1. It only takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
2. Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books; the words assemble themselves out of fear.
3. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
4. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
6. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) .
7. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
8. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
9. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
10. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
10. Make sure you are born handsome and rich.
9. Drink Red Bull til your liver vibrates.
8. Don’t juggle more than one bromance at the same time.
7. Always stay up-to-date on your geopolitical affairs…I’m totally messing with you.
6. Lift with the legs, not the back—that’s good advice for anyone.
5. What does it matter? Swine flu is gonna kill us all.
4. Eat a diet rich on riboflavin.
3. Come up with a sick catchphrase like, “It’s Jenner time!”
2. Yo, just keep straight coolin’ on the smooth tip, son…I actually have no idea what that means.
1. If you are watching this at home right now, you’re already screwed.
From The Late Show
1. The Facebook Song (RhettandLink)
2. The Facebook Skit
3. Honest Graduation Song (College Humor)
4. R U F**king Kidding Me (Kate Miller-Heidke)
5. Mr. Creepy Facebook Stalker Guy
6. 2005 Miami U. Cheezies a cappella: Facebook Song
7. Vince Dyer’s Facebook.com Song
8. Facebook Gangsta
9. Facebook Anthem
10. Be My Friend (The Facebook Song)
Watch them at Mashable.com
1- Goldstar Beer
2- MGD 64
3- Heineken
4- Bishops Finger
5- Brahma Beer
6- Bard’s Beer
7- Cognac
8- Baileys
9-Tequila
10- Hiney Wine
See them all here.
1) the intern has more responsibility than you do, your present job is on monster.com and your cubicle has been down-sized like the guy in the movie ” Office space”
2) Your company was recently acquired, and you spent two weeks worrying that you’d be laid off. After that you worried that you wouldn’t be.
3) There’s a meeting at 3:00 to talk about the upcoming reorganization, and you’re not invited.
4) Some important exec says the company needs to “streamline its infrastructure.” and Your divsion manager sends a mass email assuring you everything is ok.
5) Your boss makes you take his dog “Skippy” to the vet
6) Your boss keeps forgetting your name and nicknames you “Skippy”
7) You can’t remember the last time you said the words “Man….it seems slow this week….”
8) You go to work when it’s dark and come home when it’s darker.
9) You High-light your shoes and tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this and put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
10) It’s Thursday & you FINALLY get around to asking your co-workers how their weekend was
From SocialConscious
