Top 10 Most Absurd Video Game Hairstyles

Script written by Mike Wynands Which video game character has the craziest, most outrageous, most ostentatious, the weirdest, stupidest, what the eff were they thinking-est hairstyles? Welcome to http://Watchmojo.com and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Most Absurd Video Game Hairstyles. Special thanks to our user “MikeyP” for suggesting this topic using our interactive suggestion tool at http://WatchMojo.comsuggest
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Top 10 Absurd Video Game Hairstyles

We’re all for embracing the suspension of disbelief when it comes to gaming... but you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’ll be counting down the Top 10 Absurd Video Game Hairstyles.
For this list we’re looking at the most unbelievable heads of hair from the wide world of gaming. Please don’t try to recreate any these hairstyles at home… these video characters and their respective hairstylists are clearly professionals.
WARNING: Some hairdos may involve jagged edges or sharp points. Proceed with caution.

#10: Cloud Strife

“Final Fantasy VII” (1997)
Love it or hate it… this hairdo has carved out an important place for itself in video game history. Sitting squarely atop the head of arguably Square Enix’s most popular character, from the fan favorite entry in the franchise, this spiky mass of hair has inspired countless cosplayers to challenge gravity and the limitations of hairgel. The harsh angles at which Cloud Strife’s hair change directions suggest that it must have been carved from stone by Edward Scissorhands himself. Later entries in the series may have taken his “do” in a more realistic direction in terms of length, texture and shape, but his first appearance, including the pseudo-super saiyan hair, is still the definitive one for the average fan.

#9: Agent J

“Elite Beat Agents” (2006)
Let’s be clear… not since “The Three Stooges” have three men with such remarkably distinct haircuts thought it appropriate to hang out together. The visual style of “Elite Beat Agents” is taken from comic books, and Agents Morris, Derek and J all clearly visit comic book inspired hair-stylists regularly to maintain these larger than life dos. Agent J and his fellow government operatives use their sweet moves and angelic voices to motivate citizens in need, helping them achieve their goals. The premise may seem silly, but it’s rather sweet and a whole lot of fun. Besides, Agent J’s giant pompadour topped with a cinnamon roll cyclone of hair is infinitely less believable than the game’s storyline.

#8: Birdie

“Street Fighter” series (1987-)
Nope. That can’t possibly be hair. Someone must’ve taken a giant yellow boomerang and managed to embed about half of it into this human wrecking ball's head. At least in the original “Street Fighter”, and again in “Street Fighter V”, Birdie had a relatively standard punk rock mohawk. It may have been a little garish, but it was believable. In the “Street Fighter Alpha” franchise however, it’s presented as an impeccably sharpened shark fin, which, coupled with a wildly unnecessary cookie-cutter circle of hair removed from the middle, makes for a haircut that crosses a line no hairdresser should ever consider. But sure enough, when Birdie gets moving, the hair gets displaced - proving, however unlikely, that it’s the real deal.

#7: June Lin Milliam

“Star Gladiator” series (1996-99)
There’s nothing that remarkable about regular pigtails. In fact, it’s one of the first hairdos most young girls learn. But to achieve an effect where the two pigtails go straight up and then swirl into a cinnamon-bun type shape… that’s impressive hairstyling. Like so many other ridiculous haircuts featured in fighting games, it’s hard to fathom how such distinctly precarious stylings can hold up walking down the street on a slightly windy day… let alone in a fight. Watching June go flying through the air, land on her head, and stand up, hair spirals still intact, is simply too much to take. She might use plasma rings in combat, but we’re calling witchcraft in the hair department.

#6: Daryan Crescend

“Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney” (2008)
So is that large missile on Daryan Crescend’s head or is his hair just happy to see you? Crescend is a musician and criminal, who uses his acoustic guitar to smuggle a particularly deadly piece of contraband. With a haircut like his though, it’s a wonder he didn’t think to just hide stuff in his giant, oblong, record-breaking pompadour. On second thought, that thing already looks pretty heavy. Any added weight and this overconfident, front-heavy hairdo-sporting guitarist might tip forward and fall flat on his face. That hair looks like it takes a good few hours to put together each morning, it would be a shame to mess it up.

