15 
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1"D'oh!"
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2"What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway."
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3"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
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4"Oh my god, space aliens. Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"
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5"Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret Lover."
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6"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
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7"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
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8For Once maybe someone will call me sir without adding "You're Making a Scene" suggested bywx30th
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9"I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T"
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10"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you."
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11"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
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12"Boy, when I get home I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck and smother you with kiss" suggested byFreemantle_uk
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13"But Marge, a gun is a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or uhh... an alligator."
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14This has purple stuff. Purple is a fruit.
