Related Videos

Top 10 Stupidest Lyrics in British Music

VO: Richard Bush
Written by Sean Harris It’s poetry demotion. Welcome to WatchMojo UK and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the top 10 stupidest lyrics in British music! For this list, we’ve loaded up the jukebox with awkward rhymes and dodgy metaphors, for a tuneful takedown of the most laughable lyrics ever written by British bands and artists. Special thanks to our user WordToTheWes for submitting the idea on our interactive suggestion tool: WatchMojo.comsuggest
Share
WatchMojo

You must register to a corporate account to download this video. Please login

Transcript

Top 10 Stupidest Lyrics in British Music


It’s poetry demotion. Welcome to WatchMojo UK and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the top 10 stupidest lyrics in British music!

For this list, we’ve loaded up the jukebox with awkward rhymes and dodgy metaphors, for a tuneful takedown of the most laughable lyrics ever written by British bands and artists.

#10: So Many Lyrics
“Let’s Get Ready to Rhumble” (1994) by PJ & Duncan

Messrs Ant & Dec have clearly moved on from their days as Britain’s next big hip-hop duo, but “Let’s Get Ready to Rhumble” still stands as a mid-‘90s anthem. A song stacked with cheesy rhymes and awkward dance moves, there is a certain irony to a lot of these lines… But this colossal claim is just a stretch too far. If they’re frightened to use them, then we’re definitely frightened to hear them. Thankfully the ‘twosome’ turned to tele shortly after this.

#9: I Used to be in 1D
“Strip That Down” (2017) by Liam Payne

When the One Direction boys flew their boyband nest, it was all eyes on what each would achieve next. And in terms of dodgy lyrics, Niall got sweaty; and Harry got racy; But Liam wins with this underwhelming throwback to the group he’s apparently trying to forget. Because if he’s so ‘free’ of 1D, why mention them in the middle of his debut solo single? Given that Liam’s track also came after individual efforts from every other band member, it’s all a bit embarrassing.

#8: Cider from a Lemon
“Buck Rogers” (2001) by Feeder

Welsh rockers Feeder carded some sing-along classics in their heyday, but “Buck Rogers’ was perhaps the pinnacle of their pop rock run. Built on short verses and a catchy chorus, it was a festival favourite in the early 2000s. Although this line left us guessing. Desperate to rhyme something with ‘Devon’, they ‘drink cider from a lemon’ – because what the heck does that even mean? Get a house somewhere else and leave the citrus fruits alone.

#7: I Know You Love Shrek
“Wake Me Up” (2011) by Ed Sheeran

As arguably one of the most influential songwriters in contemporary pop music, Ed Sheeran’s usually praised for his lyrical prowess. But he fell a smidge short with this unexpected reference to everybody’s favourite early-noughties ogre. In amongst love-struck sentiments about bubble baths and walks on the beach, the nod to “Shrek” is almost cute and original – but not quite. It’s not like an onion. It doesn’t have emotional layers. It’s just silly.

#6: Like a Plate Tectonic
“Oh My God” (2004) by Kaiser Chiefs

Released in 2004, re-issued in 2005 and reworked by Mark Ronson in 2007, this record was everywhere in the mid-2000s. And its success is even more impressive given that Ricky Wilson spouts this gibberish four lines in. While trying to illustrate the soul-crushing boredom of everyday life, he closes the first verse with this grossly overblown and grammatically amiss mangling of basic scientific terms. Still, the second verse ends with a delightful dig on dentistry, so it’s not all bad.

#5: Jaws Was Never My Scene
“Bicycle Race” (1978) by Queen

As undisputed icons of British rock music, Queen typically served up stellar lyrics, incomparable vocals and iconic instrumentals. But, though “Bicycle Race’ is a pretty popular track, it has most of us scratching our heads here;.0 The basic premise is pretty simple. You say something, Freddie Mercury says something else. But does a random disliking of “Jaws” and “Star Wars” really follow on? Or was it just a clumsy attempt to crowbar in some pop culture references? You decide.

#4: Am I Asleep?
“Wild” (2013) by Jessie J

With UK number ones including definitive pop hits like “Bang Bang” and “Price Tag”, Jessie J’s back catalogue is rich with success. And after winning the Chinese reality show “Singer 2018”, her worldwide popularity is clear - but her lyrics haven’t always been crystal. And this line from 2013’s “Wild” ranks as the worst, with Jessie blurring all boundaries between living, breathing, death and naptime. Yes, it’s not meant to be taken literally, but we actually do die a little bit inside every time she sings it.

#3: I Couldn’t Live Without My Phone
“If That Were Me” (2000) by Mel C

Much like One Direction, when the Spice Girls split every former member sought solo success. And Mel C faired fairly well at first - scoring back-to-back number ones in the year 2000. “If That Were Me” wasn’t one of her best, though. Aiming to address issues relating to homelessness, Sporty rattles through a series of insensitive and ill-judged lyrics – rounding it off with this ridiculous rhyme. If anything proves how out of touch pop stars can be, it’s this song.

#2: I Met a Girl…
“Somewhere Else” (2005) by Razorlight

Indie rock bands usually aim for edgy and insightful lyrics. So, what went wrong here? With Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell writing the words for this pop/rock crossover hit, he builds a boy-meets-girl story – and wastes three whole lines explaining basic conversation. But this isn’t hard-hitting realism, it’s just mind-numbing rubbish, delivered with just enough pretentiousness to annoy us even more. It’s no wonder he craves ‘somewhere else’… After hearing this, we all do.

#1: A Piece of Toast
“Life” (1998) by Des’ree

As we’ve heard, the constant quest for words that rhyme can cause some questionable lyrical decisions. But none more so than this. “Life” was R&B star Des’ree’s biggest worldwide hit, topping charts in Europe and breaking the top 10 in the UK. These lines are its lasting legacy, though. Breaching the gap between the afterlife and breakfast, the ghost/toast pairing is uniquely dreadful. Thankfully, the rest of the song is full-on feel-good, so at least everyone can smile about it.

Comments

Sign in to access this feature

Related Blogs