Top 10 Hilariously Bad Moments In Video Game Movies

#10: Wesker’s Sunglasses
“Resident Evil: Afterlife” (2010)
The “Resident Evil” series of movies are... interesting. At the start of their run, they actually weren’t terrible, we dare say that they were... enjoyable? But then came overpowered Alice. Clones. A cluster of CGI. 3D. That damn laser room scene being reused like Tupperware. And, of course, an attempt to appease fans by including game favorites like, sigh, Albert Wesker -- the man, the myth, the sunglasses. Look, we adore our cheesy, “Matrix” jacket wearing villain, but movie Wesker? He’s hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Seriously, what are we supposed to make of that shit-eating grin and slow-motion sunglasses toss?
#9: The Elevator Scene
“Super Mario Bros.” (1993)
This movie is the live-action personification of the world “Huh?!” From the perplexing opening narration, to the film having the nerve to hint at a sequel, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario’s cinematic adventure is a disastrous masterpiece. By the time you reach the elevator scene, you just... accept the goofiness for what it is. How will our heroes escape a cramped space full of... those are supposed to be Goombas, right? Will they jump on their heads? Or... sway their bodies in time with the elevator music to get them to dance...? We suppose it’s the most humane way of going about it.
#8: Punching The Shark
“Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life” (2003)
Sometimes, video game movies do get something right. Angelina Jolie playing Lara Croft just made sense in the early 2000s. That being said... did she really just punch a shark? Ok, yes, it’s been said that punching a shark near its eye is the best thing to do in the rare —yes, rare — chance of an attack, but Lara, being Lara, takes safety precautions to a whole new level of absurdity. Not only does she bait the shark with her blood — which wouldn’t work, as sharks don’t care much for humans — she punches it and RIDES IT TO THE SURFACE OF THE WATER!
#7: Guile’s Speech
“Street Fighter” (1994)
Let’s take a moment to appreciate Raul Julia’s performance as M. Bison, because we’ll never look at Tuesdays the same way again. Now that that’s out of the way... Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile? Not even Guile’s theme can save us — though we would’ve appreciated the effort in this supposedly inspirational scene. When his troops are told to stop their pursuit of M. Bison and Shadaloo, Guile gears up for one of those cliché “leader addressing his people” monologues. It comes off as a hammed up bore, complete with swelling music and a repetitive phrase. Who wants to go home? We do.
#6: Feel Your Animality
“Mortal Kombat: Annihilation” (1997)
Yes, we could do an entire list for this movie alone and picking just one hilarious scene had us fighting it out on the pit stage. From Sindel’s dramatic declaration of death to her daughter, to Jax’s one-liners, to... everything, absolutely everything. But there’s one scene that perfectly captures the terribad that is “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.” Throughout the movie we’re being force fed the concept of Animalities, and immediately your heart fills with a mix of anticipation and dread because you know they’re gonna do it. Come on. Just scrunch your face up like you’re constipated. Almost. And... BOOM! Animality! Times two!
#5: Sword Fight
“In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale” (2007)
Ladies and gentlemen: Uwe Boll. We wouldn’t blame you if you decided to bail on the rest of this video. If you’re still here, then clearly, you’re a masochist. Boll has tried his hand at bringing several video game properties to life — and we’ll be covering a couple more later. “Dungeon Siege” shows the director’s attempt at medieval fantasy and trust us when we say that children playing in their backyard, pretending like sticks are swords, is a more thrilling adventure. However, if you’re into clumsy sword fights where two foes use their... minds... to do... whatever this is, then this is the film for you.
#4: Zombie Slaughter
“House of the Dead” (2003)
You know that light gun shooter that’s at every arcade? Yeah, Boll turned that into a movie. There’s a huge party on a zombie infested island that was, apparently, sponsored by Sega? Everyone’s just trying to survive the undead... and the clips from the video game being spliced into the film. This leads to one glorious moment where everyone grabs a gun, walks toward the camera as a team, and goes to town. Highlights include: the camera circling around each character who... have different guns during that shot? That damn Matrix slow-motion trick. And to top it all off: a rock song that belts out the name of the film. Perfect.
#3: Little Germany
“Postal” (2007)
Some games just aren’t meant to be made into movies, and anything from the “Postal” series is a testament to that. The ability to kill the annoyances of everyday life doesn’t make for great cinema, but hey, Uwe Boll is Uwe Boll, and we got the “Postal” movie that no one asked for. In a rather bizarre scene — even for Boll — the creator of the game shows up to complain directly to Boll about the quality of the movie in the middle of a shootout at a German themed amusement park. It ends with Boll being shot in the crotch and revealing his darkest secret.
#2: Do Me Up
“DOA: Dead or Alive” (2006)
Look. We get it. When you’re adapting a movie you wanna have nods to the source material. This can be through costumes, plot points, or in the case of DOA: gratuitous amounts of fan service. It’s no secret that this fighting game franchise likes its bouncy polygons, so no one should be surprised at the manufactured sexuality of the film... but this scene right here? Phew, this is too much. Fresh from a shower — of course — Christie finds herself under arrest. Don’t worry, she’s armed with a towel, just the right camera angles, and a bra that lands on her breasts perfectly. You heard the woman.
Before we get to the best of the worst, let’s give a “you tried” sticker to these dishonorable mentions:
Rosie!
“Wing Commander” (1999)
Lee Brothers’ Transformation
“Double Dragon” (1994)
First Person POV
“Doom” (2005)
Your Brain on Drugs
”Max Payne” (2008)
Zombie Test
“Resident Evil: Extinction” (2007)
#1: Best Death Ever
“BloodRayne” (2005)
We’ve tackled this beast before over on our MojoPlays channel, picked it apart and left scraps of it on the cutting room floor, but it bears repeating: this movie is abysmal, a disservice to the game it’s trying to represent, a disservice to movies everywhere. Picking just one bad scene is laughable since every minute makes you wanna beg for a higher power’s forgiveness, because clearly, you had to have sinned, why else would you be subjected to this torture? But we had to give it to Michael Madsen’s performance — especially his death scene. Just look at that face. That face is all of our faces after suffering through this flick. We’re with you, Michael. We’re with you.
