.


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