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Top 10 Craziest F*cking Things In Far Cry 5!

VO: Daniel Paradis WRITTEN BY: Nathan Sharp
Script written by Nathan Sharp "Far Cry 5" pushes the limits of the absurd with a whole bunch of WTF moments that will keep you entertained and on the edge of your seat! Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Craziest F*cking Things In Far Cry 5! To get your ideas made into a WatchMojo OR MojoPlays video, head on down to http://WatchMojo.comsuggest
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Top 10 Craziest F*cking Things in Far Cry 5

There’s no shortage of entertainment in this game, that’s for sure. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top ten craziest fucking things in “Far Cry 5.”

For this list, we’ll be ranking the most insane, ridiculous, and crazy things that can and do happen in “Far Cry 5.” We’ll be discussing various plot points throughout this list, so a spoiler warning is in effect.

#10: Peaches and Cheeseburger


There have been animal companions before throughout the “Far Cry” series, but none compare to the sheer awesomeness that are Peaches and Cheeseburger. You acquire the mountain lion Peaches after the mission Here Kitty, Kitty, and once acquired, you can make her stalk prey in tall grass or sick her on unsuspecting enemies. Cheeseburger is a freaking grizzly bear that was nurtured back to health by Wade and also serves as a Fang for Hire throughout the game. Having both animals at your disposal wields wicked results, and nothing makes us prouder than watching our little babies ripping the throats out of some poor soul.

#9: Shovel Spear


In a game full of incredible weapons, players have taken a weird liking to the…shovel. Yes, the shovel. The shovel serves as both a melee weapon and projectile, as you can bash people over the head with it or throw it like a javelin and impale your targets. It’s so much fun using the shovel spear that it has become the game’s go-to weapon. Players are creating shovel challenges, doing shovel-only playthroughs, making memes, posting hilarious YouTube montages, and writing amazing Steam reviews based entirely around the freaking shovel. Now if only using a real shovel was this much fun…

#8: O’Hara’s Haunted House


Honestly, who doesn’t love a good haunted house? O’Hara’s Haunted House is a prepper stash that you can find in the northwest of Dead Man’s River. Once turning on the power, you are forced to walk through the campy haunted house as things jump out at you from the shadows, animatronic people charge at you with knives, and creepy screams emanate throughout the house. It’s a lot of fun, and it brings up memories of summer vacations and walking through similar haunted houses with your friends. Like this one, they are all terribly corny, but we love ‘em anyway.

#7: John Seed “Absolves” Nick Rye of His Sins


The “Far Cry” series has gone to some very dark and disturbing places, but perhaps no scene in the series is as upsetting as John Seed’s attack on Nick Rye. In this particularly brutal cutscene, Rye is pinned to the ground while Seed cuts a chunk of flesh from his chest. He then takes the chunk of skin and literally staples it to the wall while Rye rolls on the floor in pain. If you in turn refuse to renounce your sins, Jerome is brutally beaten in front of your eyes. It’s a nasty scene that cements Seed as one of “Far Cry’s” greatest villains.

#6: Those Damn Turkeys!


The “Far Cry” games have always been riddled with dangerous predators. We have come to expect the odd attack from a hungry bear or an eagle that wants your eyes for its trophy wall. But nothing could have prepared us for these damn turkeys! Like the shovel, the turkeys have become one of “Far Cry 5’s” breakout elements. Many people are discussing the bloodthirsty birds on social media and posting hilarious (and may we add, terrifying) turkey-related videos on YouTube. “Dark Souls” pales in comparison to the sheer pain-in-the-ass that is dealing with “Far Cry 5’s” wild turkeys.

#5: Burn, Baby, Burn


“Far Cry 3” had a particularly awesome mission that saw you burning down a weed field while Make It Bun Dem played in the background. Sharky’s recruitment mission is “Far Cry 5’s” answer to that. The mission begins when you speak to the hilarious, flamethrower and music-loving Sharky Boshaw. What follows is pure action bliss, as you kill angels and Sharky sets them on fire while The Trammps’ Disco Inferno plays over the loudspeaker. The combination of Sharky’s funny interjections, the carnage at hand, and the fun music come together to make one of the game’s best missions.

#4: The “Blood Dragon” Missions


There was an amazing piece of DLC for “Far Cry 3” titled “Blood Dragon” which took its inspiration from 80s movies, complete with old-fashioned neon title screens and synthesized music. It was praised for its originality, which is perhaps why they decided to bring it back for a few missions in “Far Cry 5.” In the game, movie director Guy Marvel is shooting “Blood Dragon 3.” In one mission, you help ensure it stays quiet on the set, and in the second mission, you help him film a scene from the movie. It’s a brilliant throwback to one of “Far Cry’s” most original entries and a welcome break from the darkness that permeates “Far Cry 5.”

#3: When You Accidentally Kill Eli


Well that was one…interesting outcome. Still, we have to give Ubisoft props for integrating Eli’s death in such a personal and unique way. As part of Jacob Seed’s hypnotic sequence, you are forced to run through a challenging area while a timer runs down. Throughout the entire mission you are on edge, which results in you instinctively shooting Eli as you round a corner. You aren’t expecting anything of the sort, and when you snap back to reality and see Eli drop dead, your heart can’t help but sink. Well done, Ubisoft. You got us.

#2: The Testicle Festival


In one particularly weird side mission, you are tasked with helping the town with their annual Testicle Festival, which is supposedly based on a real festival in Montana. In the mission, you are forced to watch bulls have sex with cows while Marvin Gaye plays in the background. If that wasn’t enough, you are then forced to cut the testicles off the bulls so that festival-goers can chomp on their deep fried testees. We can’t think of any other game that has done something like this, and it continues “Far Cry’s” streak of weird and ultimately hilarious missions.

#1: Everything with Faith


God damn do we love us some Faith Seed. Faith is the manufacturer of the local drug Bliss, which is used to keep the cult’s members in a constant state of euphoria. Every scene involving Faith occurs in a state of hallucination, ensuring that every interaction with her is a complete trip. In these hallucinations, it appears as if Faith sprouts wings and flies, and she can also run at abnormally fast speeds. If you also happen to walk into the plant used in Bliss production, you enter a hallucinogenic state complete with white dots and trippy colors. While we don’t condone real drug use, Bliss is a total blast.
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