Top 10 Dumbest Decisions in the MonsterVerse
#10: Splitting Up
“Godzilla” (2014) As San Francisco is evacuated, only clinical patients and children are being taken to the shelters. Elle thus stays behind and puts Sam on a bus with a co-worker. It’s a difficult decision, but Elle assumes Sam is safe. There are two things we’ve learned from monster movies, though: never split up and avoid national landmarks. And wouldn’t you know it, the bus needs to travel over the Golden Gate Bridge. While the bus narrowly escapes a close encounter with Godzilla, Sam came this close to going down with the bridge. To be fair, Sam still would’ve been in jeopardy if he had stayed with Elle, but having his mother around might’ve made the ordeal a little less traumatic. We suppose it worked out regardless.
#9: Playing with Fire
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“Kong: Skull Island” (2017) As Hank Marlow warns everyone, crossing through a grave site that literally smells of death is a big no-no. Despite the foreboding fumes and massive bones, Packard insists on pressing forward. We guess we could justify this decision if the characters were extra careful. Instead, Cole chooses now of all times for a smoke break and his discarded cigarette triggers an explosion. Although Randa condemns Cole for his ineptitude, he isn’t much smarter. Turns out that using a camera with a loud flash isn’t the best idea. By the time Randa realizes this, he’s already in the Skullcrawler’s mouth. At least Weaver saves the day by throwing a trusty lighter into one of the vents. Maybe she should’ve been the one on flamethrower duty.
#8: Not Building Another ORCA
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“Godzilla vs. Kong” (2021) “King of the Monsters” introduces the ORCA, a device that allows people to communicate with the Titans and, in some cases, calm them down. The ORCA can be a deadly force in the wrong hands, and even in the right hands it doesn’t always have the desired effect. With some more research and refinements, though, the ORCA could be the ultimate link between humans and Titans. After the ORCA is destroyed, however, our heroes apparently don’t consider building another one. While Jia is able to communicate with Kong through sign language, having a new and improved ORCA on hand would’ve been helpful for when Godzilla enters the picture. Who knows? Maybe it could’ve been used to ease tensions and broker peace between the two Titans.
#7: Cole’s Sacrifice
“Kong: Skull Island” (2017) Several MonsterVerse characters have made noble sacrifices that, in hindsight, could’ve been avoided. Sure, Godzilla needed a nuclear jumpstart, but maybe it would’ve been smarter to get another submarine with a function firing system. You know, instead of sacrificing the scientist who knows the most about Godzilla. Emma didn’t need to drive off with the ORCA to lure Ghidorah. She could’ve left it on the ground and flown off with her family before Ghidorah arrived. The most questionable sacrifice comes from Earl Cole, who decides to blow himself up with the Skull Devil. The monster is too smart for that, however. The Skull Devil doesn’t take the bait and tail-whips Cole away before he explodes. At most, Cole’s sacrifice bought his friends maybe one second.
#6: Godzilla Not Using His Atomic Breath Earlier
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“Godzilla” (2014) Most fans would agree that the best moment from 2014’s “Godzilla” is the climactic battle where the titular king unleashes his “kiss of death.” It’s the applause-worthy fatality that we were waiting for. But why did we have to wait for it? Godzilla spends a good portion of the movie smacking the MOTOs around. Instead of saving his atomic breath as his big finish, why not open with that attack? He probably would’ve won the fight much quicker. It’s explained in a screenplay draft and novelization that the MUTOs’ electromagnetic pulses weaken Godzilla’s atomic breath, although this isn’t made very clear in the actual film. Weakened or not, Godzilla’s atomic breath gets the job done; we don’t see why it was his last resort.
#5: Packard’s Revenge
“Kong: Skull Island” (2017) After the boneyard debacle, you’d think that Packard would wise up and start taking advice from Hank. Being the big tough military guy in a monster movie, though, Packard doubles down on the stupidity. Although survival should be the only priority, the mad soldier is hellbent on taking Kong down to avenge his men. Even if Packard stood a chance against the beast (which he most certainly doesn’t), Kong is the only force keeping the Skullcrawler situation under control. While everyone else is eventually persuaded to flee, Packard would rather die than admit defeat. Accepting a fate that could’ve been easily dodged, Packard attempts to blow up Kong, but gets a fistful of hurt. Samuel L. Jackson should’ve learned his lesson from that shark encounter.
