Top 10 Hilarious Movie Masturbation Scenes

Credits: Rebecca Brayton Sean Harris
Script written by Sean Harris. Sometimes self-love just has us in stitches! In this video, WatchMojo.com counts down our picks for the top 10 hilarious movie masturbation scenes! For this list, we’ve looked at movie masturbation scenes that also have a comedic element. The funnier and the filthier they are, the further up this list they’ll be! Boy or girl, in public or private, these movie scenes make for uncomfortable viewing but tons of laughs! WARNING: Mature Content. Special thanks to our users Slipknot2014 and Jennifer Parsons for submitting the idea on our Suggestions Page at WatchMojo.comsuggest
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Transcript
Script written by Sean Harris.

Top 10 Hilarious Movie Masturbation Scenes


Sometimes self-love just has us in stitches! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 hilarious movie masturbation scenes!

For this list, we’ve looked at movie masturbation scenes that also have a comedic element. The funnier and the filthier they are, the further up this list they’ll be!

#10: Chucky
“Seed of Chucky” (2004)

Voyeurism meets ventriloquism in our first clip (well, sort of), as an overly cheerful Chucky takes to an open window to orchestrate his happiness - and is caught loving himself by a camera-happy John Waters, the godfather of bizarre smut himself. There’s something about his breathing uncontrollably that has us laughing uncontrollably! There’s real human sex being initiated downstairs, but we don’t even care about that! It’s not every day that you get to spy on self-love in puppet form! Enjoy it... Just not as much as Chucky does!

#9: Lester Burnham
“American Beauty” (1999)

When a midlife crisis meets Mena Suvari, some tragicomedic touching of oneself is almost inevitable. Kevin Spacey’s Lester Burnham is suffering an existential crisis, compounded by the fact that his marriage has become an honest-to-god sex desert. He was looking forward to alone time in the shower, but he can’t be bothered with the bathroom anymore. It’s the middle of the night and you’re lying next to your wife who no longer wants to sex you. What’s the best thing to do in that situation? Sex yourself of course! Go Spacey, Go!

#8: Brandy Klark
“The To Do List” (2013)

She’s A+ at school, but she’s D-minus in the bedroom and Brandy Klark is ticking the most personal of sexual experiences off her ‘To Do List’. Self-pleasure is all-new to this nerd, played by universal nerd crush Aubrey Plaza. She’s tentative at first, but one aloe vera-themed fantasy later and she’s riding her pillow all the way to freaky-ville! Being walked in on is never fun, but when you’ve mounted your own bed sheets and your spectacles are hanging from your nose, it’s awkward to the extreme!

#7: Fred Searing
“Hall Pass” (2011)

What to do when your wife doesn’t want sex? If you’re Jason Sudeikis, you head to the car, turn up the radio, and go to town! In this scene, Fred is ‘dancing’ as if no one is watching, but unfortunately for him two people are watching, and they’re cops! It’s the least erotic of erotic entertainment for these enforcers of the law, and they quickly step in to send Fred home. He knows he’s in the doghouse tonight... But if a car doesn’t stop him then neither will a kennel!

#6: Jon Martello
“Don Jon” (2013)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt leaves it all on the screen here (ahem!), as he sweats over the eye-catching, the colorful and the kinky! In a movie that explores the realities of Internet porn addiction, Jon walks us through his process in intimate detail. Toward the end we get some insight into the psychological appeal of pornography and the Kleenex at the climax leaves nothing in doubt, and everything in the open. This is masturbation at its most awkwardly honest!

#5: Ethan Tremblay
“Due Date” (2010)

Some people read themselves to sleep… on a bad day they might cry themselves to sleep… But Ethan Tremblay? He needs 35-minutes of masturbation (Approximately) to get his 40 winks, no matter the time or place. It just so happens that this time and place is in the cramped quarters of a car, in the company of a relative stranger, played by Robert Downey, Jr. It’s a horrendous image, with an equally unattractive backing track: it’s the squelching that keeps RDJ awake… Then there’s the doggie-style going on in the back seat!

#4: President Prime Minister Admiral General Haffaz Aladeen
“The Dictator” (2012)

At number four, it’s ‘silly’, then stimulating, then sticky! The Dic-tator focuses on his own first syllable here, and does so with unbridled enthusiasm! This is General Aladeen’s first foray into self-love and it’s a life-changing experience. The soundtrack is inspiring, the Forrest Gump imagery is... odd, and the facial expressions are... well... disturbing! Yet, there’s something about Sacha Baron Cohen touching himself that’s terribly funny, and just plain terrible. Some people may wait a lifetime for a moment like this, but we now have it seared into our sub-conscious forever!

#3: Alex
“Grandma’s Boy” (2006)

Having Lara Croft in the bathroom might not be such a bad thing... but for ‘Grandma’s Boy’ Alex, the situation is more plastic than perfect! If you can’t get the genuine article, then a 10-inch figurine originally designed for children is the next best thing, right? The doll’s perched atop the toilet with those ‘come and get me’ eyes (painted on during manufacturing) and she’s forgotten to wear underwear... It doesn’t get hotter, or more hilarious, than this! Pro tip: after knocking, wait a minute before opening the door.

#2: Jim Levenstein
“American Pie 2” (2001)

Jim’s endured his share of wacky whacking situations, but none was as painful as this. One thing you definitely do not need during teenage-boy alone time is industrial strength superglue... Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Jim’s accidentally coated his manhood in! Glue, lube... It’s an easy mistake to make, but a very difficult one to undo! With private parts in one hand and porn movie in the other, Jim must get out of an all-too-sticky situation with as little fuss as possible... Of course, when it comes to Jim and sexually embarrassing situations, things can only escalate!

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Donny Berger
“That’s My Boy” (2012)
- Beth
“The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005)
- White Goodman
“DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story” (2004)
- Janey Briggs
“Not Another Teen Movie” (2001)

#1: Ted Stroehmann
“There’s Something About Mary” (1998)

You’d think a modern day gal would know her hair products from her ‘happy juice’, but Mary just isn’t like other girls! As Ted, Ben Stiller tactically unloads before a date with Diaz, but he misplaces his produce... and the subsequent misunderstanding leads to one of cinema’s most memorable hairdos! Stiller’s sex face is to die for, but Mary’s fringe is funnier than all other movie masturbatory moments! It has an extra strong hold on our gold medal!

Do you agree with our list? Whose self-satisfaction did we skip? For more turned on Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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