Nothing can match the bodaciously awesome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They’re pizza eating bipedal ninjas named after renaissance artists, with a rat for a master! Sure, they had a few missteps over the years, but nothing compares to their short lived 1997 Television series “The Next Mutation”.
This show not only lowered the bar in terms of budget, costumes, voice talent and plot…but brought in something that made it’s own creators wince in agony. That’s right, I’m talking about Venice De Milo, the female Ninja Turtle.
First off, she was said to have been their long lost sister. However this didn’t stop the rest of the Turtles from hitting on her at every turn. Some people say that you couldn’t blame them, they’re teenagers and puberty hits mutants harder then the rest of us.
Still, it was icky and wrong in so many ways. Plus, they gave her boobs and a light blue bandana and Why not just make it pink already! We all know they wanted to!
Here’s a demo of what the show contained…Skip to 2:40 to see Shredder’s small (and lame) cameo.
What ultimately killed the show was a series of things that amounted to death by a million paper cuts. I’ll try and cram in a few lines for you:
-Their Bandanas were weird and covered half their faces.
-They each carried their letter on chest medallions. Okay, we’re not dumb…we know who each turtle is! They’re color coded for Christ’s sake!
-Splinter looked like a shabby sock puppet.
-Shredder was hardly featured and when he did show up he had a weird anime look, cheapo plastic armor and sounded like an infomercial salesman.
-The whole thing was way too spiritual. Common’ Venus can shoot energy balls…why?
-The New bad guy Dragon and his shoulder creature where too annoying.
-It was made by the same company that made Power Rangers (which resulted in unethical cameos. I say unethical because it’s a travesty).
Honestly, I can go on all day, but it’s better that you just watch the clips. And once you’re done please do yourself a favor and forget about the whole thing. The creators did! In fact, they quickly denounced the whole project and made sure no one could mistake what they saw for cannon.
Here’s the show’s laughable intro:
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