#4: The Warhead Plan
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“Godzilla” (2014) In the first MonsterVerse movie, it’s established that this isn’t humanity’s first encounter with Godzilla. They tried destroying Godzilla in the 1950s, but a nuclear bomb won’t stop the King of the Monsters. Hell, Godzilla feeds on radiation. So, when Godzilla resurfaces years later to face off against the MUTOs, the military plans to wipe out all three monsters by… using nuclear warheads. Although Serizawa and Graham point out the obvious, Admiral William Stenz approves the plan. Granted, Serizawa’s “let them fight” strategy wasn’t exactly ideal, but the warheads only make matters worse. The female MUTO eats one, adding to the body count in the process. The other is used to make a nest, endangering even more lives.
#3: Flying Towards a Giant Ape
“Kong: Skull Island” (2017) A word of advice: if you’re piloting a helicopter and there’s a giant ape (or really a giant anything) on the horizon, don’t fly directly at it. That monster will take you down with his bare paws. Either that, or he’ll throw a tree, a human, or another helicopter at you. Don’t bother firing your puny guns. Your weapons are useless and will only antagonize the beast. On that note, dropping seismic explosives on his turf isn’t advised either. Okay, so just to make sure we’re all on the same page, you see a big ape, turn the helicopter around immediately. Anyway, the characters here introduce themselves to Kong by flying at him, shooting at him, and blowing up his home ... It doesn’t go well.
#2: Creating Mechagodzilla
“Godzilla vs. Kong” (2021) In theory, having a Titan-sized robot operated by humans isn’t a horrible idea. It worked well in “Pacific Rim.” With Godzilla serving as humanity’s savior, however, Apex had no real reason to build Mechagodzilla. Apex head Walter Simmons wants to put humans back on top, but Mechagodzilla’s mere existence infuriates Godzilla. Upon acquiring the Hollow Earth energy source, Waler unwisely activates Mechagodzilla without doing any tests. This results in Ghidorah’s consciousness taking control of the mech. Walter not only pays with his life, but he creates a monster that not even Godzilla can defeat alone. Fortunately, Kong is around to lend a helping paw. Come to think of it, why didn’t Godzilla bring some other Titans for backup? He is the alpha predator, after all. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions. Going to Skull Island, “Kong: Skull Island” (2017) Afterwards, Let’s Go to Jurassic Park & Play with the Velociraptors Ford Telling Elle to Wait For Him, “Godzilla” (2014) Dude, Tell Her to Get Out of Dodge ASAP & Meet Up Later! Trusting Apex, “Godzilla vs. Kong” (2021) Has a Tech Company in a Monster Movie Ever Been on the Side of Good? Not Listening to Hank, “Kong: Skull Island” (2017) Sorry, But It Really Bugs Us When Hank Goes Unheeded Transporting Kong Via Ship, “Godzilla vs. Kong” (2021) You Know Godzilla Hangs Out in the Water, Right?
#1: Freeing Monster Zero
“Godzilla: King of the Monsters” (2019) In a film that brings together numerous Titans, the biggest monster is Dr. Emma Russell. As if putting her own daughter in constant danger isn’t bad enough, Emma jeopardizes the entire world by releasing King Ghidorah, not to mention Rodan. While Emma isn’t the film’s main human antagonist, a distinction that goes to eco-terrorist Alan Jonah, her reasoning is the most ludicrous. Emma believes that by awakening the Titans, the world can begin to heal from humanity’s mistakes. As someone who was in San Francisco when all hell broke loose, Emma should know that Titans can cause more damage in several days than humans have throughout the centuries. Even Emma eventually realizes the holes in her logic, but by then, Pandora’s Box is wide open.
