10- At the bottom of an escalator, scream “MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
9- At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed
8- Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard
7- Sneak up on a saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray her with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke
6- Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts
5- At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there’s much meat on them
4- Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are “leak proof”
3- Ask appliance personal if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish
2- Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big
1- Show people your driver’s license and demand to know “whether they’ve seen this man”
According to www.brainofbrain.com