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#10: Don’t Dispute the Judge’s Questions
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Fewer things raise alarm bells faster than a litigant refusing to answer the Judge’s questions. In this case, the plaintiff, who allegedly stayed with the defendant while completing work on his home, argues that she was wrongly evicted. However, she’s reluctant to actually state any facts, averts eye contact, and ruffles through documents instead. Her argument has less foundation than the house she supposedly worked on, leading the Judge to question her disability benefits. It takes a lot of guts or just plain stupidity to try and school the Judge about legal proceedings. Plus, the plaintiff’s cackle as her case gets dismissed is equally ridiculous.
#9: We’re Done!
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A surefire way to ensure your case gets dismissed is by talking back to the Judge. This case about a car was crazy enough with both litigants clearly unprepared to face the fearsome Judge Judy. The plaintiff struggles to listen while the Judge explains what she did wrong. Her numerous attempts to interrupt are hilarious, but she probably should have just stayed silent since she only contradicts herself. Her attempts to argue back fall upon deaf ears, and even her look of disgust doesn’t get the Judge riled up even a smidge. We’re all for litigants clapping back, but this one just fell flat.
#8: “Silence Is Golden”
Just a piece of advice: don’t take out your frustrations on the person presiding over your case. We’re not sure what the plaintiff thought would happen when he entered Judge Judy’s court, but he’s frustrated and wants everyone to know. His overwhelming rage clouds his judgment, and he consistently mouths off, much to the Judge’s annoyance. If he’d heeded her advice and stopped talking, he actually would have won — after all, he’d given her all the proof she needed to rule in his favor. Instead, he shoots himself in the foot, leaving her with no choice but to dismiss his claim.
#7: A Heated Debate
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This case was a little different as it sparked a debate about legalizing certain substances. The defendants argue that people need drugs to deal with an unjust society. One of their witnesses, an ex-dealer, says that he’d do anything to make money and doesn’t care what happens after. It’s clear that there are many vehement voices concerning this matter, and everyone wants their opinion heard. A court case isn’t often open for discussion, but listening to everyone’s impassioned arguments is particularly captivating. However, no matter how much they argue back, nothing can penetrate the Judge’s no-tolerance approach to selling substances.
#6: “What Is Rocket Science?”
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You know those moments that have you groaning out loud and rubbing your temples? Yes, this is one of those. The plaintiff wants reimbursement after her friend jokingly pushed her into a pool while she was holding her iPhone. You don’t need to be a judge to suss out the most logical solution. Or, as Judge Judy says, it’s not rocket science. She then asks what rocket science is, to which the defendant responds. When the whole court bursts out laughing, she meekly tries to backtrack. It just goes to show that sometimes it’s best to say nothing.
#5: But Does He Want His TV Back?
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In this preposterous discord between ex-partners, Judge Judy finds herself going head-to-head with an incessantly hard-headed litigant. She asks him if he wants his TV back, but something tells us that this was never about the television in the first place. Rather than answer the Judge’s pretty straightforward question, he argues back or poses questions of his own. Once that matter is settled, the whole argument starts again over a computer. He’s clearly come to court assured that the Judge would rule in his favor. So, when that doesn’t happen, he refuses to go down without a fight. Fortunately, he’s no match for Judge Judy.
#4: Whose Episode Is It Anyway?
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You should never try and out sass the Judge unless you want to forever live in infamy on the internet. While speaking to the defendant, she learns that he’s fathered ten children from “about” four different women — whatever that means. He then tries to inappropriately joke that one of those women is Sheindlin’s daughter. As you can imagine, that doesn’t go over too well with the no-nonsense Judge. When she calls him out, he has an even snarkier response. He got off relatively unscathed, given Judy’s typical wrath, if you ask us. That doesn’t mean he leaves in one piece either, which he probably deserved.
#3: Loserds!
To be honest, the defendant’s attitude here is so perplexing that it’s almost hard to believe that this is an actual “Judge Judy” episode. We were almost expecting dancing lobsters to enter at the end; it’s that ridiculous. The defendant, until now, hasn’t exactly proven to be the sharpest tool in the toolbox. When the Judge asks her why she cursed at the plaintiff and his friends, her answer just tips us over the edge. The best part is the look of shock on the defendants’ faces when things don’t go their way. Well, you know what they say, you win some, you “loserds” some.
#2: The Judge Hears All
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Just a little lesson in courtroom 101: the Judge’s say is final. And some extra advice for anyone seeking “Judy Justice”: this Judge hears everything. In this case, the defendant digs himself into a hole when he audibly rejects her ruling about a dog. He probably thought he’d outsmarted her by muttering his indignation under his breath, but we guess he forgot he was mic’d up. The Judge heard him, the plaintiff heard him, the whole court heard him, and we most definitely heard him. It’s one of those moments where seeing the Judge turn on beast mode is incredibly gratifying. She placed him under her metaphorical gavel and came down hard.
#1: Don’t Push Back; Just Push Off
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Judy has very little patience for disrespectful or aggressive litigants. In this case about gun ownership, a member of the defendants’ party gets kicked out for mouthing off. His buddy reacts with a pretty ominous statement directed at Sheindlin. She orders him ejected as well, but in an attempt to have the final word, he suggests that one should take a test to become a judge. Perhaps his smart mouth would have more impact if a) he was familiar with the state bar association and b) he knew how to open a door. His second attempt at firing back gets drowned out by the sound of the audiences’ laughter.
