Top 10 Funniest Movie Quote of the 2000s

Script written by Nick Spake

Prepare to laugh yourself silly. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 2000s. For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from movies from the 2000s that have had the most staying power.

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Script written by Nick Spake

Top 10 Funniest Movie Quote of the 2000s


Prepare to laugh yourself silly. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 2000s.

For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from movies from the 2000s that have had the most staying power. These jokes must be funny without context and not simply because of a visual gag or excellent delivery, and do not have to be featured in comedy movies. This is part of a series of videos spanning the decades. Because one or two of these quotes may be a little rude, viewer discretion is advised.

#10: If I Grew Up On a Farm…
“In Bruges” (2008)

“In Bruges” is a darkly comedic masterwork that you’ll be constantly quoting after one viewing. Of course you might not be too proud of yourself for quoting it. Although Bruges is like a fairytale town, it’s just not Ray’s thing. The hitman sums up his thoughts on the Belgian city with this gem of a line that appeals to the pessimist in all of us. Ray is probably the last person you’d want to go sightseeing with, unless you’re looking for a cynic to provide hilarious commentary throughout the trip.

#9: I Have Nipples, Greg
“Meet the Parents” (2000)

It’s nothing short of hysterical how Greg Focker digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble as he tries to impress his future in-laws in “Meet theParents.” A simple lie about growing up on a farm quickly snowballs into a calamity with Greg trying to cover-up one lie with another. You can practically see his nose growing throughout his meandering tirade. Greg caps things off with the most ridiculous lie of all: “You can milk anything with nipples.” It’s Jack’s deadpan response, though, that cements this scene as comedy gold.

#8: I’m Hammered Drunk!
“Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (2006)

In this classic scene from the equally classic “Talladega Nights,” Ricky Bobby says grace, but it soon goes off-topic, spiraling into deep philosophical matters. Just how should one perceive Jesus? To Ricky, Jesus is a tiny Christmas baby; to his son, Jesus is a ninja fighting off samurai. But those depictions are fairly tame compared to Cal’s vision of Christ, which sees the Son of God as a Skynyrd loving, Southern rocker, complete with eagle wings. Whoever crafted this absurd string of dialogue must’ve either been hammered drunk, a comedic genius, or a bit of both.

#7: Never Go Full Retard
“Tropic Thunder” (2008)

Before moving forward, let’s take a big step back and listen to Les Grossman. Now then, let’s take a word of advice from Kirk Lazarus on how to win an Oscar. Rule numero uno: Never go full retard. What makes this line an instant classic is that despite it being shocking and decidedly un-PC, there does seem to be validity to the claim. Dustin Hoffman in “Rain Man:” Oscar! Tom Hanks in “Forrest Gump:” Oscar! Sean Penn in “I Am Sam:” No Oscar, but at least he was nominated, which is more than we can say for Tugg Speedman in “Simple Jack.”

#6: Unfunny Version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’
“Knocked Up” (2007)

This line from “Knocked Up” unearths exceptional observational humor by referencing another observational comedy: “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Paul Rudd’s Pete perfectly sums up how the series captures the trials of marriage, but clouds the intensity of those tribulations with a lighthearted sitcom atmosphere. The result is a relatable situation comedy that harbors a surprising amount of truth. You wouldn’t think a critical analysis of a TV show would be so sidesplitting. Like “Everybody Loves Raymond,” though, most married men can identify with Pete’s words.

#5: 60% of the Time It Works Every Time
“Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” (2004)

As it was WatchMojo’s pick for the Most Quotable Movie ever, there’s no way we could leave “Anchorman” off this countdown. But which line to single out? While Ron’s German translation of San Diego is tempting, we’re more allured by the scent of Brian Fantana’s Sex Panther. Yet another uproarious line delivered by Paul Rudd, this pungent cologne is said to somehow work on the ladies every time, 60% of the time. The other 40% of the time? It apparently smells like Big Foot’s dick.

#4: A Bag of Sand
“The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005)

Andy may be a virgin, but you’d think he would have gained some understanding of the opposite sex during his 40 years on earth. Alas, he’s as clueless as an eleven-year-old in health class. While he almost manages to keep up the facade that he’s sexually experienced for well over a minute, he blows his cover upon trying to explain what a woman’s breasts feel like. Naturally, a boob has the texture of the sexiest thing in all of nature: “A bag of sand.” After that priceless description, the truth about Andy’s virginity is fully exposed.

#3: A Different Kind of Iron Chef
“Superbad” (2007)

“Superbad” is another laugh a minute comedy where the one-liners fly by so fast that you need to watch it multiple times just to catch them all. One particular quote that’s etched into the halls of comic quotability, however, is Seth’s game plan to become a sex god in time for college. While the rant is a riot on a writing level, it’s the way Jonah Hill puts emphasis on the word “vaj,” that elevates the line into a comedic league of its own.

#2: Rude Words
“Team America: World Police” (2004)

Remember when your mom said you shouldn’t curse because it’s rude and not funny? She lied. Matt Stone and Trey Parker have been proving her wrong for decades, as the two have a gift for making brilliant political commentary in the most childish and disgusting ways. Nowhere is that better represented than in the climax of “Team America: World Police.” Delivering a passionate speech, Gary speaks a truth that every nation can understand. Well, what can you say to that but God bless America!

Before we crack up at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
-    Motorboatin’ Son of a Bitch
“Wedding Crashers” (2005)
-    It’s Like I Have ESPN
“Mean Girls” (2004)
-    I’m So Hiiiiigh!
“Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” (2004)
-    You Taste Like a Burger
“Wet Hot American Summer” (2001)
-    Sexy Time
“Borat” (2006)

#1: Fit Inside the Building
“Zoolander” (2001)

The funniest line of this decade comes from one of comedy’s most ingenious minds and dumbest characters. Upon the unveiling of a model for TheDerek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too, our title character is not impressed. Mistakingthe small-scale model for the real deal, the fashion model throws a hissy fit that could only come from the world’s most boneheaded diva. For Derek’s vision to come to fruition, the center needs to be at least…three times bigger. Clearly, Zoolander is all hair gel and no brain.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the funniest quote of the 2000s? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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