Top 10 Movie Rants

Script written by Sean Harris. Sometimes saying it once just doesn’t say it well enough! In this video, WatchMojo.com counts down our picks for the top 10 movie rants. For this list, we’ve looked at the longest, loudest, most lethal ranting that the cinema has ever seen. These are no quick-fire put-downs, though; cause we’ve already got lists of the Top 10 Obscene Movie Insults, Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults and the Top 10 Memorable Movie Insults. Also, there may be a few spoilers ahead, so SPOILER ALERT. Special thanks to our users Mattyhull1, jwiking62, Aman Bhonsle, D-Fens and mgarber for submitting the idea on our Suggestions Page at WatchMojo.comsuggest
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Script written by Sean Harris.

Top 10 Movie Rants


Sometimes saying it once just doesn’t say it well enough! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 movie rants.

For this list, we’ve looked at the longest, loudest most lethal ranting that the cinema has ever seen. These are no quick-fire put-downs, though; cause we’ve already got lists of the Top 10 Obscene Movie Insults, Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults and the Top 10 Memorable Movie Insults. Also, there may be a few spoilers ahead, so SPOILER ALERT.

#10: Mugatu’s Meltdown
“Zoolander” (2001)

Will Ferrell’s known for outbursts, and this is one of his finest! And here, he grabs the catwalk by its tail and pulls really hard! Ferrell plays Mugatu, the designer who’s brainwashed Derek Zoolander to kill Malaysia’s Prime Minister. He also invented the piano key necktie, and no one’s going to forget it. Plus, his blood red suit and gold cravat, stylized old-man hair, and screaming are all pretty memorable too! What has Derek done? What have we done?? In comparison to this man, there’s only one answer…

#9: Happy Goes Balls-Out Ballistic
“Happy Gilmore” (1996)

Golf is known as “the gentleman’s game,” but gentle is not how you’d describe our next clip. Just put the ball in the hole it’s a simple concept, right? Not for Adam Sandler! When this hockey player-turned-golfer’s putt falls short, he goes nuts! With a temper as high as his clubhouse score, he riddles the green with all colors of language. Golf’s a frustrating game, and those who play might understand this reaction… For the rest of us, it’s just comedy gold – a rant that’s well above par!

#8: Appreciating the Alphabet
“Vampire’s Kiss” (1989)

Can anyone act exasperated better than Nicolas Cage? We think not… and here he is again, fantastically fed-up as a man who thinks he’s becoming a vampire. But even vamps need day jobs. And filing things is a fundamental workplace skill… it’s easy as ABC. But for Cage, it’s more than that… it’s DEF… and G… it’s the entire alphabet! We keep thinking he’s gonna stop, but he just doesn’t! The hands-on-hips are especially schoolmaster! “Organization” is the word-of-the-day here… and that begins with O… Please don’t forget!

#7: Berating on a Bike
“The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005)

After accidentally revealing his virginity to his coworkers, Andy Stitzer takes off in a rush. And, sure we’re all susceptible to road rage once in a while – however, the blaring of a car horn is way more satisfying than the ringing of a bicycle bell! But for this maturing virgin, that’s all he has – a bell, and a ton of anxiety! The faster he pedals, the more emotion flies outta him – he’s like an enraged hamster on its exercise wheel. His bike rants are as angry as they are adorable.

#6: Clark’s Christmas Bonus
“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (1989)

The patriarch of the Griswold clan may not have gotten his Christmas bonus, but we sure got ours! We asked Santa for a sack-load of insults, and he gave us Chevy Chase! The whole family gathers around to see the man blow his top, but they didn’t realize how much abuse one guy could give! It’s a scene that has us writhing in pain, because we’re laughing so hard!

#5: Mad as Hell
“Network” (1976)

He’s the “mad prophet of the airways,” of “the boredom-killing business,” he’s Howard Beale and you better be listening! It’s the 1970s, and the media is taking over… it’s infecting our brains and paralyzing our bodies! Beale is the preacher, the savior, the serial ranter that can help us see the error of our ways. His rhetoric is so powerful, it’s persuasive – “we’re mad as hell” and we’re turning our screens off! … Just wait ‘til the end of this video before you do!

#4: You Can’t Handle the Truth
“A Few Good Men” (1992)

It’s one of the most quoted lines in movie history, and one of the most brutal rants cinema has ever seen. As a U.S. Marine Corps colonel and a man with a secret, Jack Nicholson reigns supreme over Tom Cruise and the entire courtroom as he outlines exactly what a soldier does for his country. Every sentence is explosive; every syllable’s a bullet-wound. Nicholson is merciless, he barely even blinks, and Cruise is caught in the crossfire. He can’t handle it, and we can’t take our eyes from the screen!

#3: One Helluva Eulogy
“The Big Lebowski” (1998)

Their buddy Donny might be dead, but he’ll never be forgotten – and neither will the Vietnam War! Walter’s at his self-righteous best as he pays his last respects to a friend. For him, though, everything traces back to Saigon; for The Dude, this episode is just plain stupid! Walter can’t even mourn without mentioning ‘Nam, he can’t scatter ashes without checking the wind direction – this man’s annoying, but his awkward rants are awesome!

#2: A Big F***ing Problem
“Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (1987)

For a notably comedic actor, Steve Martin sure doesn’t see the funny side of our next scene. He’s stuck at the airport, he’s trying to get home for Thanksgiving, he needs some wheels, and he is not prepared to wait. As he leans across the desk he’s literally convulsing with rage, and when he opens his mouth, 5 star vulgarity ensues. It’s 50% regular vocab and 50% swearing – and you still get the impression he’s holding a lot back! This is not your regular rant – this is ranting royalty.

Before we let our top pick loose, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Here He Is “Taxi Driver” (1976)
- Everything Sucks “Swingers” (1996)
- Out of Order? “Scent of a Woman” (1992)
- F*** Everybody and Everything “25th Hour” (2002)
- Racist Stereotypes “Do the Right Thing” (1989)

#1: Hitler Does Not Approve
“Downfall” [aka “Der Untergang”] (2004)

When the chips are down, ranting can ease the tension – in this scene, however, the chips are destroyed, and the tension couldn’t be higher! Adolf Hitler learns of the Allied march on Berlin, and he’s furious! He delivers the “you’ve let everyone down” speech with such venom, such hatred, that his henchmen reach for their collars just as we’re loosening ours! It’s a pivotal scene in the movie, and a pivotal point in time – historically, it’s significant, cinematically it’s magnificent! Best of all, it’s become the go-to meme for any and all YouTube rants thanks to simply switched-up subtitles!

Do you agree with our list? Which rant did we miss? For more angry Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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