Nothing can match the bodaciously awesome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They’re pizza eating bipedal ninjas named after renaissance artists, with a rat for a master! Sure, they had a few missteps over the years, but nothing compares to their short lived 1997 Television series “The Next Mutation”.
This show not only lowered the bar in terms of budget, costumes, voice talent and plot…but brought in something that made it’s own creators wince in agony. That’s right, I’m talking about Venice De Milo, the female Ninja Turtle.
First off, she was said to have been their long lost sister. However this didn’t stop the rest of the Turtles from hitting on her at every turn. Some people say that you couldn’t blame them, they’re teenagers and puberty hits mutants harder then the rest of us.
Still, it was icky and wrong in so many ways. Plus, they gave her boobs and a light blue bandana and Why not just make it pink already! We all know they wanted to!
Here’s a demo of what the show contained…Skip to 2:40 to see Shredder’s small (and lame) cameo.
What ultimately killed the show was a series of things that amounted to death by a million paper cuts. I’ll try and cram in a few lines for you:
-Their Bandanas were weird and covered half their faces.
-They each carried their letter on chest medallions. Okay, we’re not dumb…we know who each turtle is! They’re color coded for Christ’s sake!
-Splinter looked like a shabby sock puppet.
-Shredder was hardly featured and when he did show up he had a weird anime look, cheapo plastic armor and sounded like an infomercial salesman.
-The whole thing was way too spiritual. Common’ Venus can shoot energy balls…why?
-The New bad guy Dragon and his shoulder creature where too annoying.
-It was made by the same company that made Power Rangers (which resulted in unethical cameos. I say unethical because it’s a travesty).
Honestly, I can go on all day, but it’s better that you just watch the clips. And once you’re done please do yourself a favor and forget about the whole thing. The creators did! In fact, they quickly denounced the whole project and made sure no one could mistake what they saw for cannon.
Here’s the show’s laughable intro:
Digg this Blog
Share on Facebook
WatchMojo on Twitter
WatchMojo on YouTube
Add to Favorites
WatchMojo NewsletterIn Quebec, Canada there is a very popular French comedy series called “Tete a Claque.” The skits feature characters sculpted from modelling clay with actual faces superimposed with the creator’s actual eyes, mouth, and sometimes nose by means of a computer. To make it extra funny, its creator (Michel Beaudet) wears a set of fake nasty teeth while his face is being filmed.
This episode is exceptionally funny, especially to American and English viewers as it pokes fun at language divides. Oh, and incase you’re curious, the phrase “Tête à claques” translates loosely to “a face so ugly, you want to slap it.”
Enjoy!
Did you catch the big night on TV? Like usual, it was a star-studded event with twists and turns as Hollywood rewarded its best films. Check out WatchMojo.com’s coverage of the prestigious event.
The Lord of The Rings is one of the greatest cinematic trilogies ever made. It’s up there with the Original Star Wars Trilogy in terms of epic-ness (But not the new ones… damn you Lucas you no-neck/no talent Jar Jar Maker).
So yah, the awesome Sir Ian McKellen (he’s a real life knight!), who we all know as the benevolent Wizard Gandalf has personally confirmed the news on his official website. In fact, there he states that shooting on The Hobbit will start shooting this summer.
As with all epic projects, it will be a long shoot lasting up to a year. Like the other installments, it will be filmed in New Zealand
For those weary of a prequel, McKellen tries to sooth your soul by mentioning that “the first draft is crammed with old and new friends, again on a quest in Middle Earth.” These include Andy Serkis as Gollum and Hugo Weaving as Elrond, plus other members of the Rings trilogy cast are expected to return (hopefully just the ones that make sense).
Despite this news from the actor, A New Line spokeswoman told Variety that no start date has yet been set. So yes, he has took it upon himself to spill the magic beans…
Director Guillermo del Toro will apparently be taking the wheel on this one, while Peter Jackson (who directed the Lord of the Rings), is overseeing the script as a producer. The idea here is to divide J.R.R. Tolkein’s novel into two parts as we follow the adventures of Bilbo Baggins and a mysterious ring that makes him invisible (what ring can that be I wonder?!).
Filming of the first instalment of The Hobbit is expected to take a year and could be released as early as 2012 (hopefully before the world ends).
Here’s the intro to the 1977’s animated Hobbit feature… just to get you in the mood..
Are you a sex and the city fan? Well have your fun with a middle-aged cast now, because changes are coming. That’s right, a prequel is on the way…
Sex and The City is getting a makeover/reboot as it heads back to the high school days of Carrie Bradshaw and company. Of all the countless movies and Television shows to do this, I’d have to admit that it makes sense here (more so then Superman in Smallville… man I hate that pile of Sh#t).
How do you feel about a little bit of Hot Tub Time Machine with your Sex and The City? Are you keen on sending Carrie Bradshaw and her friends back to their youth… complete with teenage hissy fits, crazy big hair and ’80s culture? Imagine that, we’ll get to see everyone lose their Virginity… Sounds like a plan.
The novel (which the new show will be based) is called “The Carrie Diaries” and it won’t hit stores until the end of April, but you can catch a glimpse of the opening pages in the yesterdays Teen Vogue.
Apparently, many people think it will be instant gold to see the back story of a woman (Carrie) who first appeared fully/overly sexually developed, complete with tutu in the middle of Manhattan.
The author herself isn’t concerned with staying true to the clues of Carrie’s previous life mentioned during the original TV series…
“In just a few paragraphs, we learn that young Miss Bradshaw didn’t have a boyfriend in junior year…Likewise, her dad is pushing her to go to Brown — despite the fact that future Carrie’s string of toxic boyfriends can at least partly be attributed to her father abandoning her as a child.”
Certainly, this series will appeal to 16 year olds and older ladies who are devouring The Twilight Saga. However I am tickled by the opinion of Mary Elizabeth Williams from Broadsheet, she says the following:
“While the HBO series always offered occasional wit and indulgent eye candy, Candace Bushnell herself remains one of the most godawful writers in creation. ‘My heart pounds in my throat; if I open my mouth, I’m afraid it will jump out,’ she writes. ‘I shake my head.’ It’s young adult writing, all right, in the sense that it’s authentically juvenile. And though Reagan-era Carrie is equally ‘obsessed with feminism’ and her white patent leather boots, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why the hell would anybody read about her?”
Haha, true say Williams…true say! You can read the full article by Broadsheet HERE
Also, how do you feel about the show featuring a younger Carrie Bradshaw? I bet they get a super model to play the less then attractive part of Sarah Jessica Parker. I’m a guy and I can honestly say that she plays second fiddle in the looks department to the other ladies on the classic HBO series. Still, I’m glad the show isn’t going forward in time yet, we already know how that turns out…it’s called “The Golden Girls. You can buy it on DVD now! No waiting involved, just geriatric escapades with a near identical cast! By the way, Sarah-Jessica Parker would probably be the one at the center bottom of the photo….Dorthy right? God, why do I even know that…
