1. “Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! I.P. Freely!”
2. “Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!”
3. “Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?”
4. “Bea O’Problem! Bea O’Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O’Problem?”
5. “Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I’m looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Why can’t I find Amanda Huggenkiss?”
6. “Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!”
7. “Jacques Strap! Hey, guys, I’m looking for a Jacques Strap!”
8. “Hugh Jass! Oh, somebody check the men’s room for a Hugh Jass!”
9. “Homer Sexual? Come on, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!”
10. “Phone call for Al! Al Coholic! Is there an Al Coholic here?”

According to The Chicago Tribune…

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