#5: Millia Rage

“Guilty Gear” series (1998-)
Imagine if your long golden locks of hair endlessly curled around your own body. How would you possibly walk? How complicated would getting dressed and undressed be? Millia Rage’s resting hairstyle may look impractical, but her hair is actually as versatile as can be. It is her primary weapon, and can become rock hard and razor sharp while taking on a variety of shapes. It can transform into singular shapes or act as distinct strands. She’s walking proof of the saying “blondes have more fun” and it is most certainly all thanks to her hair. As for everyone else who comes into contact with her hair on the other hand… “fun” probably isn’t the first word that comes to mind.

#4: Bayonetta
“Bayonetta” series (2009-)
For those of you unfamiliar with this character, we’re not JUST talking about that beehive hairdo that looks like a Witch’s hat, though that is pretty crazy. Rather since Bayonetta is a witch, the source of her strength comes from her black hair - which she can not only control, but use to summon demons and incorporate into her fighting style. Her hairstyle changed between “Bayonetta” and “Bayonetta 2”, but according to the game’s director, Yusuke Hashimoto, Bayonetta never cuts her hair, she just uses her magic to manipulate its appearance. Her hair also forms part of her outfit. So what makes it absurd? The fact that it’s constantly moving and shapeshifting. Bayonetta hairstyle can only be described as “ever changing and never boring”.

#3: Guile
“Street Fighter ” series (1987-)
What happens when you take the hairstyle known as a “flat top” and mix it with a battle axe? Well, no one knows what to call it. Guile must know since he’s got one on his head, but who’s got the nerve to ask this strapping military man anything? Apparently, he originally had a standard flat top but the character artist for “Street Fighter 2” stretched out his hair as a joke. Unfortunately for Guile (and any potential romantic interests), the joke went over so well with the team, they decided to keep it. He’s been going through tubs of American military-strength jugs of hair gel to keep it up ever since. He even keeps a comb handy to make sure that hair stays in shape after a battle. That’s dedication.

#2: Heihachi Mishima

“Tekken” series (1994-)
Male pattern baldness… it affects many men. Not even video game characters are spared. The question is - when it hits you, will you shave your head like Mr. Clean, turn to the ever unflattering toupee or… will you rock that male pattern baldness - Heihachi style? Mr. Mishima’s hair can only be described as two mohawks sitting on either side of a fully receded hairline. Think… bald Wolverine. But as Paul Phoenix demonstrates, hairstylists in the Tekken universe seem to firmly believe in the old saying “if you got it - flaunt it.”. Heihachi Mishima ain’t got much of it, but he certainly seems to be doing his best to flaunt whatever he’s got left. How about those eyebrows and moustache though?

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

Charlie Nash
“Street Fighter” series (1987-)
Sissel
“Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective” (2010)
Benimaru
“The King of Fighters” series (1994-0)

#1: Maester Seymour Guado

“Final Fantasy X” (2001)
We might be impressed by Seymour Guado’s stunningly complex head of hair if it weren’t so damn terrifying. It simply doesn’t make sense. It’s a good thing that he’s such a well-regarded figure in the world of Spira (Speera), because anyone with less charisma, political clout, power and absurdly handsome face certainly could not pull off this… peculiar look. His hair looks like it has sprouted furry wings... or tentacles. Maybe some sort of living bat-based hairpiece? Whatever the origin of this striking head of hair may be… it takes the award for most absurd hairstyle. Considering the steep competition Seymour faces from characters in his own franchise, like Ultimecia, is that’s saying a whole lot.

Do you agree with our list? What’s the most absurd video game hairstyle you’ve ever seen? For more slightly out there top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.

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