According to Time…
1. “Who are the Cardinals?”
2. “Where can I get a t-shirt?” Coughbandwagonnerscough.
3. “But, but … are you sure?”
4. Thud! Sigh. (This is the reaction of a diehard Cardinals fan being able to die happy.)
5. “WTF!?”
6. “They’ll still find some way to screw it up before they even get there. The Eagles will have to come in as their replacement.”
7. “I’ve always been a fan of the Cardinals. Like, ever since last week.”
8. Thud! (This is the sound of every other football fan who made a bet that if the Cardinals make it to the Super Bowl, their best friend could punch them in the face.)
9. “Hell froze over … in the desert.”
10. Slap! Slap! Pinch. (This is every real Cardinals fan attempting to wake themselves up.)